Post op regrets topics - not popular

[GinaCampbell 434]

I read some interesting comments today and I wanted to make something really clear.

Out of all these people around the globe that are on this website, there are going to be some of us that have found post op, that this surgery was the wrong decision.

If you want this website to be honest and truthful, a source of good solid information for people considering surgery and a source of support for people post op, then everyone's experiences should be welcome.

The reason's I think this surgery was wrong for me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my post op complications!

And as for comments about people who regret their surgeries and have complications because:

• "houses were dirty"

• "they didn't follow instructions"

• "they haven't seen the great results yet"

• "they are just negative people and negative people are more vocal

So, just let me tell you this, some of us simply made a mistake.

We thought this was a good plan, we took advice, did our research, attended the seminars and weigh ins (in my case, two years attending).

We met our surgeons, we discussed our pre existing conditions, we spoke to our family and friends.

I myself have a counsellor, did CBT counselling for the entire two years pre op and am deemed emotionally and mentally sound. (just as an aside, my NHS CBT counsellor did not agree with this surgery).

I checked with my pain mgt team about the efficacy of my medications post op.

And it was still a mistake!

And so what?

It happens. And people like me should be able to explain these things without others trying to negate our admission of this mistake by offering excuses as to why we are unhappy with our decision.

I could have floated onto a cloud, had magical unicorns lick away my stomach, and woke up in paradise fully healed, sipping a cocktail in the sun and I would still tell you that this was a mistake for ME. And for many of my friends.

It doesn't matter how many years post op I get, I will consider this a mistake.

My house is not dirty, I followed instructions to the letter, I consider my bariatric discharge booklet my life guideline and I never variate.

I keep in touch with anyone and everyone in my medical care stream that might be helpful.

And complications happened. And yes, to many of us in our bariatric system. But again, it was not the complications that disturb us.

We all have different reasons for regretting it.

Most of us feel that we were misinformed, which doesn't help. My neighbour regrets her bypass because of her now permanent diarrhea and no improvement in her diabetes. She tells me that she has to think about food most of the day just to keep herself fed (choosing the right foods so as not to vomit), and she could have simply dieted harder if she had known she would have to think of food all day. She is three years post op and she still struggles with dehydration. Her hair never grew back after the initial drop out.

I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds.

I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.

I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.

I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.

I want to drink beverages with my meals.

I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).

I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating.

I want my medications to work again in the way they did pre op to control my fibromyalgia symptoms.

And I have definitely seen weightloss results. As I was lying there starving to death for seven weeks, I have lost all but 20lbs of my expected and required excess weight to satisfy my healthcare team. ( I am still only getting around 500 cals a day in, but have constant diarrhea so who knows how much stays in).

I now look "normal" except for the grey pallor in my skin and the nappy I now have to wear because of fecal incontinence (my IBS-d was totally controlled before surgery).

I am six dress sizes smaller but can only leave my house if I don't eat anything and wear adult protection in case of Water causing an "accident". Or in case I become faint from lack of food and fall.

So I do actually feel that had I read a forum entry like this, I might have thought twice.

And that's a good thing. If people are scared, that's okay. Let them hear more than just "don't worry, I was fine, you will be too!" Because maybe they won't!

So this is not about complications, it's about people.

One size does not fit all. Some of us should have simply accepted our weight, or worked harder to diet it off. Had I taken in only 300 to 500 calories a day for 9 weeks pre op, I would have lost all this weight anyway.

If you are happy, well done! If you are dead set on going ahead, ignore this. If you are a high BMI person (think 600lb life), God bless you, this may save your life, if you are a food addict, I feel your pain.

You will still have to diet post op! You will still have to exercise.

If you are undecided, then simply take a breath, think about it, really examine your food issues. Could you do more to lose weight? Could you move a bit more and eat a bit less?

Anyway, I am where I am and I plan to make the best of what I have left. And I intend to keep making sure that pre op people have a good think and post op people like me have someone they can talk to.

Thanks to everyone who is supporting me.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Christinamo7 4,041]

you are certainly welcome to express all of this on an open internet forum.

but others, even if they incorrectly assess your situation, are equally entitled to their own opinions and just as welcome as you are to express them.

I am sorry you have had a hard time of it. For me, this surgery has given me back my life and I am thankful.

[edelc 16]

This forum needs to be open to everyone not just the book perfect people. I struggle each day also but am winning the battle slowly but surely. I also have IBD so i understand completely about that aspect of your struggle! Fingers crossed it gets easier for us both. I'm only a few weeks ahead of you!

