Newbie here. Anyone else scared of death?

[Onion 5]

Heyo folks.

I've been obese my whole life (40 years now), and finally made the decision to really do something about it this past spring. The funny thing is, I was scheduled to have the surgery on May 7th of 2001. I backed out because I was 25, arrogant and a know-it-all. I thought I could beat this thing myself. Well...I did beat it, and it beat me back 10 times since. This has been a decision I have been struggling with for the past 15 years. Now...I am well on my way to surgery. I'm a couple of weeks away from my final appointment and meeting my surgeon. Looks like my surgery is going to be the week of Christmas.

I'm scared of a few things:

Death due to anesthesia.

Death due to blood clotting.

Death due to complications.

Thing is...I don't want to die, and that is why I am having this surgery. I want to extend what's left of my life. Would be nice to have grandchildren one day, watch my kids get married, grow old with the woman I love.

Just scared of not even getting out of the gate. It's keeping me up nights. I wake up and can't get back to sleep. It's a veritable hell I am going through on this. It's started to depress me and make me irritable. It's overwhelming fear sometimes. I've almost talked myself out of it. Sometimes I think the lengthy process makes you process too much at times. The time drawn out from classes, appointments and insurance approval almost makes you wait too long, and sit with your thoughts and anxieties. If it were August or September and you told me I was having my surgery tomorrow, I would jump with joy.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you deal with it? Any pointers or suggestions?

Thanks

O

[tappingmom 85]

The best way I've been able to combat those feelings is with the facts. I just had my pre-surgery checkup with my PCP and she says I'm in great shape for surgery. I've been exercising for last 3 months and have greatly improved cardiovascular function. My blood pressure has come down a bit. I've stopped any medications that could contribute to blood clots or bleeding (in my case birth control pills and daily low-dose aspirin). I've read up on all the things I can do in the hospital to improve my outcome (walking, incentive spirometer, etc.) and plan to follow my surgeon's instructions to the letter. He's done thousands of surgeries and has never had a mortality so I feel I'm in good hands. Other than that, I'm focusing on all the positive outcomes I can expect (looking through all the before and after posts is very motivating) and just looking forward to December 12th (my surgery date)!

[Djmohr 6,965]

The best thing for you to do is remain positive. Gastric bypass surgery is pretty safe. I believe the statistics are something like 1/1000.

You could worry yourself sick with thinking of all the things that could go wrong. The reason they do all this pre op testing is to make sure you have the best possible chance to get through surgery. They won't operate if it is not relatively safe.

You are in much more danger by doing nothing as you already know.

People die when they don't follow the plan. If your doctor requires the liver cleanse diet you follow it, if you are a smoker quit, etc.

Complications arise when you don't follow the plan but I can assure you they won't attempt it if there is concerns that you won't come out of surgery.

Take some deep breaths, ask your surgeon about his/her mortality rate and let him know your fears. I would bet you will feel much more at ease.

Having this surgery done actually saved my life. It is the best thing I ever did for myself.

Good luck to you!

[Learningtolive 109]

Have you ever had a negative response to anesthesia? If not, I wouldn't worry about that part.

I admit I'm worried too but I've had anesthesia several times, several types, and never had any issues. Just stay positive and focus on the outcome. Follow the dr's orders as stated already and you should be good. Complications from anesthesia are extremely rare. Mortality from this surgery is also rare and this surgery is well-researched and well-documented. You'll be fine.

[WLSResources/ClothingExch 3,443]

@@Onion --

You don't have to do that to yourself. The fact is that there is risk with any surgery, everything from heart transplant to splinter removal. It's a choice and, considering the alternative, usually well worth the risk. You thinking is all wrong. It's easy to say so and takes some effort to look at things from the opposite viewpoint, but you can do it.

The good news is that you can choose not to have surgery. The whole process is about choice. You should consider the alternative, though. Write out a list of your reasons for wanting to lose weight with a good chance of maintaining. Include the benefits to your health and longevity, your emotional well-being, the new opportunities in all areas of life, and all the other little things that come to mind. You'll still have the option to cancel surgery, but you just may discover that what matters is living well.

It seems to me that most people, although they may be impatient with the seemingly endless pre-process, become increasingly eager for surgery. They're thinking of the benefits; they have something to look forward to.

You bring to mind a long-ago (mid 1970's) co-worker and the elderly couple with whom he and his wife were friends and neighbors. The subject of death had come up. Neither of the couple felt the least fear of death and gave it little thought. They'd each experienced and accomplished what they'd wanted during the course of their lives. Even better, they were still living as works in progress. A fulfilled life doesn't regret and, therefore, has nothing to fear.

Edited November 20, 2015 by WLSResources/ClothingExch

[Ashlegal 525]

I was more scared of dying a slow miserable death by being morbidly obese in conjunction with diabetes (and it's complications), high blood pressure/high cholesterol (and the fear of stroke and or heart attack), afraid I would fall and be unable to get up due to my weight, scared that when I did fall, it would be hard to get the help I needed because I was so big, ummm, let's see, I was scared I would be in a car accident and be wedged so tightly, getting me out would take too long and I would die, I was also really scared that I would eventually be in a motorized device to get me around to do everyday things because my weight would have made walking very painful.

