'Bi' the Way!

[FindingMeFinally 6]

Surgery has changed my life - completely! I recently realized that my feelings towards my girlfriend have changed. While she still remains one of the most important people in my life, I am now attracted to (clears throat) ... other men. I can say that this surgery has empowered me to be honest with myself about who I am and what I want or should I say who I want in life. I use to believe that I would lose everything that I worked so hard for if I was honest with myself, but now I'm afraid I'll 'lose myself' if I'm not honest with myself.

I need to get this off my chest. So, here's the most outward admission that I can give, I am a Bisexual Professional Black Male!

Has anyone else had a similar experience? Even if you don't want to put it in this thread you can send me a private message. I love hearing everyones feedback.

You guys (this forum) have empowered me over this past year to get to where I'm at and I can't wait to see where the next portion of this journey takes me.

P.S. I'm no rookie to this forum!

Edited May 25, 2015 by FindingMeFinally

[Miss Mac 6,261]

Girls, I checked to make sure this wasnot in the Guys Only forum, and it was not. So I will go ahead and respond. I have a daughter who turned 39 this year and I thought for sure that she was just going to be an old maid. She has had a couple of serious relationships with men that did not work out in the long run. She finally realized that her joy was with the companionship of females. She recently moved in with her gal pal and they are engaged to be married.

I can hardly wrap my head around that, but I can tell that she is happier and has more peace of mind than she has ever had. She has taught me a lot about not being judgemental, and I am delighted that she is in a nurturing and loving relationship. It is definitely not the path I have taken, but she is living her life in a way that is meaningful to herself. I was also surprised that she had joined the roller derby crowd and has been taking training to be referee. I am so proud of her. She has found her truth and is living it unapologetically.

[sharonintx 1,275]

I think it's great that you are discovering things about yourself that were hidden away. I'm continually amazed at the things I have found out about myself since I decided to come to terms with the aftermath of this surgery.

I have spent a lot of time wondering why I never able to confront certain issues before. Why did it take having WLS to begin sorting out things that needed sorting out? I just don't know.

I've become very aware that for me, weight loss is secondary to the self awareness I have gained. Truthfully, while I love the weight loss and being smaller it really doesn't matter. I don't care if I never lose another pound. It has taken me my whole life to figure out who I am. If I'd never had this surgery I would still be a stranger to myself.

Good for you for taking the steps towards self discovery and best wishes.

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

For me, my weight was always been a literal barrier and buffer to keep me protected and away from hurt (obviously not a very effective one).

As I drop the weight and don't have the option of numbing myself with food, I have to face lots of things that I have kept buried/hidden or avoided dealing with.

That is why therapy and a recovery program like OA is so helpful in this process. They give me tools to help deal with many of the emotional and psychological issues that come up in a healthier way.

[Minksi 10]

As a person that probably fits into the 'bi' category I know how confusing it can be. I have always been big and in my younger years I tended to have relationships with other women. I think this may have been because I felt more comfortable with women... While in the last few years I have 'straightened out' so to speak and been with men. I feel this may be to do with my development as an adult, being more self assured and accepting my ...um... open(?) sexuality.?? ...I really don't know...

However, since my surgery (even though it was only a month ago) and having lost 15kg (or 35ish(?) pounds in your speak ) I am feeling more confident in myself and have found myself attracted to women again.

I've probably been no help to you at all but maybe just take out of all of it that you don't have to conform to any one sexuality label ('bi' included). Sexuality is more of a spectrum rather than distinct groups. I hope your girlfriend is open about such things and that you can talk freely about your feelings. The worst thing for you is to have to hide it. I know I've got it pretty easy as guys love the idea of bi girls and it seems socially more acceptable for girls to be bi than guys.

whatever you do, you need to be honest with her and with yourself. You never know... she may just be willing to explore your sexuality with you

[FindingMeFinally 6]

Thanks everyone for their feedback!