Sent from my SM-G930F using the BariatricPal App

[Sophie74656 1,572]

Some thoughts...one is about thinking about food all the time. This is a reality of life for many people, especially those that are overweight. I always thought about food, and I still always think about food a year out. I still think about planning my meals out and if I'm going somewhere I plan what I can throw in my bag, I think about making myself drink Water and I think about getting all my Protein in. Even if you did not have surgery, if you don't think about food you won't always make the best decisions. Sticking to a diet involves thinking about food.

As far as missing eating fast. Well surgery or not you're not supposed to eat fast. Eating fast is one of the main factors in weight gain.

When you say that you did your research and then say that you don't want to to think about your meals, you want to eat quickly, you want to have large meals...it seems contradictory. If you did your research you would have known about these things

I read some interesting comments today and I wanted to make something really clear.

Out of all these people around the globe that are on this website, there are going to be some of us that have found post op, that this surgery was the wrong decision.

If you want this website to be honest and truthful, a source of good solid information for people considering surgery and a source of support for people post op, then everyone's experiences should be welcome.

The reason's I think this surgery was wrong for me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my post op complications!

And as for comments about people who regret their surgeries and have complications because:

• "houses were dirty"
• "they didn't follow instructions"
• "they haven't seen the great results yet"
• "they are just negative people and negative people are more vocal

So, just let me tell you this, some of us simply made a mistake.

We thought this was a good plan, we took advice, did our research, attended the seminars and weigh ins (in my case, two years attending).

We met our surgeons, we discussed our pre existing conditions, we spoke to our family and friends.

I myself have a counsellor, did CBT counselling for the entire two years pre op and am deemed emotionally and mentally sound. (just as an aside, my NHS CBT counsellor did not agree with this surgery).

I checked with my pain mgt team about the efficacy of my medications post op.

And it was still a mistake!

And so what?

It happens. And people like me should be able to explain these things without others trying to negate our admission of this mistake by offering excuses as to why we are unhappy with our decision.

I could have floated onto a cloud, had magical unicorns lick away my stomach, and woke up in paradise fully healed, sipping a cocktail in the sun and I would still tell you that this was a mistake for ME. And for many of my friends.

It doesn't matter how many years post op I get, I will consider this a mistake.

My house is not dirty, I followed instructions to the letter, I consider my bariatric discharge booklet my life guideline and I never variate.

I keep in touch with anyone and everyone in my medical care stream that might be helpful.

And complications happened. And yes, to many of us in our bariatric system. But again, it was not the complications that disturb us.

We all have different reasons for regretting it.

Most of us feel that we were misinformed, which doesn't help. My neighbour regrets her bypass because of her now permanent diarrhea and no improvement in her diabetes. She tells me that she has to think about food most of the day just to keep herself fed (choosing the right foods so as not to vomit), and she could have simply dieted harder if she had known she would have to think of food all day. She is three years post op and she still struggles with dehydration. Her hair never grew back after the initial drop out.

I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds.

I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.

I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.

I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.

I want to drink beverages with my meals.

I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).

I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating.

I want my medications to work again in the way they did pre op to control my fibromyalgia symptoms.

And I have definitely seen weightloss results. As I was lying there starving to death for seven weeks, I have lost all but 20lbs of my expected and required excess weight to satisfy my healthcare team. ( I am still only getting around 500 cals a day in, but have constant diarrhea so who knows how much stays in).

I now look "normal" except for the grey pallor in my skin and the nappy I now have to wear because of fecal incontinence (my IBS-d was totally controlled before surgery).

I am six dress sizes smaller but can only leave my house if I don't eat anything and wear adult protection in case of Water causing an "accident". Or in case I become faint from lack of food and fall.

So I do actually feel that had I read a forum entry like this, I might have thought twice.

And that's a good thing. If people are scared, that's okay. Let them hear more than just "don't worry, I was fine, you will be too!" Because maybe they won't!

So this is not about complications, it's about people.

One size does not fit all. Some of us should have simply accepted our weight, or worked harder to diet it off. Had I taken in only 300 to 500 calories a day for 9 weeks pre op, I would have lost all this weight anyway.

If you are happy, well done! If you are dead set on going ahead, ignore this. If you are a high BMI person (think 600lb life), God bless you, this may save your life, if you are a food addict, I feel your pain.

You will still have to diet post op! You will still have to exercise.

If you are undecided, then simply take a breath, think about it, really examine your food issues. Could you do more to lose weight? Could you move a bit more and eat a bit less?

Anyway, I am where I am and I plan to make the best of what I have left. And I intend to keep making sure that pre op people have a good think and post op people like me have someone they can talk to.

Thanks to everyone who is supporting me.





Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Edited August 3, 2016 by Sophie74656

[theantichick 2,204]

I absolutely agree that people need to hear the stories of people who have complications. The first place I came on this board after reading some of the FAQ posts was the complications board. I wanted to know what the worst case outcome potentially was, and get a feel for the types of complications people have, and if there are things I could learn about those complications that might reduce my risks. I applaud you for speaking out. If I were having the surgery with NHS, I would know some more things to ask and look for with the team before committing, only because you are sharing your experience.

I have said that people need to keep in mind that these stories are not representative of the vast majority of people who have the surgery, and that negative experiences are in a higher concentration in an online forum, because it's the nature of people to speak up only if they need support or have a problem. This is NOT intended in any way to say that you shouldn't share your experience, or that your complications need to be minimized. It is only to remind people that may be worried about complications that the incidence is much lower than it may appear reading through an internet support board.

[pr_pitbullgrl 1,039]

i posted a regret post around 3 months out as well. even 6 months out i think i posted one. now - 10 months out. i'm golden. not just my weight/size but also how and what i can eat is all good now.

all i'm saying is, it takes time. so i hope, for your sake, that is the case as well. but you're right. it ISN'T the right decision for everyone. But you are still very early on in your recovery. hoping for the best for you. xo

[silverwhitemoon 13]

I read some interesting comments today and I wanted to make something really clear.

Out of all these people around the globe that are on this website, there are going to be some of us that have found post op, that this surgery was the wrong decision.

If you want this website to be honest and truthful, a source of good solid information for people considering surgery and a source of support for people post op, then everyone's experiences should be welcome.

The reason's I think this surgery was wrong for me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my post op complications!

And as for comments about people who regret their surgeries and have complications because:

• "houses were dirty"

• "they didn't follow instructions"

• "they haven't seen the great results yet"

• "they are just negative people and negative people are more vocal

So, just let me tell you this, some of us simply made a mistake.

We thought this was a good plan, we took advice, did our research, attended the seminars and weigh ins (in my case, two years attending).

We met our surgeons, we discussed our pre existing conditions, we spoke to our family and friends.

I myself have a counsellor, did CBT counselling for the entire two years pre op and am deemed emotionally and mentally sound. (just as an aside, my NHS CBT counsellor did not agree with this surgery).

I checked with my pain mgt team about the efficacy of my medications post op.

And it was still a mistake!

And so what?

It happens. And people like me should be able to explain these things without others trying to negate our admission of this mistake by offering excuses as to why we are unhappy with our decision.

I could have floated onto a cloud, had magical unicorns lick away my stomach, and woke up in paradise fully healed, sipping a cocktail in the sun and I would still tell you that this was a mistake for ME. And for many of my friends.

It doesn't matter how many years post op I get, I will consider this a mistake.

My house is not dirty, I followed instructions to the letter, I consider my bariatric discharge booklet my life guideline and I never variate.

I keep in touch with anyone and everyone in my medical care stream that might be helpful.

And complications happened. And yes, to many of us in our bariatric system. But again, it was not the complications that disturb us.

We all have different reasons for regretting it.

Most of us feel that we were misinformed, which doesn't help. My neighbour regrets her bypass because of her now permanent diarrhea and no improvement in her diabetes. She tells me that she has to think about food most of the day just to keep herself fed (choosing the right foods so as not to vomit), and she could have simply dieted harder if she had known she would have to think of food all day. She is three years post op and she still struggles with dehydration. Her hair never grew back after the initial drop out.

I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds.

I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.

I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.

I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.

I want to drink beverages with my meals.

I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).

I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating.

I want my medications to work again in the way they did pre op to control my fibromyalgia symptoms.

And I have definitely seen weightloss results. As I was lying there starving to death for seven weeks, I have lost all but 20lbs of my expected and required excess weight to satisfy my healthcare team. ( I am still only getting around 500 cals a day in, but have constant diarrhea so who knows how much stays in).

I now look "normal" except for the grey pallor in my skin and the nappy I now have to wear because of fecal incontinence (my IBS-d was totally controlled before surgery).

I am six dress sizes smaller but can only leave my house if I don't eat anything and wear adult protection in case of Water causing an "accident". Or in case I become faint from lack of food and fall.

So I do actually feel that had I read a forum entry like this, I might have thought twice.

And that's a good thing. If people are scared, that's okay. Let them hear more than just "don't worry, I was fine, you will be too!" Because maybe they won't!

So this is not about complications, it's about people.

One size does not fit all. Some of us should have simply accepted our weight, or worked harder to diet it off. Had I taken in only 300 to 500 calories a day for 9 weeks pre op, I would have lost all this weight anyway.

