Treated Differently After Your Surgery?

[Cindi_Augustine 99]

On 10/25/2016 at 10:40 PM, Djmohr said:

I would ask you how YOU feel about your appearance. The reason I ask is because many times we feel a certain way and then read more into comments than what is there.

This is so true. More often than not we are invisible to people because most people are up in their heads. But, because of our own self-dialogue we think everyone is looking and thinking about us. LOL

That being said, when I was obese I do feel I was treated differently. I think the biggest difference I notice is at work. As an optician I am dealing with customers everyday. In the past I often felt disrespected by customers and co-workers. As though my expertise was in doubt because of my weight. Customers would defer to my thinner colleagues, and only listen to them, even though we said the same things.

It feels very different now. And so often my customers comment on how stylish I am saying I MUST know what I'm talking about when I help them choose eyeglasses. I have always tried to dress well, but we know how that goes when you're plus-sized.

Yes, appearance matters, even if we wish it didn't. First impressions are strong and usually based on physical attributes. We've all based an opinion on a stranger because of these superficial things, like hairlines, and the thickness of someone's lips, or a scar...things that mean nothing.

As a life coach I'm very aware of this. I'm even writing a book on how to create the appearance you want in order to be treated how you want to be treated. It sounds shallow but my own experience has been proof to me.

[ChaosUnlimited 559]

My weight has yo-yo'ed all my life. I have been somewhat thin and also very heavy. There were definitely differences in how others treated me when I was smaller versus being heavy. The most hurtful things happened while I was overweight, like comments made by people I considered my friends, and even my own family. Some things will stick in your head and you beat yourself up over and over remembering them. I won't miss that.

I haven't had surgery yet, but I did lose almost 90 lbs several years ago by doing weight watchers, high impact exercise, and occasionally taking Phentermine. People at work always wanted to know what I was doing to lose weight and they were generally supportive. But there were times when there would be cake or donuts brought in, and when I said no thanks, there were certain people who would say things like "Oh, come on, you can have one little piece of cake, it won't kill you." As long as I had my own Snacks and food I prepared I didn't have any issues, but if I was hungry and without my own snacks it was easier to feel deprived and give in under pressure.