(yes, that is one long run on sentence)

Ultimately those fears (and many more) listed above squashed the fears I had about complications due to surgery. I knew not having surgery, I would die and it would be slow, miserable, horrible and a wasted life. If I had to die, I was going to die fighting for the life I deserved, needed and dreamed about.

[Denise007 13]

I could have written this myself. I'm just starting the process and get anxiety thinking about it. What helps me is to focus on the future. I Pin cute clothes on Pinterest and hairstyles that I like. Anything to keep my mind occupied. I've spent hours googling horror stories, but in the end I have to focus on the future.

[chilepeppr4 29]

It's like I wrote this!! I'm scared to death( no pun intended).

I go back and forth 1000 times a day. What if I get a blood clot, what if I die on the table.. Etc. I'm just starting also, I have about 5 more months of waiting to go which, like you said.. Is probably the worst part

[ReneK 107]

I think it is natural to be scared. I have just finished my 3-month pre op and my file should get submitted to the insurance today. I'm excited and terrified. I seem to be dwelling on what it will be like to come out of anesthesia and have my whole life be different. It's a bit overwhelming. But I've done the research. I will follow my doctors orders to the letter.

The bottom line for me is that my odds of dying early due to morbid obesity and diabetes far outweigh the odds of complications from the surgery.

Good luck!

[BlueBongo 52]

I'm am on the same wave length with you. I started this process almost four months ago with a program that I recently found out had no Surgeons, though they kept taking on new patients..... and I was lost without any info other than the diet and no support. So my stress and anxiety went up a bit, but I was able to switch to a much MUCH better program, just met my amazing surgeon this past Monday and should hear from my patient advocate again likely Friday or Monday on what else I will need to.... but I am still a little anxious since I'm coming into a new program mid-(6 month) diet. But I've completed ALL of the other requirements for my insurance... so hopefully this will go by quickly. I still find myself with lots of up and downs and feeling the same way....... I know this is where I need to be and it is ALL for the better. I am tired of being sick and tired and I can't wait to get back to being my happy, awesome, fun, and quirky self after my surgery next year... just gotta get through these next few months!!! Can't wait to get the approval and final surgery dates... though because of my crazy airline gig I'll have to take a few extra months to heal afterward...... it seems so far away, but I've got so much to get together and catch up on before that happens.

Stay positive and keep looking forward!

[Onion 5]

Wow guys....

Thanks for all the replies! It's nice to know that I'm not alone in these feelings. After a long holiday weekend, I am feeling a lot better about getting the surgery. It seems that I might be actually boring myself with these thoughts, as I am feeling more relaxed the closer I get to it.

Fact of the matter is that I am in dire need of getting rid of this weight. I have to take this opportunity to better my life, and the life of those that love me and want my presence on this earth.

After doing a bit more research, I realized that a lot of these complications that happen and result in death, is the patient themselves not following Doctor's orders post-op. This will not be a problem for me.

Thanks again.

Edited November 30, 2015 by Onion

[allenjf 16]

Dunno if this helps, but ... a family member just had surgery for another condition this summer, and was scared of the anesthetic. The anesthesiologist and the nurse anesthetist provided a great stat: You're more likely to have a car accident on the way to the hospital than have complications due to the anesthesia. I drove this family member to the hospital for a bunch of preop, op, and postop visits/procedures and we didn't have a single accident

[Pedro Valle-Inclan 275]

Hi, I just got my operation confirmation date two hours ago; all of a sudden it's real, very real. Yes, I'm nervous, but I too calm myself with the stats, I even asked my doc, "Hey, you lose anyone yet??" He said no.

If I don't do this, my weight and insane yo yo dieting will do me in anyway, I too have lost and regained so many times. I think roughly I've lost around 300 lbs over the years but always gained it back. The joint and back pain alone make me ant to take the risk, not to mention the diabetes, high cholesterol, high BP, you name it!!

Yes brother, we can do this!! You know you're not alone, the best to us, pedro

[AmyBug 38]

I'm having surgery in the morning, and I've also had the same thoughts. My mom works in an operating room, and tells me stories all the time that scare the crap out of me and makes me want to back out myself (please note most of these are trauma patient who were in rough shape to start, none were bariatric patients)

But, three weeks ago a close friend lost his father to a heart attack, completely unexpected and young.

Sure, death is a risk of surgery, but death is also a risk of living. You could die crossing the street, does that mean your not going to do it? Nope, but you can do what you can to prevent it, and look boths ways. The same with surgery, listen to what your doctor tells you to do, eat your Protein and take your Vitamins, drink your Water, and move around so you don't get clots, loose what they tell you too, so it is easier for your surgeon to see. Choose a Bariatric COE, so you know your taken care of.

I'm still scared, but we can do this.

[Denise007 13]

You will do great! Let us know how you're feeling when you feel up to it.