Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Possibly worrying too much about how to tell others I've had VSG. What did you do?



Recommended Posts

I must preface this by saying I have never been at a loss for words. I'm a 58 year old professional who has worked in and with the public for decades. Why am I so concerned/cautious/embarrassed to tell others I'm having VSG on 3/6? My family including siblings all know as do two BFF's and the must-know people at work. But the idea of telling church friends and work friends and others who will have to notice something is happening is making me so uptight. How did you handle this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm getting sleeved on the 6th as well!

As for telling people, I'm not. I possibly might tell my friend later on, but coworkers and such no. I'm a private person. It is my business and no one else's. Although people might start to wonder at work. Especially since a coworker had bariatric surgery yesterday and she was open about it. I feel both of us losing weight at the same time may look suspicious

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh I totally get that as I consider myself a very private person that unfortunately must live a very public role in our community. I routinely protect my (and hubby and kids') privacy like a zealot ... and on one hand I doubt anyone cares as much as I fear telling them. Guess it's all part of coming to terms with a lifestyle change.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Jess55 said:

I'm getting sleeved on the 6th as well!

As for telling people, I'm not. I possibly might tell my friend later on, but coworkers and such no. I'm a private person. It is my business and no one else's. Although people might start to wonder at work. Especially since a coworker had bariatric surgery yesterday and she was open about it. I feel both of us losing weight at the same time may look suspicious

I concur, it's no one's business. If a person wishes to tell others anyways that's their prerogative. However, outside my wife, a best friend, and the Leaner Services department of my university, and of course wide array of medical professionals I see, nobody else knows or will know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell anyone I don't live with. And no one has asked. They see me working out and eating less. Since most people assume anyone can lose weight that way, they just figure I'm doing what I should.

Look, I didn't tell anyone about my hemorrhoids. Why would I share other private medical information?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, Vinasu said:

I didn't tell anyone I don't live with. And no one has asked. They see me working out and eating less. Since most people assume anyone can lose weight that way, they just figure I'm doing what I should.

Look, I didn't tell anyone about my hemorrhoids. Why would I share other private medical information?

I think of it in a Charlie Sheen sense regarding hemorrhoids, if I tell them about it, they'll leave me alone and quit speaking to me. Win/win.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell everyone at church... just a few select people that would be able to support me when I was off. If anyone asks, I intend to respond with eating right and increased activity. I don't ask for personal details of the happenings in their lives so why would they expect me to divulge mine?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't have friends or co workers. I live with my MIL, and told her, so of course now the whole world knows ;)

I will be seeing some of my extended family 3 months post surgery for 5 days. Not sure if/what to tell them. Guess I'll see where I'm at at that point. I don't care one way or another if they know after the fact. Don't want to invite nay-sayers beforehand.



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I spoke with my doctor about this same topic tgis week. She told me to play switch a roo when people asked about my weight loss....when someone asked...I could respond my saying yes I have been watching what I eat and exercising and then very quickly comment or ask them a question about them. I must admit I will have to practice that!!



Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't even tell my mother or my sister. My husband, two teen daughters and my best friend knew. That was it. I'm 6 months out and 75 pounds down from my high weight in April 2016. When people comment on my weight loss, I thank them. When they ask what I'm doing, I tell the truth, but not the whole truth :

  • I eat a high Protein, low carb diet
  • I exercise 4-5 times a week for at least 1 hour and work with a personal trainer
  • I'm working with a doctor and dietician for guidance
  • It's not easy, but it's been worth it.

The only person I told at church was our associate rector, and even then, all I said to her was I was having a procedure and wanted her to hold me in prayer. Same thing at work - I just said I had to have abdominal surgery and would be out for a few days.

I just spent the weekend with my husband's family and they don't know and didn't. While you are paying attention to everything on your plate, no one else is. I was able to eat mostly on plan -- I did bring a few Oikos yogurts and some Protein Bars as a just in case.

Don't tell anyone you think will be a Negative Nancy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks everyone for the "reset". This input was exactly what I needed. I'm confident now that I've told the key people that I needed to tell (and told some of them early on in my 6 month process to hold myself accountable). Your suggestions for handling this going forth were right on.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I never understand the need to tell anyone. My husband and I told my daughter, but not his 30 year old son. Neighbors don't know, friends don't know. They rant on about our weight loss, God forbid they would be ranting on about our surgery, IF we had told them.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you don't feel shame about it, then why hide it? I don't wear a t-shirt saying I had weight loss surgery but if someone wants to know about my weight loss then I'll talk about how I accomplished it.

The best way to remove the stigma is to talk about it a matter of fact way - the same way you'd talk about other weight loss techniques like exercise and diet. No one has a problem talking about that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My husband and kids know, we all live in the same house, and my close co-workers at work. I don't plan to tell any others. I do work in a hospital, so people know that have cared for me. Most people already comment that I eat clean, and never have the cakes and Cookies that everyone else at work is eating. It's my choice to share, do what makes you comfortable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×