My issue or is it his (the hubby)

[Jen.R 4]

Along with all the other anxiety ridden things that comes along with weight loss surgery, I'm now trying to ignore the wayward doings of my husband. Not only is he bringing in zebra cakes, nutty buddy bars and bags of chips, but he then says" I'm getting Chinese on the way home, you want something?" As I say no I'll eat something from home, he says " oh I see how you are". Really? I'm doing good not eating all that crap and I'm actually having a difficult time even wanting to eat. All he does is eat out and won't eat the things I'm making. I make tuna patties, refried Beans with cheese, scrambled eggs and cream of wheat, I've been looking up recipes for roasted veggies, ways to make Pizza Crust from cauliflower etc. A lot of it looks really good. I can't actually eat some of it for a little bit but I'm trying to find healthy menu items. He's not even interested really. I'm hoping it will change some as we get further down the road. Maybe he'll try a few things and eat them also. Who knows.

Jennifer

[Pescador 1,374]

His problem. But my hubby wouldn't come home to refried Beans and cream of wheat either LOL. You can sauté great veggies and a great hamburger patty for him, or a steak which takes just minutes. Or add him a microwaved baked potato. That is if he comes home without eating. Til then, feed yourself! Good luck!!!

[KristenLe 5,979]

Did he do these kind of things before or did he just start eating snack cakes, chips, etc.? If he's always done this but it's only bothering you now - I'd say it's your issue. If he's doing it only since surgery- then he's being a jerk. I know I'll be eating different from my SO for several weeks at least. I had surgery- he didn't and I don't expect him to change his eating habits because I am obese and needed WLS. If he were to try and sabotage me - it's going to get ugly.

[Christinamo7 4,041]

well. I wish he would be respectful enough to understand that you do not want the junk - but perhaps he offers out of some warped consideration. I do not know.

However, you are the one who had surgery not him. It is not appropriate to expect his food choices to change. my husband still sits on the couch with a bag of potato chips. I just ask that he put them on the other side of him rather than between us. You will always have people around eating the wrong things. you have to find your own way to want healthy options and amounts.

[Icantbelieveit 955]

I dont get upset. There will always be food around that you wont be able.to have.

Chinese? Sure pick me up sweet and sour Soup or egg drop. ☺

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[Pescador 1,374]

In all seriousness, keep your eye on the prize, and that is your health and weight loss. I think he will come around. For sure he will gain weight.

[jenjenp 63]

I eat simple food and cook real food for my husband like I did presurgery. . He will drink Coca-Cola and eat shrimp scampi. I will eat tuna salad. Or yogurt. My problem. But he doesn't ask if I want chocolate or crap if he buys it. Stay strong. I'm 5 weeks out and have no desire to eat that stuff. I hope it's always this easy to resist.

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[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

tuna patties, refried Beans with cheese, scrambled eggs and cream of wheat,

Do you see that menu? It's curious that he hasn't moved out. I've had surgery and I wouldn't touch something called a "tuna patty." So, to answer your question in what may be the language of the Chinese menu he orders from, it's one from Column A and one from Column B.

[Jen.R 4]

Thanks to all of you for your insite....I do realize he will eat what he wants, and the stuff being in the house doesn't really bother me, it's the snide remarks because I'm not choosing to eat the crap he's eating that gets me. I've told him, we can eat together just different things, but he still acts snarky about it. Only 4 weeks in now, we'll see if it gets better.

Jennifer

[Anna Nim 196]

It is okay if you both eat different things, just eat at the same time at the table?

Like the other said, have him get you Soup. You might only have a few spoons, but then he feels that he 'brought you home dinner'.

Remember, to most married men, YOU are his world and when you go or change, they feel terribly alone and afraid. That is likely driving the snide remarks (if this is new behavior)

Let him know (again) WHY you HAVE to eat the way you do and how HARD it is.

I would expect as you can eat a wider variety of foods, he will get on board more.

My exbf years ago didn't understand why I could not have "just one" cookie or whatever, until I explained to his cocaine-dealing self (hence why he is a EX), would he be able to just take a 'little line of coke' and leave the rest..then he got it.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Your issue is not his and his is not yours.. You do you and work towards better health. You can't control what he does, you can only work towards YOUR goals. Period.

[Lema 236]

Maybe that was something the two of you bonded over through out the years and now he feels abandoned..?? How is his health??

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[bitingcat 87]

Newly post-op, but I told my husband I can't do a liquid or puréed diet *and* be around delicious smelling forbidden food. So he and the kids are working out meal plans they can cook together, or the kids can make themselves. Of course he also has weight to lose (no surgery); agreed we needed a family diet overhaul; and has had six months to get used to the low carb, high Protein stuff I've been cooking and trying to adapt to their tastes. He's mostly stopped bringing home junk food; part of that's to keep it from being snarffed down by ravenous teens and the other half is to keep me from injuring myself or the person who brought that stuff home . But he knew I had a lot of food allergies from the beginning, so he's used to me not eating the food he wants. Hopefully when I hit solids, we can go back to pick-and-choose Mexi bowls (separate Beans, rice, meat, etc.,) or Mediterranean platter (hummus, ground lamb patties, roasted cauliflower, etc.,) and finds ways to eat together as a family again. Gotta get back to my bone broth...

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[Ragdollorchid 128]

Thanks to all of you for your insite....I do realize he will eat what he wants, and the stuff being in the house doesn't really bother me, it's the snide remarks because I'm not choosing to eat the crap he's eating that gets me. I've told him, we can eat together just different things, but he still acts snarky about it. Only 4 weeks in now, we'll see if it gets better.

Jennifer

When I started my preop liquid diet my partner started feeling "lonely." A lot of our time spent together after work was eating out. Change is scarier to some people than others. Just hang in there and stick to your goals.

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[Lizardlady 90]

Thanks to all of you for your insite....I do realize he will eat what he wants, and the stuff being in the house doesn't really bother me, it's the snide remarks because I'm not choosing to eat the crap he's eating that gets me. I've told him, we can eat together just different things, but he still acts snarky about it. Only 4 weeks in now, we'll see if it gets better.

Jennifer

My fiance is a thin guy and really he can eat whatever he wants. I didn't do this surgery to make him change his lifestyle, I did it for my own. I just have to learn to respect that and he has to learn to respect what I am able to eat. If I say "no, we're not eating that crap tonight" then no.... we are not eating that crap tonight! There are times on occasion where I let my boys (fiance and son) have a pizza (they are pizza crazy) and I'll eat the toppings of one slice or find something else on the menu that is agreeable. If my boys want to go out and grab something then that's fine, but the menu HAS to have something edible for me as well. Most of the time it ends up being a salad with some chicken in it and they get pizza/burgers which honestly doesn't bother me anymore although, it definitely would have pre-surgery! I really feel in situations like that, there has to be some give because I personally couldn't stand eating tuna and eggs every day for the rest of my life either and I'm the one that actually had the surgery done! This is just MY opinion of course and I'm sure not everyone will agree.

Also, keep in mind, If your relationship has been long then he has probably gotten used to asking you if you want him to pick something up. Sudden change, especially change that he doesn't want to make himself, can be very difficult to get used to. Pre-surgery I would have had a royal fit if he would have gotten himself something to eat and didn't ask me if I wanted anything.