Tiny freak out moment

[Alfred Day 90]

So I freaked out a little bit last night.

On Tuesday, I met with my Case Manager, was weighted at 5 pounds below goal weight, and set a date for my surgery on Nov. 30.

Yesterday, I started the process at work of prepping for my absence. Put my medical leave on everyone's calendars, starting setting meetings with my direct reports so they are set for success while I'm gone, started figuring out how I'm getting to and from the hospital (I live by myself, and while my sister is coming to the hospital with me, she doesn't drive so I have to figure out how to get to the hospital, get her back to my apartment from the hospital, and then get me home from the hospital when I'm done with my stay a day or two later since I can't drive myself).

For the first time last night it seemed like it was really happening and I started to get some anxiety for the first time. Until now it's all been academic but last night for the first time it seemed very real. And what do I do when I feel emotions that I'm uncomfortable with. I eat stuff I shouldn't.

I didn't go on a full binge, but I definitely did the late night, head hunger, keep looking in the fridge and picking at the leftovers thing.

How have folks with experience dealt with the tendency to self sabotage? At this point, the only thing to keep me from having the surgery would be if I show up on the day of over my goal weight. I'm trying to be mindful and stay on target, but I still have a few weeks and don't want to screw myself over.

[gowalking 10,790]

Ah...Alfred, Alfred, Alfred...

You just asked the $64,000 question. (that is a reference to an old quiz show BTW)

I'm almost four years out from surgery and have been at or near goal for two and a half years. I still have to be mindful not to self sabotage. I have had to find other ways to cope with stress, anger, boredom, fear, etc. While I don't recommend this to everyone, I needed to get professional guidance to help me find these other coping mechanisms.

I'll suggest staying on this site for support. Going to bariatric support groups, reading books about how other addicts deal with their addiction (and yes..I do believe most of us are food addicts)

All I can say on a positive note is that the longer we are 'normal', the more routine it gets. But..and this is a big but..the temptation is always there and many vets like me have good days and bad days. What I do is stop the slide before it becomes unmanageable. That, I think, is the difference this time. The tool we have been given, allows us to reset before we get too far.

So..good luck, keep us posted and come here as often as possible for help and support.

[Chelle68 27]

I am also 4 years out but I have the opposite problem. I hate eating. I keep a bottle of Water with me at all times. You may change after the surgery. I stress ate all the time before surgery.

[Djmohr 6,965]

I am with @@gowalking on this. It is a constant battle with your brain. I lost 152lbs reaching my goal in March. I have been fighting every single day since with my brain.

As my hunger came back, and my body allows me to eat more I am constantly fighting to keep my weight off. I gain 2 or 3lbs freak out and then reset.

The good news is, my tool is there to help me reset and I must never forget that.

Maintenance is definately the hardest part of this journey and the best thing you can do is learn excellent behaviors now and take full advantage of your honeymoon period because you only get one.

[DeletedMember 715]

What I've found to help me is to do one of two things:

1) Get some exercise. If time permits I might go to the gym, if not I'll just get out and walk the dog. It kills time, is a great stress reliever, and tends to make me less hungry.

2) Eat. Yep, I'll eat. If I am really obsessing about food, I will go eat some; however, I will only eat healthy, low calorie food. Specifically veggies (preferred) or fruit (low calories fruit like berries). If I don't feel like eating either of these things, then I know that I am truly not hungry and refer to #1 :-).

That may not work for everyone (#2 specifically), but it works for me. It satisfies the cravings while fueling my nutrition. And it is EXTREMELY hard to get fat on cucumbers and/or blueberries.

[Diva Taunia 198]

Hi Alfred,

First of all - congrats on your surgery date! I really hope everything goes well for you and that the coordinating part of things goes as smoothly as possible.

Next, you probably already know about this, but as far as transportation goes, is Uber and/or Lyft an option for you? I use them ALL the time and find them incredibly reliable and a great way to travel. Lyft offers better rates but sometimes doesn't have as many drives available. Both offer first-time rider discounts, though. Feel free to private message me if you want any more info on them. I use them all the time.

I'm an 8.5 year gastric bypass post-op and I've got a couple of suggestions that may or may not help with the cravings situation. They worked for me, but some people may think they're a bad idea. It really depends on the individual, I think....but I thought it was at least worth mentioning.

I kept sugar-free popsicles, fudgicles, and Jello in the house. If I absolutely HAD to have something, I knew I could have one of those without completely ruining things. As long as you think you can handle it without binging, that might be a good "save" just in case.

The other thing that worked for me was...watching food. I watched the food Network and cooking shows. It kept my brain occupied in a different way with food and I was distracted so I didn't think about eating because I was watching it instead. I love to cook, so watching shows like Chopped and Barefoot Contessa and can keep me distracted and engaged and out of the fridge. If you have On Demand or something similar with your cable service, you can find those shows on there at any time.

I don't know if those suggestions will help, but I hope they might. Either way, I wish you the best of luck!

[PorkChopExpress 820]

You just discovered what anyone who's had the surgery already knows...the surgery isn't a magic bullet. What has to be fixed isn't your stomach, it's your brain. Making your stomach's capacity smaller is only a tool to help you "get over the hump" when it comes to correcting your behavior. You have to be 100% aware of what you're doing and why, starting now...because you'll definitely need to be in that mindset, post-op.

