no support at hone, overwhelmed,

[MSer07 39]

I've tried to stick to diet and did very well I lost 17 pounds after surgery but a3 weeks out and my cravings are out of control, ...working full-time and I still have to cook for husband and kids...they are not on the healthy band wagon so I find myself cheating, a small bite here...there...I'm not losing anymore...frustrated ...my husband says he knows it is hard but if I don't cook he is disappointed ...when I cook it only intensifies cravings...I'm miserable.

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[Ssze1109 163]

So sorry to hear. Can you explain that YOU have to come first?

Can he help cook on certain days?

I know I would have cravings too. No matter how much you know you shouldn't eat it, the cravings are still there.

I don't know the answer but this is your life and you need support or you will come to resent him and that will cause more bad feelings and problems.

Good luck and I wish the best for you.

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[Dknal2 1,065]

Well said . I totally agree.

So sorry to hear. Can you explain that YOU have to come first?

Can he help cook on certain days?

I know I would have cravings too. No matter how much you know you shouldn't eat it, the cravings are still there.

I don't know the answer but this is your life and you need support or you will come to resent him and that will cause more bad feelings and problems.

Good luck and I wish the best for you.

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[MSer07 39]

@@Ssze1109 thank you for your kind words...crying as I type this ..I was so happy with this new journey but it is at a stand-still and I'm overwhelmed with defeat...I don't get understanding...I'm the mom I have to cook...I'm frustrated,resentment settling in...I'm so sad...

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[MSer07 39]

@Dklna2 thank you

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[Hammer_Down 631]

I've had a few bouts of cravings since surgery as well, most notably at the 3 weeks mark.

Perhaps if you start cooking healthier meals that will be the thing to encourage your kids and partner to pick up some of the cooking duties.

In my house growing up, if we didn't like what was prepared - we didn't eat that day. We learned pretty quick that being hungry is worse than turnip, salted fish and brussel sprouts (all of which I love as an adult but hated as a kid).

Edited December 2, 2016 by Hammer_Down

[Christinamo7 4,041]

one thing I do is make a mix of ground meat and seasonings. (ground turkey breast and ground sirloin) the family may make nachos, burritos or tacos with it, and I just have the seasoned meat and cheese, sometimes a dollop of sour cream. you can find a way to satisfy what you want and what they want.

often at 9 months out I have the meat and veg and they also have a starch, but I am satisfied with the parts I eat and no one feels left out.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@MSer07, if you're the one doing the cooking, why aren't you the one deciding the menu? They can eat what you put on the table. At the same time, you have to come to terms with the fact that no one is going to stop doing as they wish to cater to you. Your weight loss is in your hands.

As to not losing, look around the site. You'll find that a stall at three weeks after sleeve surgery is the norm. If surgery practices really aren't letting people know this in advance, they should be slapped.

[Large2Ncharge 51]

If you are the cook, then you can influence what is eaten in the house. Earlier someone said that they learned to eat what was provided to them (as a child). What better way to introduce your family to a gradual change than by bringing in new dishes that are healthier than what they have previously had.

Do you go to a support group? My support group welcomes family members so they can have intimate insight to what the surgery means and what support is required.

Sending positive thoughts and prayers that things get better for you.... you deserve it.

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Edited December 2, 2016 by Large2Ncharge

[Babbs 14,680]

First thing, you're not losing weight because you are in the 3 week stall that we all had and is completely normal, not because of what you may or may not be eating. Honestly, it really doesn't matter what you're eating the first several months post op....the sheer calorie deficit is more than enough to make you lose weight almost automatically. Hope that makes you feel a bit better.

That being said, you need Protein to heal and keep your muscle you're going to be losing with the weight. It also keeps you full and satisfied. If you are eating simple carbs and sugar, it's going to cause cravings. Try to JUST eat Protein right now. If the dinners you're fixing involve a soft protein, nibble on that and nothing else. Keep dinners simple. What's wrong with a meat or fish with a veggie and let the rest of the family have the starch and you skip it? That's how I've cooked since surgery. Making spaghetti? You eat the meat and sauce and the family gets the Pasta. pizza? Eat the toppings. Tacos? Have the ground beef, cheese refried Beans and no tortilla.

See? Keep it simple and it will be easier for you to stick to your plan. Protein is the key! Eat as much of that as you want through out the day!

[LittleLizzieLilliput 919]

I think the solution is the cook the meals for your family that are good for you to nibble on. It will help everyone's health.

I don't see why you are A) Not allowed to cook anything but what they want and B ) Why your health and journey isn't important to your family.

I'm so sorry for you that your family is unintentionally (I hope) being selfish. I know that sounds harsh but it sounds like you are doing all the sacrificing, all the work and without them pitching in. Just start telling them "If you want me to cook our meals than the price of that is healthy meals for the whole family."

For me I've always said "You are more than welcome to cook your own meals, and clean up and shop for the items." lol! It's surprising how quickly people come to their senses. GOOD LUCK!

Also remember you are in the most emotionally fragile times right now, probably for a good 3 months post surgery. Maybe it would be good to let your husband know how you are feeling, how you feel that even though he SAYS it's OK you feel like it isn't, that it's not the truth. Tell him how you are sabotaging your success and your fears. I would hope that he would see that he needs to give you more room to do what you need for you AND your family.

Edited December 2, 2016 by LittleLizzieLilliput

[MissJDVSG 129]

On top of what everyone else has said, I just want to tell you to try to resolve this situation so that it doesn't stress you out too much longer. I know that stress and MS do not play well together.

Sending you love and good vibes!

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[Dknal2 1,065]

I am going through very similar situation minus the cooking...my husband is not supportive of this surgery and nothing about it. I feel very alone but I look to the God who in his name gives me strength to do all things. I was blessed to find this site and I plan to use it til I can't use it no more. I get sad n it hurts but I'm looking at the long term effects of this decision. That's what you should focus on too. Don't be broken and defeated ... we will all get through this and I will

Keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

@Dklna2 thank you

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[shelbys mom 70]

I've tried to stick to diet and did very well I lost 17 pounds after surgery but a3 weeks out and my cravings are out of control, ...working full-time and I still have to cook for husband and kids...they are not on the healthy band wagon so I find myself cheating, a small bite here...there...I'm not losing anymore...frustrated ...my husband says he knows it is hard but if I don't cook he is disappointed ...when I cook it only intensifies cravings...I'm miserable.

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Im starting to cook and freeze food for my husband so I wont have to deal with that type of temptation.

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[giglag1227 2]

Ugh. I have the same fear. I have not had the surgery yet but met with the nutritionist to go over everything yesterday. I asked her how I'm supposed to juggle eating my diet and still cook for my family without torturing them. There is no way in hell I'm buying skim milk. My 10 month old daughter is going to need whole milk soon. So now I have to basically grocery shop double? I can't eat what I'm feeding my family? Um.... not good.

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