If this wasn't so pathetic it would be hilarious

[OKCPirate 5,323]

@@Valentina that's a great idea! But again, married people get birthday , wedding and anniversary presents...we still get ripped off.

As for Valentine's Day, it hasn't been a biggie for me even when I was dating. The very first love of my life ruined it by getting engaged to someone else on Valentine's Day 1987. We had dated off and on all through high school. I was a freshman in college. He was in the Army, stationed at Ft. Bragg and I found out he had been cheating on me from his younger brother. . But it sure felt good pounding his glass ring into a pancake before returning it. Guess that was the beginning of the end for me.....

No, Kindle, that was the beginning of your beginning.

I've always had this theory that I swear to be true:-----most men suffer from "HGS" when it comes to being compassionate and caring of a woman's heart. "HGS" stands for "Hanging Genital Syndrome". It has always occurred to me that when one's genitals hang freely from the body, it causes drag throughout the body--eventually the brain. Dragging of the brain causes cellular damage --leaving one cold hearted and obsessed with one's damage causing hanging parts.

Of course, not all men suffer from this ailment---just those insensitive sods out there in Never Never Land.

God told Adam I have some good news and some bad...the good news is I am going to give you a brain and a penis. The bad news is I can only give you

enough blood to operate one at a time

[Valentina 2,642]

​@OKCPirate: I heard it a bit differently---

When God looked upon the first man that He created He said, "I can do better".

Then did so...

[jaxmom 643]

Oh it gets even better. I told him on the phone what he did really bothered me.

So, I decided to give him one more chance. Today, I drove to his town, yes 2 hours away, and we were going to go kayaking again. I get there, and he has no teeth. Finally, I asked him where his teeth were, and he said "in the truck"

After kayaking, he tried to kiss me and I pushed him away, so he only got a peck. then he told me to call him later. I waited about half an hour and sent him a text that I wasn't going to call him, because we aren't a match, and that's why I didn't want to kiss him! and then I added "good luck with your search"

Omg. Omg omg omg. He showed up with no teeth??? After you told him it bothered you??? I just can't.

Again I'm so sorry to laugh, but this is better than any book I have read. Is it selfish of me not to want you to find Mr. Right because the dating stories would be over?

You have an awesome attitude and a way with words. Some guy is missing out!!!!

I wish you the best, PLEASE keep posting!

Jen

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

The title of this thread says it perfectly. It's so pathetic. I don't even know why I try.

You have an awesome attitude and a way with words. Some guy is missing out!!!

Thank you! I wish I was making this stuff up. There are some nice, educated older men in Oregon but it seems only the losers reply to my profile.

[RILEYSMOM22 344]

The title of this thread says it perfectly. It's so pathetic. I don't even know why I try.

You have an awesome attitude and a way with words. Some guy is missing out!!!

Thank you! I wish I was making this stuff up. There are some nice, educated older men in Oregon but it seems only the losers reply to my profile.

I refer to myself as a weirdo-magnet, lol. Hang in there, Mr Right will come along!

[MIMISAN 404]

Or maybe it still is.

So a week ago I joined eHarmony. After a week, there are still NO matches for me within 100 miles. SERIOUSLY??????

I also joined OKCupid. Oyyy. Here's the week's rundown on who has contacted me:

6 guys who claim they are in the army and are deployed overseas. One guy's picture showed him wearing his army uniform incorrectly, and when I called him on it, he said "bye then." One guy who asked me my name (my first name is in my screen name like here). I replied, "Oh c'mon, you know my name." Then when he didn't respond, I said, "I'm losing faith in you, Mr. Smith (the name on his uniform). You know my name. Or is your name really Akwa from Nigeria??" He responded "ok bye". The jury is still out on whether the other 4 are legit or not.

One FBI agent, three Secret Service agents, and one British Intelligence Agent. Of course, NONE of them can really talk about themselves, but will "tell all when we meet". Yeah. Uh huh.

About 25 really bad scammers. Since I used to work for a kink site that had a dating section, I can spot them a mile away. Their messages go like this: "Am John by name. Am kind, am hardworking, am loyal. Seeking for honest woman."