Take this next couple of weeks as a personal challenge to discipline your mind, because it's going to be even more important after you've had the surgery. Make it a point of pride that YOU have taken control, and it isn't your "obese mind" that is at the wheel, anymore.

[shedo82773 1,236]

Exciting news that you are almost there!! As everyone has said, the mind is our worse enemy. Now if that darn WLS could just fix it too. Now I am 3 years out and I feel like I am one of the lucky ones, as I still have no physical hunger at all. But....with that being said MAN O MIGHTY do I deal with a ton of my mind telling me to EAT!!! I can and some days do forget to eat. I am a big coffee drinker so I add Protein to my coffee. WHAM 30 grams of Protein. Most of the time I don't realize that I need to eat until I feel BAD and I mean BAD TO THE BONE!!! This is why I have GENEPRO unflavored Protein in my coffee. One of the things that help with my mi9nd hunger is Facebook Support groups like BARIATRICPAL. I color, crochet, read anything that keeps my hands busy. So happy that you are almost ready to take your WL journey. Good Luck and keep us posted about your progress.

[ShelterDog64 2,364]

So I freaked out a little bit last night.

On Tuesday, I met with my Case Manager, was weighted at 5 pounds below goal weight, and set a date for my surgery on Nov. 30.

Yesterday, I started the process at work of prepping for my absence. Put my medical leave on everyone's calendars, starting setting meetings with my direct reports so they are set for success while I'm gone, started figuring out how I'm getting to and from the hospital (I live by myself, and while my sister is coming to the hospital with me, she doesn't drive so I have to figure out how to get to the hospital, get her back to my apartment from the hospital, and then get me home from the hospital when I'm done with my stay a day or two later since I can't drive myself).

For the first time last night it seemed like it was really happening and I started to get some anxiety for the first time. Until now it's all been academic but last night for the first time it seemed very real. And what do I do when I feel emotions that I'm uncomfortable with. I eat stuff I shouldn't.

I didn't go on a full binge, but I definitely did the late night, head hunger, keep looking in the fridge and picking at the leftovers thing.

How have folks with experience dealt with the tendency to self sabotage? At this point, the only thing to keep me from having the surgery would be if I show up on the day of over my goal weight. I'm trying to be mindful and stay on target, but I still have a few weeks and don't want to screw myself over.

I think you've got the hard part beat...you KNOW you have the self-sabotage gene and are wary of it. You're already ahead in this game, just by knowing and admitting it to yourself.

I'm only 4.5 mos out, so no expert, but I am a champion "bored eater" and I've had to come up with ways to combat that tendency. First, I get a glass of Water and drink it. I often ate, thinking I was hungry, instead of recognizing that I was actually thirsty. Second, commit to an activity that you can do in lieu of eating. I'm lucky that I have a treadmill in my basement, so after I drink the Water and I still think I need food, I go walk a mile on the treadmill. At that point, I'm near the laundry, so that burns up a bit more time...I try to occupy myself and wait for the urge to pass. If the above fail, I have sugar-free popsicles in my freezer at all times (the tropical flavors are MUCH better than the regular ones). 15 calories for one pop, it's cold and sweet and generally finishes off my cravings. And btw, I have no REAL hunger yet, this is all head hunger. It's a bear sometimes.

The key is being cognizant and then being mindful in your subsequent behavior. And you've got that halfway nailed Good luck with your surgery, I'll be looking for your posts once you're on the Loser's Bench with us!

[Alfred Day 90]

Thanks for the feedback everyone. I'm doing much better now a few days later. I'm practicing mindfulness around my eating and trying to break the pattern of eating to allay my anxiety.

I think I was mostly worried about the possibility that I was gonna go into a spiral and end up over goal weight when I show up on the day of surgery (It's been made clear to me that it would be cancelled in that circumstance). I'm working to continue to lose weight between now and the end of the month and am about 5 pounds below it, but as you all know, five pounds can come back in the blink of an eye. I'm hoping to be 10 - 15 under by the surgery date.

[krissyfattofab 68]

Congrats on being scheduled! I hope to be right behind you. I've been pleased

with how smoothly the kaiser Richmond process has been (assuming you do your part with the weight loss) . Keep us posted!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[The New Kel 1,312]

Make it a point of pride that YOU have taken control, and it isn't your "obese mind" that is at the wheel, anymore.

@@PorkChopExpress

I just wanted to pop in and say I really like this sentence. I hadn't thought of it that way before now I will be visualizing this. I'm a visual person so in my mind I see the obese mind who used to be in control, and the new, real me now taking over. Thanks for this!

OK....carry on

[Wendyfm 494]

Well, I occasionally stress eat, but I weigh myself daily, so if I gain I pay more attention to what I eat until I lose it again.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Jess1971 9]

Alfred,

My surgery date is the 26th. When they called me to give me the date, I honestly was not excited it was more apathetic, or so I thought. You are right up until now it has been academic. Anyway, up until yesterday I did not sleep but 10 to 20 minutes at a time. I was in tears at my appointment yesterday just from lack of sleep. My NP said that even though I am not conciously aware of it, I am obviously anxious about the surgery. So she prescribed me an anxiety medication that is also for insomnia. It worked, yay! I was able to get a full night last night and only woke up once.

I would discuss what is bothering you with your pcp. They may be able to help with the anxiety.

Hope this helped a little, you aren't alone.

Never give up, never surrender

[Victoria Hollenbeck 1]

I know this post is old but I wanted to see how you are doing? Wishing you well!