My work here is done

[Anna Nim 196]

I wish that there was more categories of useful information and tips for newbies without having to ask and ask or go back and search and search. Like expanded FAQ section. The doctors tell so little and the questions get repeated over and over here-leading to frustration that I hear in your post.

Maybe just ignore the newbies and hang with the older peeps?

[borg/assimilated 576]

@@Kindle,

When I first started looking on this forum you were one of the people I admired most. I have always appreciated your advice/ responses. I still recall one of your posts about needing food in the airport and finding a place that sold Quest bars.......to me that showed real dedication to success post WLS. I always make it a point to look at your posts, I will surely miss your wisdom.

[becomingmandikaye 262]

You will be missed. I'm a newbie (3 weeks out), but you and all of the vets have been absolutely invaluable to me as I started this journey, and as I continue to progress.

But you gotta do what's best for you. <3

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

Some "vets" may leave due to:

People giving arrogant replies to their posts, because they didn't want to hear the truth and wanted someone to coddle them or condone bad or potentially harmful behaviors.

Reading for the umpteenth time about "drinking through straws", "3 week stalls" etc.. But out of fairness, for a newbie, it is a new question to them (even though there are numerous posts that could be searched here for the same answers).

They are comfortable in their journey and no longer find much value for them here (although, there are always informative posts/replies constantly being made, helpful hints, recipes, websites referenced for info and even posts just for laughs).

People whether a "newbie" or a "vet" can give helpful information at any stage of their journey. Granted someone who just had bariatric surgery (or is awaiting) can not tell you their first hand experience at the 1 year post surgery mark, but they may have an interesting question to ponder or relay information they researched or learned regarding that.

But in any case, information should be researched and verified and possibly discussed with a person's surgeon and/or nutritionist before acting on the advice.

Not all advice, even when accurate, can be applied to everyone due to different medical, nutritional, psychological and physical requirements. Sometimes people (at any stage of this journey) are misinformed or misunderstood advice and relay that incorrect information with good intent. Sometimes people give medical advice with no medical background when someone really should contact a healthcare professional.

Along the lines of information received over the internet from strangers that are not verified, I need to go to the bank and wire over $10,000 to a prince in a 3rd world country who won the lottery that he can't cash, so I can buy his ticket.

[pepitared 5]

One week post op, just joined today and after seeing this post I'm in shock and quite frankly disgust that someone would go through such a painful surgery, a surgery that was education was obviously provided for and eat bacon!!!! Tells me this person wanted a quick fix and wants the surgery to be the fix yet put zero work in!!!! I have diabetic induced gastroparesis. I'm 5'5 and had a BMI of 32 I didn't qualify on weight alone but bc the surgery would hopefully resolve my diabetes, and my gastroparesis would not become worse I was approved. Otherwise eventually I may have ended up on a g-tube or worse, death. So this surgery was not what I wanted but needed, but you can damn sure bet I'm going to do everything I have to to be successful!!!!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Roostertail2 98]

I agree with needing a vet group. I am 2 years out and would really like to discuss what is going on NOW.

[illailla 79]

why leave because of the comments made by a few?

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Kindle, I'll miss you for one single reason: I like you a lot.

You and I have been sympatico since Day 1 here and on another WLS forum.

Re the Stupid and Sensitive Brigade, f**k 'em. They'll wind up in the same place they started.

[Djmohr 6,965]

@@Kindle

I hope that you have a change of heart and at least hang out in the veterans forum. I understand how frustrating this is and myself dropped off for about 8 weeks just to regroup.

The reality is there are stupid people who clearly are looking for a magical bullet and don't want to do the work. In the end, they will be one of those that do not succeed and that will be their own doing.

It's certainly sad that they will add to the idiots who end up making WLS so scary to those that need it.

I hope you will stay with us and wanted to tell you that I have really appreciated the advice and your straightforward approach!

