Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Keeping your Plastic Surgery a secret



Recommended Posts

I had gastric sleeve surgery in August, 2013. I've told five friends and one family member (and no one at work) about it. I had the surgery on a Thursday and I was back at work the next Monday. I've been extremely happy about the decision to have the surgery and also the desicion to tell only a few people. It has required only minimal effort to keep the sleeve surgery a secret. I often see threads on the forum about people deciding to keep their weight-loss surgery a secret.

I haven't seen threads discussing keeping any follow-up plastic surgery a secret. I had an extended Fleur-De-Lis abdominoplasty on the Friday just over a week ago. My intent is to return to work tomorrow, Monday. I have been out from work for six days. No one at work knows why I was out from work, although my manager and his manager know that I was out for "medical reasons." I have asked both of them to not share that information with others.

The challanges involved in keeping each type of surgery a secret differ quite a bit. The biggest issues in keeping the weight-loss surgery a secret involve performing a little sleight-of-hand concerning others watching you when you eat and also having a plausible explanation for the weight loss. Distracting people from watching the way I eat goes on even today, and as far as I can tell, it will forever. For example, when I eat with a group of people, I always put more food on my plate than I will really eat. Otherwise I might attract too much attention for only putting a cup of food on my plate. I always order Water with my meals in public, even though I won't be drinking it, because it calls too much attention to your eating if you don't get anything to drink. All these actions and many more that I haven't named are second nature to me and require no real effort on my part.

On the other hand, keeping the abdominoplasty a secret requires a very different action plan. I think most of the effort of keeping it a secret will take place in the next few weeks to months, then after that it shouldn't require any ongoing effort at all (This presupposes that no one will see me without a shirt. I believe I can make that happen)

Some of the things that are concerns to me about keeping the abdominoplasty a secret include being careful about the way I walk in front of others in the next few weeks to months. Right now, I can walk fully upright, but I usually still walk somewhat hunched over so as to minimize pulling against my scars and potentially making them larger. My plan is to minimize my walking in front of others (mostly co-workers), but when I do, I will walk upright. Another concern is that I will appear thinner to the people around me than I used to be. Even though I have some swelling, my belly does not stick out as far in front of me as it used to. I thought maybe I would wear two or three t-shirts to try to add back a little bulk.

I'm planning to minimize lunches with my co-workers for the first week or two back at the job by saying that I have errands to run at lunchtime. I also have concerns about what to say to my co-workers concerning the time off that I took. My current plan is to say that I had a lot of things to do around the house.

Has anyone on here ever kept the plastic surgery from co-workers and selected friends? I welcome any suggestions on how to pull this off.

On the weight-loss surgery threads about keeping the surgery a secret, there's often some user who chimes in and asks "Why don't you want everyone to know, are you ashamed of the surgery?" My answer to that type of question is that I don't want to tell the world because I think that limiting the information is what would work best for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I kept my first procedure (abdominoplasty, breast lift & augment, and lipo) a secret from everyone the first few weeks and then I gradually told a few of my best friends. I have since had two other procedures which I told my best friends about, however I have told no one else as I do not believe it is any of their business. Except for my brachioplasty scars which I have yet to show people but I'm going to have to do soon unless I want to wear long sleeves all summer all of my scars are hidden by a modest bikini so there is no need for anyone who is not seeing me naked or who is not someone who is close to me to know I've had extensive plastics. My arms are the only thing anyone will know about and oh well, that is the cost of not having to wear long sleeves. Only three people know about my sleeve surgery and if I could have kept that a secret, in hindsight I would have.

Your health and your surgeries are your business. It is actually far harder for me to not blow the secret of the sleeve and like you I tend to put a lot on my plate and use distraction to take away from the fact that I don't eat much. The fact that a lot of food tends to make me sick doesn't help that much either. At any rate...you are capable of keeping your procedure a secret and if you choose to do so, more power to ya. If anyone questions why you are walking a little stooped over tell them you feel like you pulled something in your back and you're trying to be careful to not aggravate the injury.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am hoping those folks have something better to do than to stare at your physique and posture. Maybe, just be....YOU! No, you don't have to tell anyone about your surgeries, why do they need to know? This is your treat to yourself, and no one has to have anything to do with it. And good for you for doing it! Now, stand tall, strong, and beautiful, and go to work! Be proud of what you have accomplished; there is no need to hide, pretend, or disguise your beauty! If anyone absolutely HAS to say something, consider it thoughtfully, and respond accordingly. YOU are in CHARGE!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was still pretty hunched over at a week or so post plastics. I am more concerned that you are going back to work so soon and in an effort to hide your surgery, you don't take maximum care of yourself.

Heal well!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks Jane for your gentle, kind concern. Although going back to work soon does perhaps provide me a little more cover, my main motivation for returning back to work so soon was first that I'm totally ready to go back, both physically and mentally and secondly that I don't have the luxury of paid sick leave.

I prepared for it starting about two months prior to the surgery. I always work out 3 times per week at the gym with about 2 hours per session. Starting about 2 months prior to the surgery I added about 8 hours of cardio per week, mostly on days I was not going to the gym for resistance training. Both my sleeve surgeon and my plastic surgeon told me that was the most important change I could make (assuming I already had good nutritional status) to speed my recovery time after surgery.

