Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

"But you're so young" and other things that piss me off.



Recommended Posts

I am 27, was just sleeved on 12/28. I have had a ton of people be supportive and that's great! (I tell everyone, no hiding it.. I even have an instagram dedicated to it!) My surgeon even used my age as one of the reasons he thought I'd be so successful. Easier recovery, etc.

My problem comes from a select group of people who seem to think that because I'm SO YOUNG (which btw.. is 27 even that young, news to me). They ask me why I would take this step at this age, why not wait until longer and see if I couldn't do it on my own (like I didn't try that, thanks for such great advice!).

I'm also not married, and someone had the audacity to ask me what guys would think of my saggy skin... well hell IDK what did they think of my fat? I've never had issues finding a date... so thanks but no thanks.

Then comes the "well you know you can't have kids right away" (my surgeon says 2 years). Considering I'm not married or in a serious relationship, and the fact that I'M NOT EVEN SURE I WANT KIDS this shouldn't be a problem!

I know I should just ignore these people and tell them to shove it, it really hurts my feelings some times. Just today a girl posted a before/after on Facebook and said "did this work the natural way, no pills or surgery for me!". That really hurt. This choice isn't easy. I feel like that was directed toward me.

End of rant.

Anyone else feel the same?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before I even told anyone I was considering surgery my sister lost a lot of weight. My grandma shared a before and after picture of her with the caption, "This is our oldest granddaughter. She lost 100 lbs. No surgery, just eating healthy. So proud of her."

I know that sting. ????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish it had been available at 27, good for you for not wasting years of your life and making this happen now.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Sorry, I turned 30 in November so not sure if I'm allowed to comment in the "Twenties" forum ???? but I decided to have sleeve surgery when my 29th birthday was approaching. I have always been overweight and I tried over and over to lose weight. I always told myself if I didn't get it off before I turned 30 I would never get it off. So when I knew my 29th was coming up I decided to go for WLS. While other's comments can be hurtful, I am so happy I made the decision I did. It worked for me and I'm only 2 lbs from my goal weight now. I'm sad because I feel like I wasted my 20's BUT at least now I can enjoy and Celebrate my 30's in my healthy new body. Can you imagine if I had wasted another decade trying to lose it "naturally"? The longer we are overweight the more damage we are causing.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before I even told anyone I was considering surgery my sister lost a lot of weight. My grandma shared a before and after picture of her with the caption, "This is our oldest granddaughter. She lost 100 lbs. No surgery, just eating healthy. So proud of her."

I know that sting.

It really hurt my feelings, I'm proud that I have had the surgery, I've never hid it. I just felt like she was for some reason being rude or competitive. Like, hey maybe let's not all compete with each other! Let's build each other up! The only person I wanna be better than is myself (total pinterest quote!) haha.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm 23 and i too have heard the "oh honey your too young for that. " it is quite irritating . i haven't even told most of my friends and family even my dad doesn't know. just because i don't want to hear them tell me what is right for my life . my dad told me that if i do that if i have weight loss surgery I'm ruining my life. thought this was odd for him to say considering he had lap band about 3 or 4 years ago. oh and he has had success with lap band . he thinks that anything other than the lap band is going to ruin my life because it is non reversible. hence the reason i neglected to tell him of MY decision he will not be told by me. sorry apparently i needed to vent /rant lol. ( i am married and i have a little boy. )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your post just made my day! Glad I'm not the only one going through that. I'm in preop stages, I'm 29 not married or in a relationship and not sure I even want to have kids. But I get the lecture too that I won't be able to have them for 2 years after surgery. If I'm not in a committed relationship I'm not even thinking of kids!!! But seriously don't let anyone make you feel like you didn't do it the natural way.. that doesn't work for everyone. We've obviously tried that! And this is definitely not an easy way out as many people seem to think. We are giving up soooo much more!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly it's something that comes with the territory ... Ppl don't picture 20 year olds having weight loss surgery it's typically people in their mid 30s and up.