If you are happy, well done! If you are dead set on going ahead, ignore this. If you are a high BMI person (think 600lb life), God bless you, this may save your life, if you are a food addict, I feel your pain.

You will still have to diet post op! You will still have to exercise.

If you are undecided, then simply take a breath, think about it, really examine your food issues. Could you do more to lose weight? Could you move a bit more and eat a bit less?

Anyway, I am where I am and I plan to make the best of what I have left. And I intend to keep making sure that pre op people have a good think and post op people like me have someone they can talk to.

Thanks to everyone who is supporting me.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I am so sorry that you are having all of those complications, but I have to say I LOVE everything you had to say and the way that you said it. I recently voiced my regrets about having this surgery and got blasted by the sleeve fans on this site. It is not a popular opinion, but someone should voice it. Thank you!

[GinaCampbell 434]

Some thoughts...one is about thinking about food all the time. This is a reality of life for many people, especially those that are overweight. I always thought about food, and I still always think about food a year out. I still think about planning my meals out and if I'm going somewhere I plan what I can throw in my bag, I think about making myself drink Water and I think about getting all my Protein in. Even if you did not have surgery, if you don't think about food you won't always make the best decisions. Sticking to a diet involves thinking about food.

As far as missing eating fast. Well surgery or not you're not supposed to eat fast. Eating fast is one of the main factors in weight gain.

When you say that you did your research and then say that you don't want to to think about your meals, you want to eat quickly, you want to have large meals...it seems contradictory. If you did your research you would have known about these things

I read some interesting comments today and I wanted to make something really clear.

Out of all these people around the globe that are on this website, there are going to be some of us that have found post op, that this surgery was the wrong decision.

If you want this website to be honest and truthful, a source of good solid information for people considering surgery and a source of support for people post op, then everyone's experiences should be welcome.

The reason's I think this surgery was wrong for me has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with my post op complications!

And as for comments about people who regret their surgeries and have complications because:

• "houses were dirty"

• "they didn't follow instructions"

• "they haven't seen the great results yet"

• "they are just negative people and negative people are more vocal

So, just let me tell you this, some of us simply made a mistake.

We thought this was a good plan, we took advice, did our research, attended the seminars and weigh ins (in my case, two years attending).

We met our surgeons, we discussed our pre existing conditions, we spoke to our family and friends.

I myself have a counsellor, did CBT counselling for the entire two years pre op and am deemed emotionally and mentally sound. (just as an aside, my NHS CBT counsellor did not agree with this surgery).

I checked with my pain mgt team about the efficacy of my medications post op.

And it was still a mistake!

And so what?

It happens. And people like me should be able to explain these things without others trying to negate our admission of this mistake by offering excuses as to why we are unhappy with our decision.

I could have floated onto a cloud, had magical unicorns lick away my stomach, and woke up in paradise fully healed, sipping a cocktail in the sun and I would still tell you that this was a mistake for ME. And for many of my friends.

It doesn't matter how many years post op I get, I will consider this a mistake.

My house is not dirty, I followed instructions to the letter, I consider my bariatric discharge booklet my life guideline and I never variate.

I keep in touch with anyone and everyone in my medical care stream that might be helpful.

And complications happened. And yes, to many of us in our bariatric system. But again, it was not the complications that disturb us.

We all have different reasons for regretting it.

Most of us feel that we were misinformed, which doesn't help. My neighbour regrets her bypass because of her now permanent diarrhea and no improvement in her diabetes. She tells me that she has to think about food most of the day just to keep herself fed (choosing the right foods so as not to vomit), and she could have simply dieted harder if she had known she would have to think of food all day. She is three years post op and she still struggles with dehydration. Her hair never grew back after the initial drop out.

I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds.

I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.

I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.

I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.

I want to drink beverages with my meals.

I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).

I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating.

I want my medications to work again in the way they did pre op to control my fibromyalgia symptoms.

And I have definitely seen weightloss results. As I was lying there starving to death for seven weeks, I have lost all but 20lbs of my expected and required excess weight to satisfy my healthcare team. ( I am still only getting around 500 cals a day in, but have constant diarrhea so who knows how much stays in).

I now look "normal" except for the grey pallor in my skin and the nappy I now have to wear because of fecal incontinence (my IBS-d was totally controlled before surgery).

I am six dress sizes smaller but can only leave my house if I don't eat anything and wear adult protection in case of Water causing an "accident". Or in case I become faint from lack of food and fall.

So I do actually feel that had I read a forum entry like this, I might have thought twice.

And that's a good thing. If people are scared, that's okay. Let them hear more than just "don't worry, I was fine, you will be too!" Because maybe they won't!

