LBL looming & not sure I really know what I am getting into - need ADVICE

[Daisee68 2,493]

Some days I hate this app.... I just typed a LONG message and suddenly computer blipped and it is gone. Dang!!! Let's see if I can remember it all....

I have had my LBL scheduled for some time and now that it is only 19 days away, I am starting to panic. My dr (Dr. Peter Fisher in San Antonio) includes Extended Tummy Tuck, Butt Lift and Outer Thigh Lift in a LBL. I will also be having Arm Lift at the same time. This is out of town (about 5 hours from home) so I am staying in an extended stay hotel for at least 2 weeks post-op. My mom will be with me while I am in the hospital (2 nights) and then a friend is coming for a couple of days and then I am on my own until the weekend when another friend will join me for a couple of days, but I am starting to get concerned that is not enough. FYI, I am not a whimp. I was on my own after 2 days after my RNY, after a hysterectomy and after 4 shoulder surgeries and 3 kidney stone lithotripsies. So it isn't necessarily the "alone" part that concerns me, but more what it is that I am asking my mom and friend to do (which I don't have a CLUE about). I rented a lift chair/recliner and taking a walker and toilet seat riser and will be there a few days before surgery for pre-op and getting groceries, etc. I called a Home Health care nurse the other day whom I can hire but she said her experience with Dr. Fisher's patients is they just need help for about 5 days post-op (including the hospital stay) and then I am fine to be on my own. But she said "as long as your friends and family are willing to do what they need to do". I don't know what that means! I don't mind (necessarily) my mom seeing some of my lady bits (if that is something that is going to happen) but not so sure about my friend. This is a very good friend mind you. (I was in the delivery room with her when she gave birth to her first child), but I work with her now and I am not sure I want her seeing my lady bits! I sort of thought I would just need her there in the hotel room to you know cook something or be there when I showered in case I fell or something, but am I wrong? I have tried to read about expectations on RealSelf and I have just gotten lost so hoping folks here who have been through it can give me realistic expectations. What will my friend need to be doing? Emptying drains she seems to be cool with. Is there more than that?

Additionally, I was planning to drive myself home (5 + hours) from San Antonio on Day 15 - assuming dr releases me. I can get someone to fly down to drive me home, but I was hoping not to have to do that. And being new to my job (only 2 months) I was trying to kind of lay low and just be out of touch Thursday (surgery day) and Friday and then work remotely after that. And then hoping to go back to work on Day 18 post-op. Is all this unrealistic?

So what I am wanting to know is:

1) What will I need my friend to do those first few days out of the hospital? Should I just call Home Health care instead?

2) Is working remotely 5 days post-op unrealistic? Is returning to work 19 days post-op (following a 1 hour drive each way) realistic? (I took 3 1/2 weeks off after RNY and needed every bit of that.)

3) Is there anyway I can drive myself home (5 + hours) at 15 days post-op? I know I have to stop and get out of the car every hour or so to move my legs. Should I plan on stopping somewhere half-way for the night and resting and then come on home?

Any ideas you can give me are greatly appreciated! Or even point me to somewhere to read what to expect post-op care wise? I feel suddenly very in over my head...

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

Daisee, what I'm about to say isn't gospel, as I haven't had reconstructive surgery. What follows is simply bits (we'll come back to that in a moment) that I recall a friend who had what you've signed on for a number of years ago. Also some of what I recall from more routine surgery.

The lady bits. Your friend has them, too, and she knows they're something you have in common. You were present at her lady bits festival and I'll bet that, at the time, she didn't give a rat's asss who might see them. Sometimes they are merely body parts, remember? If it will make a difference, let her know ahead of time that you may need help with your down there.

That said, if you do think you won't get past the discomfort, then make arrangements with the home care nurse. She's also adept at something else you'll need and which your mother and friends may not be: Helping a patient to rise from a seat when the parts that move the rising muscles and parts are screaming. It's that sort-of linking arms maneuver?

Now that I think of it, it's probably best to have the nurse for the five days because her familiarity with the whole routine will ease your mind. (I'm sorry to be suggesting options. It wasn't my intention, especially since you want to make your decisions and get everyone lined up.) I think I'd opt for the professional and have one personal person around for extra company and help.

