Food Apathy

[magtart 603]

I was sleeved 12/2013. I have lost only 40 lbs. Most food is not appetizing to me. My calories come from drinking wine. I can't even think of something I would want to eat today. I used to enjoy cooking, but no longer do so.

I am retired, but spend my days and nights caring for my husband who is a cancer patient. He cannot eat by mouth so it doesn't matter If I cook a meal or not. I think about all of the healthy foods I love and then don't want to cook them. If I do cook something then I no longer want to eat.

For Mother's Day I bought $300 worth off jumbo Alaskan King Crab legs and some beef tenderloin for our MD dinner. My nephew did all the cooking and I still was only able to eat 2 bits of crab and 1 of meat.< /p>

I am getting worried about my food apathy.

[ShrinkingPeach 1,291]

It sounds like maybe you are a bit depressed. It's a lot to take on with caring for your husband who is ill. Maybe you could talk to a therapist? I am so sorry for your situation and your feelings.

I don't think it is true apathy with food nut a manifestation of your depression or stress. Hang in there and seriously talk to someone. Good luck!

[Babbs 14,680]

What @@ShrinkingPeach said. Sounds like you are under a lot of stress taking care of your husband (I'm so sorry, by the way). That may have manifested into full on depression. Lack of appetite is certainly a symptom. I would love to see you go to a counselor or some kind of support group to work through it. Also, have you seen a doctor about it? Just to rule out anything physical going on?

Hang in there. We all can empathize and support you, but it sounds like you may need a little more help in the form of a professional. Whether it be a doctor or therapist.

[seelessofme 63]

I'm in the same boat. I was sleeved 8/2013 and lost 40 lbs. I've kept it off for the last 3 years and now I've gained 15 lbs. i used to do zumba, but had to stop due to lower back pain. My exercise is a little walking. I don't eat alot, but also worried about getting back to pre-surgery weight. I really don't know what else to do.

[laguerr13 993]

I hope I can help you here, I work in psych, and have done so for over 16yrs, but when listened to your words I couldn't help but here a tinge if despondency, I think the reference to "empathy" is unknowingly masking the real issue, you sound very sad, and rightly so, when it seems we have nothing to look forward to, and are thrown into the role of caregiver, it is very easy to lose ourselves, take a deep breath, put down the wine glass , and make the phone call you are trying to avoid, getting help now is very important, this only gets worse, please ! You can message me if you want after to let me know what happened, and I apologize if I am off, but I am very confident that there is a problem that you will not solve on your own, " We can't be there for others if we are not there for ourselves"

[magtart 603]

Thank you all for you kind words. Maybe I do need to look for a therapist.

[LivingFree! 478]

I am sorry your husband is suffering with the cruelty of cancer. My heartfelt good thoughts are with you.

I hope you can take in the caring posts you have received here so far. When we are struggling with any form of depression, it's sometimes hard to think as rationally as we would normally. You are under an extreme amount of stress. And you undoubtedly know the dangers of transfer addictions (alcohol being a biggie) associated with WLS. Caregivers so often feel the need to be invincible. Taking EXTRA care of your WLS body and mind in order to provide the ongoing loving care and support for your husband has to be your #1 priority because YOU WANT TO. Wanting to means that you value yourself and do the basic things like feeding your body nutritious foods and exercising it, especially when you DO NOT WANT TO.

You didn't mention exercise, but I would guess that it's quite difficult to dedicate time for yourself to get it in. But even the smallest things can help, both physically and more importantly--mentally. Have you ever done any of the Chair Dancing DVDs (Chair Yoga, Chair Meditation, etc)? Perhaps it might even be something your husband could participate in with you? (even if bed-bound, just to be connecting with each other)

You mentioned that since your husband cannot eat, "it doesn't matter if you cook a meal or not." It matters for YOU. Could you maybe make a little arrangement with your nephew/friend, etc for a few months to help you make a week's supply at a time of nutritious breakfasts, lunches, dinners, and Snacks, all pre-portioned, so you don't have to make any decisions when it comes to meal times? Everything is all ready.

Maybe you can think back on the strength it took to make your decision to have WLS. Draw on that strength now. You made a commitment to yourself to live a new, healthy lifestyle and let go of bad habits that were not serving your body well. You ARE stronger than you think you are.

[laguerr13 993]

Awesomely said Livingfree

[Babbs 14,680]

@@magtart

You make me tear up. Anytime you need to talk or just vent hit us up. We are all here for you!

[laguerr13 993]

Accepting help from others is a big step to feeling better

[CowgirlJane 14,259]

I went through a no eating spell for emotional loneliness reasons. Your post reminds me of how I felt...only I was losing too much weight as I just couldn't eat.

Anyway. ..get help before your health is comprised. It feels so good to be physically healthy again and your body and mind need good food to attain that. Wine can numb the pain but does not make you stronger and healthy.

I also have some very practical tips for cooking and eating solo because that was an adjustment for me too. I suspect the despondency is more at the heart of things though.

Hang in there... I was a caregiver for my little sister and know how terrible and difficult it can be at times. Just like they tell you on airplanes. ..you must have your own oxygen mask in place before you can help others. Get help getting your own oxygen flowing ASAP.

[magtart 603]

UPDATE!

I am doing much better now. I am losing weight again, walking on the treadmill a bit, and drinking Protein again.

Unfortunately, I have been diagnosed with Alcoholic Hepatitis. I have lots of symptoms including weakness in my legs, fatigue, vomiting, and fogginess in my thinking. Since I quit the wine I can stand up in the kitchen long enough to make myself some tuna salad without vomiting. I still find it very hard to get up the stairs, but that is slowly getting better.

Thanks to everyone who contributed to this thread!

[Mountaingal 322]

Sorry to hear about the hepatitis but glad in other ways you are feeling better and trying to eat. Is there any treatment for your hepatitis? I hope you take a good Vitamin every day. Do keep us updated as people here truly do care.