[GinaCampbell 434]

I have been amazed by the things and the amounts people eat! I get really upset because I am unable to eat anything at all and when and if I ever do, rubbish food is not on my list. Everyone here has been wonderful and supportive. I am also in the UK and have no real support except for here.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[needtorecover 574]

As a newbie, I find the vets' information very helpful and motivating. It sucks when you don't really know anyone else who has had weight loss surgery so I come here to read and ask questions. Or just complain because no one else really gets it. My friends who are fat are happy to stay fat, and my friends who are thin don't understand what I'm going through. I get a lot of "Yay, you go, girl!" type of comments but that's about it.

It's a weird mix of "Wow, this is so much easier than dieting!" and "Ugh, why is cake so easy to eat??" Very hard to explain to anyone who hasn't had WLS. Plus we deal with a boat load of ignorance that other people just don't get.

There are days when I just say "screw it" and think my lap band will never get me to where I want to be and then I come here and see others who have made it to the other side and I feel motivated again.

Just saying. This online community is relatively small compared to others and the loss of good members hurts. Not trying to guilt you into staying, of course, but I hope other vets know they are appreciated and wanted here if they're thinking of leaving due to blatant stupidity.

[dklentz01983 21]

Lmao. Im pretty sure a doctor told her not to do it and she did it anyways. She will regret not doing what she was told when she starts gaining weight back. She needs to get her feelings hurt. I say screw ignorant people, dont let them win

[OutsideMatchInside 10,166]

why leave because of the comments made by a few?

It isn't the few, it is the majority really and it has been escalating for a while. That is why WLS forums are filled with newbies and not veterans.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

why leave because of the comments made by a few?

It isn't the few, it is the majority really and it has been escalating for a while. That is why WLS forums are filled with newbies and not veterans.

I love it when when "vets" (who've not been real successful YET) attack vets who don't coddle and give warm fuzzy atta-girls/boys to newbies who are looking for permission/justification to make bad decisions.

Yup, they are the best.

[OKCPirate 5,323]

I'll have to admit that my posts are not as prolific as they used to be. It is discouraging to respond to a newbie or even some one six months out who reveals a serious indiscretion and then calls me a "goody two shoes" for giving a sane and medically sound response. For the most part, I have passed the torch on to those who have been around about a year. At 2 1/2 years I don't feel so appreciated. Hopefully, there will be enough newbies who are serious enough with this to take their teams' recommendations. A lot of the veterans' success is due to following doctor's orders. There is nothing magic about it.

This is like any other voluntary association. Sometimes I have time to pay attention, other times I don't. It is a little odd for me to think of myself as some sort of veteran. I like to help sincere seekers. (and I dig @@dubs food porn). I remember where I was when I started. This site was a little daunting when I first found it. It takes a little while to figure it out. You don't realize at first to look at surgery date and number of posts when you are judging how much credence to give an answer . You don't even know how to create preferences so you don't get flooded with email notices. Heck you don't even know the right terms to search.

"Geez what's a stall?" You know until November 2014, I wouldn't have known to search for that, all I knew was I wasn't pooping and not losing weight and I was kind of scared. I appreciated the online "hand on my shoulders" and people telling me "this is normal stuff, you got this."

So yes, it gets a little old. No one should ever feel obligated to be here. But I remember where I was. I try to help out when I have time, and I do appreciate those who voluntarily and unselfishly give their time to help others. It was huge to me when I REALLY needed it.

Now for the vets, I want to suggest a thought to you...have you thought about what YOU get when you help some one new to this? It reinforces what you are trying to do. We have had some people pop back after being gone for a while, and lamenting they have lost their way and gained some weight again. Now I don't think that being here guarantees success, but I think it is like my sisters work in drug and alcohol recovery. She is an alcoholic. She helps others in recovery through AA. Not only because she can, but it reminds her every day just how important her sobriety is and what a gift it is.

So while there are problems with the internet chat board world that no one will ever be able to fix, please reflect, what you get, when you give.