Ask at the surgeon's office about what aftercare involves and what to expect when you're awakened from surgery. They may also put you in touch with a patient or two who've had the same procedures simultaneously. You'd be able to get a good idea of what to expect. YouTube probably has lots of videos by women who've done the procedures, too.

After two weeks you may not want to drive home on your own. Even if you're past the worst and have decent movement, it probably would be extremely tiring -- far more than a five-hour drive is under the best circumstances.

I'm in the camp where I don't like surgical surprises. Even if something is going to be dreadful, I want to know ahead of time. It seems to lessen the crappiness and doesn't leave me feeling duped..

Sorry to have rambled around. I'm on your side.

[Daisee68 2,493]

@@WLSResources/ClothingExch - Thank you! I didn't see it as rambling at all (and as if mine wasn't).... I think you are right about the home health care nurse and I had every intention of hiring her when I called the other day, so I was a bit surprised when she suggested I might not need her. I mean she gave me her cell number and said to call her if I needed anything, but I think I would feel better if I had her come at least Monday and Tuesday (should be home from the hospital on Sunday afternoon). I feel better with a PLAN!

And you are right about my friend. She has 2 daughters and we vacation together in Mexico every year (for the last 10 years), and she has visited me in the hospital after my hysterectomy and my RNY, so I think she is pretty comfortable with all those things. (Maybe it is just me that wouldn't be comfortable doing it for others so I am projecting that.) Honestly I don't really like my mom or sister or even a nurse helping with those things but you gotta do what you gotta do....

Anyway, I really appreciate your input. Mostly I just needed to ramble with someone else about it!!! Always appreciate your great words - full of kindness and wisdom!!

[OzRoo 1,492]

Dear @@Daisee68,

I really don't know much re this type of surgery.

I just wanted to say Best of Luck, may you get a Fantastic result and a smooth recovery!

I'll be thinking of you.

WLSResources gave a good reply with good suggestions.

There are few members here who had this done. Hope they will offer their experiences and support to you.

Best Wishes to you.

[Daisee68 2,493]

Thank you @ for your kind words! I am excited and nervous! I won't be posting pictures as some brave souls do.... That kind of thing really makes me nervous but I am thankful for those that have!

I am going to do a search for LBL here and see what I can turn up!

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

I was a bit surprised when she suggested I might not need her. ..... I feel better with a PLAN!

Not the speculating has a point, but she may have meant because you have people who'll be able to help out.

Thank you for the compliment. You made my day.

There are few members here who had this done. Hope they will offer their experiences and support to you.

They will.

[OzRoo 1,492]

Good luck for the "mining expedition" and happy digging @@Daisee68

xxxxx

[jess9395 5,448]

I had something similar--arms, breast lift and Tummy Tuck at the same time.

As far as what needs to be done--drains and the biggie, but I could handle my own really. Getting in and out of compression garments is another. Possibly washing those in the sink too so you can have a clean fresh set since you will be wearing them 24-7. Supervising you in the shower just in case... the heat and standing can cause some people to pass out. Those kinds of things... you have a lot in place to help like the toilet seat and lift chair so you may not need up and down help there, but you might.

I can't really speak to your timelines.... because you say you needed four weeks to recover from WLS. I recovered much faster. I was back to most normal activities in a week.

So.... my timeline with plastics recovery may be better than yours. BUT I want to warn you that when you have that much surgery done... the tummy tuck is the worst of it, but you have what I did in that both upper body and Lower body were out of commission... and that is TOUGH. For me it was twice has hard, easily, as WLS recovery. You feel like you've been hit by a truck and the swelling and muscle pain and just the inability to use either your arms to push/pull or your abs to stabilize/stand up is really a lot of difficulty.

I couldn't have worked remotely that soon out. And that long a drive at two weeks? I couldn't have.

I don't mean to scare you, but it's major surgery! Take it easy on yourself and let yourself recover. Don't push too hard.

[chycky 671]

Well others who have had will share but do you follow clusie L on YouTube? She just had a couple of plastic procedures and specifically with arms discussed challenges and accommodations with limited movement. I find her enteraing and inspiring.

[Pescador 1,374]

Good luck! Sounds like you have a great plan, and my only thought is that you have planned so much, I am wondering if you could have been put in a rehab facility a bit easier? Keep us posted.

[Daisee68 2,493]

Thanks all! I did give in and agree to let someone fly down and drive me home. I think that was making me (and my loved ones) the most nervous. ????

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