So this is not about complications, it's about people.

One size does not fit all. Some of us should have simply accepted our weight, or worked harder to diet it off. Had I taken in only 300 to 500 calories a day for 9 weeks pre op, I would have lost all this weight anyway.

If you are happy, well done! If you are dead set on going ahead, ignore this. If you are a high BMI person (think 600lb life), God bless you, this may save your life, if you are a food addict, I feel your pain.

You will still have to diet post op! You will still have to exercise.

If you are undecided, then simply take a breath, think about it, really examine your food issues. Could you do more to lose weight? Could you move a bit more and eat a bit less?

Anyway, I am where I am and I plan to make the best of what I have left. And I intend to keep making sure that pre op people have a good think and post op people like me have someone they can talk to.

Thanks to everyone who is supporting me.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[GinaCampbell 434]

Sophie, you really didn't understand my post. You are not accurate in what you commented. Eating"quickly and simply" is not eating fast. I never said anywhere that I want to eat large meals.

Therefore your comments make no sense to me.

[GinaCampbell 434]

Thank you to everyone who has been open, honest and supportive.

You will never see me be anything on here but the same.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I've been following your story and I hate that you are so miserable. My wish for you is that you find relief from the discomfort and inconveniences (understatement!!) you are dealing with. I know you did a LOT of research and feel that you were completely underinformed. In your initial post, you stated :



"I miss eating quickly and simply in a way that doesn't have to be well thought out.
I want to be able to eat a full salad, maybe even with dressings, without worrying about which component might not agree with me.
I want to be able to eat any kind of meat I want cooked how I want in the quantity I want.
I want to drink beverages with my meals.
I miss a morning coffee or afternoon tea. I miss ice tea. (I know other people can drink it but I can't now).
I don't want to have to plan my food day meticulously or be different from others around me eating."



Were you not told that all of these things would change or do you now just wish you could go back? These above changes are standard fare for almost all weight loss surgeries , especially so soon out. I'm over three years out and all of the above except coffee and tea still applies, but I knew that going in. (I will say my new meal planning now feels normal so that's a plus!!)

As for the dirty house comments and other such nonsense? Report that crap!! That's more than ridiculous! No one should say crap like that to you.

I wish you well, and more importanyly, I wish you peace.

[GinaCampbell 434]

No, I was not told about any of this before surgery with the exception of the not eating and drinking together.

The booklet we were given upon discharge was the first time we were given a list of "problem" foods.

And no, I definitely would not have gone ahead had I seen this booklet first.

[Dub 9,922]

Thank you to everyone who has been open, honest and supportive.

You will never see me be anything on here but the same.

A couple things really hit home from your original post.

First is that you did a tremendous amount of research pre-op and put a lot of time and effort into making this decision. It certainly was well thought out.

The second thing that really struck a similar chord with me is your comment, "I myself am only 9 weeks post op and have had complications so I can't know what my future holds." I want to really key in on this.

I didn't really feel alive and vibrant until somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd month. Prior to that the diarrhea, rumbling stomach, weird feels overall, dropping blood pressure and baggy clothes had me feeling strange and uncertain. Then....I found my stride. I found that life was normal. I was eating hearty cuts of succulent Protein........and then I was given the go ahead to have coffee.....blessed coffee. Things began getting back to normal....a new normal that was much better than any I'd known in decades. It continues to get better each week, too.

Now....if I want, I can have the diet Dews and diet Cokes that I used to love.....and yes...I can even have them with some mixed nuts & cheese (one of my all time favorite snacks) so long as I stay within my daily calorie goals. I've yet to have the diet sodas simply because I have been without them for the better part of a year and don't miss them. I'm good with Water and coffee and an occasional diet Snapple or similar.

I ask that you trust in your pre-op homework and demonstrated diligence. You put in tremendous thought into this back then. You've been through a major series of changes since and are truly at the infant stages of your post-op living. You are only 9 weeks out.

I'll wager that in a few months you'll resist this thread with an update and I hope that it's one where you've found that things have normalized and everything is falling into place.

Hang in there and thanks for being open, supportive and honest. That's the only way to roll.

[forever changed 39]

I agree with you. The good, bad and ugly should be discussed openly.

Sent from my SM-J700T1 using the BariatricPal App

[LipstickLady 25,682]

No, I was not told about any of this before surgery with the exception of the not eating and drinking together.

The booklet we were given upon discharge was the first time we were given a list of "problem" foods.

And no, I definitely would not have gone ahead had I seen this booklet first.

This totally boggles my mind and I'm sorry you weren't told these very basic things, nor did you find them in your extensive research.