When I arranged the time off from work I arranged for one week off for sure and possibly all or part of a second week. My number one concern was to make sure that I had good healing. I had read all the stories about the intensity and duration of the pain. Honestly mine wasn't really that bad. I spent one night in the hospital. The first two days I had quite a bit of pain, especially if I did anything involving my poor plicated abs. By the third day I was no longer taking pain pills during the day. That was actually my surgeon's sole criteria for returning to work, but of course I could not have returned to work then. By Wednesday, the fifth day after surgery, I went outside the house and walked a few hundred feet. I didn't think then that I would be able to return to work by Monday. I also sat at my computer desk (practice for work) for about 4 hours total. On day 6 I walked a half-mile and was doing well, but later that day I had a series of coughs (I got my pillow by cough 4) that really took a lot out me and I was wiped out for the rest of the day.

On Friday, day 7, I drove for the first time since the surgery. I ran 4 errands. When I got back home I walked about 1.5 miles. I really should have done this as 3 half-mile walks with an hour of rest between each one, but it didn't seem to cause me any problems. I also sat at my computer desk for about 6 hours and didn't take any naps that day, although I did take some rest breaks. I realized on Friday that I had done more than I would have to do for a day's worth of work.

Saturday brought with it the ability to walk fully upright if I chose to, without feeling any pulling at all. I actually took it a little easier on Saturday, but late that afternoon I went out for a few hours with a friend to help them look for a car

On Sunday, day 9, I went to Walmart for a few hours, then spent an hour at Home Depot. I went home and rested for a few hours, then went into work for 5 hours. That gave me a chance to identify any problems areas there and a chance to fix those problems out of view of my fellow employees.

On Monday, day 10 after surgery, I had an early follow-up appointment with the surgeon, then after that I was back at work with the surgeon's blessing . I feel that it was a combination of luck and skill that got me back to work in this short a timespan. It was not simply a pig-headed determination that I would be back at work despite any cost, but without a determined effort on my part to build up for my return to work, it could have easily taken quite a bit longer.

My surgeon told me to begin with that I would probably recover quickly for several reasons and I feel he was right.

I know that everyone's experiences are different. Some people will have much more difficulty returning to work, even when their jobs are not physically demanding. If your job is physically demanding then I can see it taking far longer to be able to return to work.

I think that in this area, like most things in life, some planning and preparation really pays off. If you push yourself just a little too much, and overdo it just a little bit, the penalty will probably be low. If you really push too much and overdo it a by a lot then your penalty could be very high and you could undermine the success you are aiming for in the first place.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't tell coworkers (actually, they report to me). I did tell my boss, though I didn't have to, because I knew I might need to be off for a while, and I wanted to just have it out in the open. I knew that there would be follow up appointments that would require me to miss work, and it's easier to explain with the truth. That was a little difficult because a) it's personal, b.) I didn't want to be judged and c) it's personal :)

I just told everyone else I was having surgery, didn't specify what, and no one asked. Not one person! Probably, because I wasn't offering a way in for the nosy question. Ultimately, I did have problems, and needed additional time off, and had have a boat load of follow up appointments. I even ended up needing a wound vac and I went to work with it, and no one ever asked why, lol!

I also did a few things to de-emphasize the change. Everyone knows I'm on a diet, so losing weight or getting smaller is explainable. I wore a padded bra the size I intended to be.I wore Shapewear to look a little less jiggly, and I always had my arms covered. Afterwards, I had a lot of swelling, and I never lost a pound, and I wore all the same clothes as before surgery, so I don't think it was obvious. Now, about 9 months later, the swelling is decreasing and I've lost a few pounds, and I've gone down a size. It was not the shocking and drastic, obvious change I expected, at least in clothes.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wear scrubs and a lab coat to work, so it was easy to hide changes through layering. So my recommendation would be to layer up, and then reduce the layers slowly, over time, so the change will appear to be more gradual.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was a bit private about my plastics.

I only told my trainer and very close friends. One whom took Me to surgery and 2 people who helped out after.

Many friends know about my sons wedding in 2 weeks ( yikes) and I tell them I am working out a lot. ????True. And watching everything I eat right now... Lots of chicken thighs and veges .. Also true.

Professional pictures have that effect on me .... Guessing there will be a lot

Taken that day.

????so let's keep dancing, break out the booze ...and have a ball. ( old song for you youngsters)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I did not really keep my surgery as a secret, I did tell the people at my office about my liposuction surgery because I was missing work on the days of my appointment and I had to take a week off for the surgery. But then I know people who have kept this a secret because they want others to think that this is how they actually look like. Or maybe it's because some people think that it is a private matter.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It has been 9 days, I believe, since you posted.

How are you?

Come back and correct my grammar or.. whatever!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 4 replies
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

      2. gracesmommy2

        Hope you’re doing well!

      3. NickelChip

        I hope it goes well! Sending positive thoughts for a speedy recovery!

      4. AmberFL

        How are you doing? any update?!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×