I have been rejected

[4MRB4PHOTO 3,899]

I won't give this a "like this", I don't agree that you are a "monster" but I will give you a smile for you to keep your chin up and put a smile on your face.

People wrote some very good recommendations and examples (maybe leave out the duct tape).

There are many people out there who are lean, in shape, very attractive but who would qualify as a monster for the way they treat other people, have no empathy or compassion and are self centered, to name a few things.

You are not a "monster", you have excess skin. Wear it like a battle scar, you lost 211 pounds! That is amazing. Congratulations.

Try to have a great day, you have so much to be proud about. You lost all that weight, your health must have improved and you will live a longer, healthier and happier life now.

Edited November 10, 2015 by 4MRB4PHOTO

[Scamp 207]

I am so sorry this has happened to you, you are NOT a monster - You are a survivor!

Is there any way at all you could get any help from them to counteract the problems they see that could occur?

They say you are a high risk factor, and they think you might die - But - If this were not a cosmetic surgery - They would (the Doctors) most likely find a way to do it. My Mother was told earlier this year (different op but they still said) They said 'If you don't have this operation you will die - And if you do - You might die also' Fact was it was - In her words 'the best operation she has ever had' Of the 4 previous ops for differing problems...

If they are concerned you may become septic - Why is this if you don't mind me asking..... I know things are different here in the UK.... But surely there is a way for you to not become septic?

I know there are tons of Shapewear to support the skin, and I can feel how disheartened you are :-( I do hope that you can find a way to get through this problem, and maybe find a way round it....

I do believe that this is a serious challenge, but I also do not believe that any challenge is completely insurmountable - It just takes careful planning, and - Of course adhering to a different regime....

If you went on a long term course of antibiotics would that help?

If you had some of that special hospital wash that they use would that keep them pesky bugs away?

If anything I said above is upsetting - I do not mean to be - It would be great if a Dr was able to help you and to get you past this problem - Obviously alive and well!

I would as is said above - Get a second opinion and ask what steps could be taken to alleviate the problems that could possibly happen. If they say that this is a 100% definite then yes - You would avoid the surgery but if they say they know of a way to get past possible problems then that is something to look in to...

If you are unable to get past the risks - Then - You are a survivor and you are still an amazing person who has lost so much - I do hope that you can find some answers...

You are amazing - Be proud of your achievements!!! We are all proud of you :-)

Huuuuugsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

Edited November 10, 2015 by Scamp

[jane13 2,256]

@RJ'S/beginning - I am post a little over 6months and after two kids and yo-yo dieting for the last 15+ years my body has gone "south". When I run or walk quickly, and I am bra-less, the girls flap! The tummy flaps as well now. Like @@LipstickLady said only my dear hubby sees me and he says he likes me just the way I am. I accept that. I cannot afford surgery either so I will take my health over cosmetic any day! There are lots of us out here flapping, sagging and drooping. Be proud you are getting healthier and forget the rest.

jane

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

All valid points ladies and I appreciate your kind words. It was just something I was not expecting. Last I heard it was a go. Two surgeons working side by side. Not no, and the list went on for thirty minutes why.

Each reason was valid. I am just upset. where to go is here. i think of others like me and need their words of wisdom as you have all shown me.

My body takes forever to heal now. I get sick easily. My skin breaks down there is no pre work I can do. It is what it is. I have to except that and thank you for the sites. I am no computer savvy. Will look up Compression garments after weight loss surgery.

[The Candidate 3,215]

@RJ'S/beginning

First..you are beautiful and valued as you are. You have earned your battle scars. You have worked hard. Wear them proudly.

Here is one woman's daily routine to tuck her skin in.

(1) control top panty hose

(2) wrapping ace bandages around her mid section

(3) Duct tape mid section

(4) another pair of control top pany hose

(5) Long Spanx to cinch in her thighs

(6) another pair of spanx to lift boobs and cover all the layers previous.

There really are a million and one uses for duct tape! ????

[Mountaingal 322]

You said today was feel sorry for Jane day. I Hope tomorrow you will wake up feeling more acceptant and will find some great body shapers on line. That said perhaps as times passes your health will improve and at some point in the future you may be able to have this surgery. At least after weight loss surgery , despite all your problems you have a better chance of improving your health and living long enough to get the plastics down the road. My heart goes out to you.

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

@RJ'S/beginning

You are justified to feel the way you do. I'm sorry about all you have had to go through. Honestly you are beautiful. I'm not minimizing your experience. I have not walked in your shoes.

Plastics will not be in my future. At my age nothing has bounced back. Not much is in its correct place. Under the clothing I look like a Shar-Pei puppy.