Oh yes, another relatively-new scammer tactic... they use the word TACO in their screen name. Like this: John_taco or Jimbanx_taco. Not sure why they all suddenly think the word "taco" is appropriate.

Another two dozen guys that are looking for someone local (on their profiles) but are a minimum of 1,000 miles away. Not really sure what their deal is.

Two guys that are local to me, and another one 40 miles away. These three I might actually meet. I like the 40-mile guy the most, of course, since that's the one that's the most difficult logistically. For these three, I contacted them first.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot about the 22 year old who wanted "Mommy-son roleplay." No. Just... no.

Thank God I'm not looking anymore

Sent from my SM-N910V using the BariatricPal App

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

This guy messaged me on POF. I had my profile hidden for most of this time, but I unhid it for a weekend.

We hit it off really well, as far as our personalities go. He was funny and I enjoyed our conversation. We went to lunch, then we went to the beach and walked and talked for awhile . Then we went back to my car. There was a picnic table outside the restaurant where my car was parked. We sat at the picnic table for quite awhile longer. He was funny and interesting. We were talking at this picnic table, and he told me he really liked me and wanted to see me again. Then he said he wanted to lay all his cards on the table and said

"I have erectile dysfunction!" I don't know why I wanted to die laughing but I just told him a lot of guys his age have that. I also got an email from him saying he can't wait to see me again. I'm still laughing. Talk about being blunt.

[NeedaBreak4Me 1,755]

@@Oregondaisy

I kinda respect this guy for being so open and honest.... i think he might be worth that 2nd date.

It couldn't have been easy for this dude to say that... and thank god for viagara.. so hopefully it doesn't cause issues in that department.

Any guy who is that open on the first date is serious about getting to know you and must really like you...

But if i was in that situation, i would probably want to giggle like a school girl at the awkwardness of it all... lol

[Armygalbonnie 643]

I'm in OK too but down in Lawton. I met my husband on POF and fortunately for me, I got a great one!! I had to kiss many-a-toads before I met my Prince.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

But if i was in that situation, i would probably want to giggle like a school girl at the awkwardness of it all... lol

That was the whole thing. It was extremely awkward, but I did my giggling inside. I've had guys tell me that before, not in those exact words though. I've never had one tell me the very first time we were meeting though!

[KristenLe 5,979]

@@Oregondaisy I hope you give him a chance - it takes a lot of balls to say that to someone on the 1st date. Hopefully it will be something you both can laugh about it one day. And hopefully if it works out with you two - his dysfunction can be corrected. :-)

[Oregondaisy 2,019]

Yeah, we'll see what happens. He's a pretty outdoorsy guy, and has a boat he sleeps on when he takes it out. I can see us having some fun, but we're probably not a match for what he's looking for.

I do admire his guts. He could have said it a little more tactfully though. I guess he wanted to use the complete medical terminology.

[Valentina 2,642]

This guy messaged me on POF. I had my profile hidden for most of this time, but I unhid it for a weekend.

We hit it off really well, as far as our personalities go. He was funny and I enjoyed our conversation. We went to lunch, then we went to the beach and walked and talked for awhile . Then we went back to my car. There was a picnic table outside the restaurant where my car was parked. We sat at the picnic table for quite awhile longer. He was funny and interesting. We were talking at this picnic table, and he told me he really liked me and wanted to see me again. Then he said he wanted to lay all his cards on the table and said

"I have erectile dysfunction!" I don't know why I wanted to die laughing but I just told him a lot of guys his age have that. I also got an email from him saying he can't wait to see me again. I'm still laughing. Talk about being blunt.

Please, please, please---the next time he calls, Please reframe from asking him, "What's up?" ...

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I admire the frankness. It is pretty disappointing to get this news 2-3 months into things....

Yeah, we'll see what happens. He's a pretty outdoorsy guy, and has a boat he sleeps on when he takes it out. I can see us having some fun, but we're probably not a match for what he's looking for.

I do admire his guts. He could have said it a little more tactfully though. I guess he wanted to use the complete medical terminology.