Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Anyone have spouse leave? 1 week post op.



Recommended Posts

Hi all, I really like reading on hear the things that have helped others succeed because what I am after. I want better for my life. I know I didn't get enough fluids in last two days my spouse of 4 years just left me on Friday (due to hidden drug issue & pushing him to change life with group, but he doesn't want to give up drug & his family does drugs too so family bonding). He had quit for almost 2 years but starting again when went back to school to better myself behind back. I suspected but know how sometimes don't want to deal with right away. I am determined to do what is best for me & my life & will graduate college in December. Working on last class now. I don't have any desire to not stick to dr plan but didn't get in fluids I should have friday & Saturday -getting back on track today & going to church too today for support. I am thinking I will be ok as long as make sure get close or hit 64 oz starting today-on. Just concerned cause know didn't get enough fluids last two days & don't know if should drink more then 64 oz today if can & body wants more Water? I know I will be ok. I have awesome family, close friends & church friends that are very supportive.

Funny -my parents coming down to spend time after church & my mom said will bring a healthy salad & chicken for lunch if sounds good to you. I laughed, had to remind her on full liquids but they could have.

They are still in shock too so are friends cause they love my husband too so are all my close friends & church friends that were trying to help him. All are praying for both & all know harder for me cause 1 wk post-op tomorrow but I know I can succeed cause this is for me & what I want to do.

He was best husband when wasn't high. Just praying God helps change him to have a better life drug-related even without me. His mom was one got him started on smoking pot at 11 as a coping skill when had problem & taught all kids that. She takes every drug can get hands on today. It more important to him to be able to get high with family then be with me. Going to support group again starting this Wednesday to help me through emotional stuff & strengthen myself. Has anyone else had spouse leave 1 week post-op & what helped them stay on track through it all?

Thanks -sorry so long. I am still veryblessed in life with or without my husband.

Sent from my SM-S902L using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just sending you a virtual hug and hope you gain support from all who offer it. *Hug*

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Saying a prayer for you. Just get back on track and move forward - you had all those IV fluids so I'd guess you're ok for now.

I did not have my spouse leave but my dad died unexpectedly at around 4 months post op and it was a challenge to drink enough or get Protein for a little while so I do understand how the shock and changes can set you down for a minute.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Saying a prayer for you. Just get back on track and move forward - you had all those IV fluids so I'd guess you're ok for now.

I did not have my spouse leave but my dad died unexpectedly at around 4 months post op and it was a challenge to drink enough or get Protein for a little while so I do understand how the shock and changes can set you down for a minute.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Thanks Christinamo7. Sorry about your dad too & thanks for prayers. You are right forgot about IV fluids. Yes I am getting back on track starting today & nice to know had a hard time too getting in Protein drinks & Water for a bit due to emotions. I plan on getting them in today & forward. Thanks again for reaponse.

Sent from my SM-S902L using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So sorry that your new life started with a loss. At least you now get to concentrate fully on yourself and it sounds like you have an amazing support system.

Take care and all the best to you!

Nilla

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry for your losses ladies. My prayers are with you both. @@veryblessed honey run. Run while you have the strength. This guy doesn't love himself please don't let him drang you down with him. Sometimes we let people (men) in too deep too fast. I did but God saw me out of a 12 year marriage to a man I'm pretty sure never loved me truly. When God opened my eyes I ran so fast his head was spinning. Lol! He tries to say he is sorry because his congence is eating him up now. I told him I forgave him a long time ago and what he is going through is between him and God. I have a new guy after years of being along just to figure out what I did wrong in that relationship. It's not perfect but nothing ever is. We get along, pray together, like the same things and he loves me. You need to find someone that will love you, pick you over drugs, and sometimes over family.

Good luck, you're in my prayers.

Sent from my VS985 4G using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hugs thoughts and prayers. I am having surgery 10-3. But I understand my ex pretty much abandoned me after I had back surgery in 07. 2 months after we married that almost left me paralyzed at the time, there was no guarantee. His mom was my rock through that journey. We stayed married but rocky for 2 years then separated for 5. You got this. It will all be alright

Sent from my 5054N using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry for your losses ladies. My prayers are with you both. @@veryblessed honey run. Run while you have the strength. This guy doesn't love himself please don't let him drang you down with him. Sometimes we let people (men) in too deep too fast. I did but God saw me out of a 12 year marriage to a man I'm pretty sure never loved me truly. When God opened my eyes I ran so fast his head was spinning. Lol! He tries to say he is sorry because his congence is eating him up now. I told him I forgave him a long time ago and what he is going through is between him and God. I have a new guy after years of being along just to figure out what I did wrong in that relationship. It's not perfect but nothing ever is. We get along, pray together, like the same things and he loves me. You need to find someone that will love you, pick you over drugs, and sometimes over family.

Good luck, you're in my prayers.

Sent from my VS985 4G using the BariatricPal App

Thanks lelewatson. You are right. I just want to concentrate on myself. I am proud of myself for having surgery to be healthier.

Sent from my SM-S902L using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hugs thoughts and prayers. I am having surgery 10-3. But I understand my ex pretty much abandoned me after I had back surgery in 07. 2 months after we married that almost left me paralyzed at the time, there was no guarantee. His mom was my rock through that journey. We stayed married but rocky for 2 years then separated for 5. You got this. It will all be alright

Sent from my 5054N using the BariatricPal App

Thanks Mindyme. Helps knowing you got through that with support from others. Thanks for sharing & prayers.

Sent from my SM-S902L using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Stay focused on you and be strong. The best thing you can do for yourself and your husband is to lead by example. If and when he wants to get healthy and sober, he will have your example of what strength looks like. Good luck and my prayers are with you!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Prayers coming your way and hugs, hugs, hugs!! You are doing a great job trying to maintain a proper perspective. My husband and I are having serious issues and I'm only two weeks post op. It's hard. It hurts, but we will get through this!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry for your losses ladies. My prayers are with you both. @@veryblessed honey run. Run while you have the strength. This guy doesn't love himself please don't let him drang you down with him. Sometimes we let people (men) in too deep too fast. I did but God saw me out of a 12 year marriage to a man I'm pretty sure never loved me truly. When God opened my eyes I ran so fast his head was spinning. Lol! He tries to say he is sorry because his congence is eating him up now. I told him I forgave him a long time ago and what he is going through is between him and God. I have a new guy after years of being along just to figure out what I did wrong in that relationship. It's not perfect but nothing ever is. We get along, pray together, like the same things and he loves me. You need to find someone that will love you, pick you over drugs, and sometimes over family.

Good luck, you're in my prayers.

Sent from my VS985 4G using the BariatricPal App

Thanks lelewatson. So glad to hear you have better guy too.

Sent from my SM-S902L using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×