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

@

That was a new use for duct tape for me.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I just really can't wrap my head around the idea that it isn't going to happen. I am just stunned. I never expected this at all. As far as I knew it was all a go. It hit both my hubby and I like a ton of bricks. No it is not the end of the world, but we cried together because we did not see this happening. It was a sure thing. And yes my hubby loves me no matter what. But it was what I counted on as a reward for all I went through. Do I deserve it more then anyone else. NO!

It was just part of the plan... the whole plan. The completion to a...... it was all worth it. Did I expect to look like a model. No. Did I expect to look twenty. No. I would lay in the hospital bed thinking about how wonderful it would be when it was all over. All over. It never even entered my mind that it wouldn't happen. It just didn't.

Some of you will understand where others will not and I say that is okay! For some it was never part of the plan. Some would not do it for a million years or if they were millionaires. And that's okay. But for me. It was the cherry on the top of all the work, hard work. I geared myself up for it. I planned it. It was part of MY journey. No one else's.....

Some of you have said some very heart warming comments and I am truly grateful for them.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

@RJ'S/beginning I can only imagine your disappointment, because I know how I would have felt. It is very hard to hear you can't "finish" what you started due to things outside your control. I know that must be a huge loss to you, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

I am glad that you are trusting this surgeon who sounds like he makes good decisions. If you have a problem with skin healing, the last thing you need is miles of incision lines that won't heal. Skin is our first line of defense against infection, so you definitely need to keep it intact!

I hope for you that you can come to some level of self-acceptance where this is concerned. I know it is easy to become focused on physical imperfections, but I'm pretty sure there is more to love about you! Hugs.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

@@MichiganChic Thank you for your understanding.

I am already coming to terms with it. My sister God bless her said that, "I am not defined by my shell but who I am on the inside. Think of the reasons you did this in the first place."

And when I did it had nothing to do with the finish look. It was all about my grand daughter and moving and walking and energy and living.

I feel like this was just another part of the journey now and it is time to go forward with my life and enjoy what WLS has allowed me to become.

I just needed to get through the disappointment and I am almost there.

[rejeannern 10]

check out swimsuits that extend to elbows and knees, yes they make them. Search for swimmer's specialty swimsuits, but keep in mind, you have to let your skin and body breath on a regular basis or skin integrity issues will arise. Keep the full suits for infrequent use. I admire you for your hard work and want you to know you are a beautiful person and have much to offer to those of us who are just starting this similar journey. God Bless.

[Sweet Pee 349]

@RJ

I have "known" you for a long time here on BPal. I am sorry about your disappointing news. Your health is very important, and I am happy you have doctors that care for you. You are a wise woman to listen to your doctors.

http://www.hsn.com/products/rhonda-shear-smooth-tootsie-seamless-shaping-leggings/6460197?variant=6560243

I bough this item from Home Shopping Network. (HSN) These beautiful shapers really helped to hide my extra skin before my plastics. In fact, I still have them. Now, I wear them keep my legs warm, because the cold winter weather makes the arthritis in my knee flare up.

[Terri Lynn1383837796 139]

I'm down 170 lbs...I cannot afford and my insurnce will not pay for platic surgery. I wear control top panty hose and a good expensive underwire bra....it works for me...btw...you are no monster! We all have those days...hopefully tomorrow will be a better one. Hugs!!

[ausmith 374]

I am not getting my plastic surgery as I am to high of a risk factor. Because of everything I have gone through and still experiencing they feel that I could most likely die from it.

They are concerned that I will become septic again and this time not survive. They had a ton of reasons why it was rejected. I was not expecting that. It came out of the blue for me.

Here is the issue if anyone can help. Does anyone know where I can buy support for my entire body. By being able to keep it tight to me. Esp. The panni area which gives me the most issues.

I feel so disheartened. But totally understand the reasoning behind their choice.

But on the other hand I will look like a monster the rest of my life. I need to find a way to tuck it all in when I am in public. If anyone knows about how to do this I would appreciate it.

Thank you;

Jane

RJ why don't you contact one of the companies that make the support wear. Tell them your story, tell them what you need and see if they can make a proto-type for you. Once they have it right get yourself a couple.

Some of the doors you knock on may say no but keep trying you certainly arn't a quitter. I know if I worked for a company and I got a letter from you telling me your story I would do everything in my power to give you something that is going to give you some of the confidence you would have got from surgery.

Let's face it even if their cold hearted and charge you for it, it has to be cheaper than plastics.

While in Malaysia there were a lot of women in TOP to bottom Long swim suits. Something along the lines of that could be a starting point. Made out of the right fabric it could be what you are looking for. Good Luck you deserve to have this request granted you have been through so much.