My own brother asked me " don't you think you can do it on your own?" I when I finally told him (my surgery is Feb 15 and I told him last week)

It's just something that comes along with the territory unfortunately. As long as you're happy with your decision it doesn't matter what everyone thinks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Having the surgery is a major decision to have in the first place. If we could lose weight on our own, we would. Hell, not like we didn't try. I distinctly remember telling my mum when I was around 17, that I will 'someday lose the weight'. And I tried. But all said and done, it is now 10 years later and I'm at my heaviest. So yeah. Like KristenVSG2014, I want to make sure I enjoy my 30s, and hopefully I'm gonna get this surgery done before or around my 28th in April. Fingers crossed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You know, if people lose the weight on their own, then power to them. Awesome. It takes commitment and sacrifice and dedication. I truly admire that. Unfortunately, not always, but in most cases those people gain it back. How many times do we see on this forum statements like: "I lost a 100 pounds and gained all back, and then some." They get stuck in that yo-yo dieting--a life of gaining and losing. Which is horrible for our bodies, metabolism and quality of life. Again, for those who take it off, completely change their life style and keep it off, I am in awe of them and super proud of their accomplishment.

However, for many of us that isn't the case. We tried and failed, tried and failed, and we tried and failed again. It is hard to erase a lifetime of habits, even if you're in your twenties. I wish I had taken this step in my twenties. To feel the quality of life that I now feel. The surgery was like a reset: a reset to my metabolism, my taste buds, the quantity I could eat. With that reset, I was better able to unlearn old ugly habits, pick up new healthy habits, and thus change my lifestyle. In essence, the sleeve gave me the opportunity to control the QUANTITY of food I intake. While I--me, myself and I, NOT the sleeve--taught myself QUALITY: the quality of eating a diverse array of healthy foods, the quality of eating small meals every 3 hours, the quality of exercising and activating my body for better performance and endurance. All of those things I DID. NOT the sleeve. The sleeve was the "tool" that got me there.

We do not and should not EVER apologize for that. Not one prescription or method works for all. The "natural" way did not work for us and our very lives, our livelihoods,our quality of life suffered for it. So, let them say they lost it the natural way. Let them compliment themselves or others. Agree with them, because that is awesome and it deserves to be acknowledged. But NEVER forget that our way was just as tedious--if not, more so because of the drastic change and toll the sleeve takes on our lives and body. NEVER forget that the sleeve may have been a jump start, but everything else in between is YOU. It is US. It is our efforts, our trials, our failures, our successes. We did that. Not the sleeve.

So, pick your head up sweetie. Because everyone of us here, knows better. Your efforts are validated. Your journey is validated. Your decision is validated. Don't let ANYONE knock you down.

...okay, stepping off my soap box.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I waited until my early 50s to do this surgery and I wish I had much earlier. i waited until the extra 150 lbs I carried ruined my knees and created four lumbar hernias in my back. Congrats to all of you who made this decision in time to maximize its benefits. Great for all those who lost weight without WLS - i did too and gained it and quite a bit more back. This sleeve is a great tool exactly because the restriction is permanent. Some of us need that extra help - and that is no cause for shame.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Good morning,

I am 26 years old, and I am 10 weeks out from surgery.

I have been considering bypass since I was 18, and I kept getting sucked into the stories they were telling me.

"Your too young" "you really don't have that much weight to lose" "if you just ate less and exercised more..."

For years I fed into this, I would extreme diet. I started going Crossfit 6 days a week for 5 years and I gained a ton of muscle, but never lost any fat.

So last year I asked myself what I want, and it was to be able to live my life healthy and worry free. To be able to work out because I love it, not because I'm afraid of gaining 1 pound!

So I had surgery December 1, 2015.

My very first surgery ever, and it's been challenging, but a super fun experience!

I have lost 43 lbs. I am sleeping better, and feeling energized for life!

I've been doing yoga 5 days a week, and figuring out what my body likes and doesn't like.

I've been experiencing ever changing taste buds, some days I like something, some days it makes me want to gagg!

Anyhow, thanks for the encouragement, and community!

????????

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 4 replies
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

      2. gracesmommy2

        Hope you’re doing well!

      3. NickelChip

        I hope it goes well! Sending positive thoughts for a speedy recovery!

      4. AmberFL

        How are you doing? any update?!

    • jparadigm

      Hello lovlies!
      Today is a beautiful day in west Michigan! I hope you all have a beautiful Tuesday and rest of your week!! 🤗
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×