Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Would like some advice about what to tell work



Recommended Posts

If all goes well, I should be headed towards Sleeve surgery on May 7th.

I need to initiate conversations with my boss this week and get my time off on the calendar. Getting the time off will not be a problem.

I have a good relationship with my boss and his supervisors as well.

I am not going to be able to go into his office and say "I need to be out 2 weeks due to surgery" and then leave it at that. He is going to be concerned (which is good) and I feel like leaving it open ended will be the most uncomfortable path to take.

So, I think I am going to say I am having a hernia repair. I met someone the other day that I had thought was a WLS surgery patient because they had obviously lost a lost of weight. I asked her for advice and she said that she actually did not have WLS surgery but did have hernia surgery (two hernia's actually) and she had to follow a similar diet that us WLS patients follow, thus the weight came off for her.

That planted the seed in my mind. I can simply say hernia repair and when the questions come about losing weight, I can say that I have to follow a diet due to the surgery and I am continuing the diet for my health.

I typically like to be straight up with people and be direct but we all know their is a judgemental stigma that comes with weight loss surgery and I don't want to deal with that (especially when I will be dealing with enough of my own emotions anyway).

Ok -- feel free to comment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am very strongly against outright lying, especially in a work situation where, if the truth is exposed, you could seriously damage your credibility generally and your relationship with your boss. Maybe you could consider declining to discuss the exact type of surgery? Just do your best to flush, stammer, and say something like "oh god, if I told you what kind of surgery, we would both be terribly embarrassed, but I promise you, I will be fine once this thing is fixed"? -- they'll assume it's some sort of hemmorhoidectomy or something.

But if you really can't do that and are willing to run the risk, "hernia repair" is probably your best option IMO.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I didn't have to tell my boss or HR anything, I managed to schedule my WLS during my vacation days. But I was prepared to tell them that I was going to have a hiatal hernia repair and my gall bladder removed - both of which were true.

I do not believe it is legal (don't take my word for it) for your workplace to require more than a doctor's note saying I need time off for a medical procedure. I can understand your boss being concerned about your health, but in the end, he's not family and he's not a friend. So I would feel comfortable not revealing the entire story.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

"Stomach surgery" and leave it at that.

Lying is probably a bad idea.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I told my boss that I was scheduled to have surgery.. I said I was having a minor procedure and would like to work at home for 2 weeks.. He said that was fine with him, and here I am on my second week.. You don't OWE anyone anything, and he's really not allowed to ask. If he is concerned, just say, Oh, just some stuff I've been putting off..

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think you need to do what is good for you. I Hansbrough told anyone about was because I don't want to heat it if others. I have done me research and I know this is what I want done I kudzu don't want to hear what others say who don't need it. So you go girl and jeep your chin ip5.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been pretty open about having the surgery. But I understand that not everybody wants to be. I like the vague stomach problems. Or straight up say "I am not comfortable talking about it. But I will be fine." The polite way of saying "None of your business" But I tend to be pretty direct.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Your boss really shouldn't be asking. I understand that he may be concerned, but the professional way of expressing that concern is to do things like ask if you feel OK now, if you need any adjustments at work in the run up to surgery, checking that two weeks off will be enough for your recovery or whether you might like to phase your return to work.

He really doesn't need to know the type of surgery to ease his concerns about your wellbeing - he's not a doctor, so even if you tell him what your surgery is, it doesn't tell him anything about your recovery time or needs. If that is what concerns him, he should ask about that, not the surgery type itself.

I just told my boss and colleagues that I was having some 'minor surgery' and no one asked any questions. I did, however, tell my friends that I had an ulcer removed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I just told the truth. I didn't want to really but if I was about to start losing weight at an astronomical rate I figured I'd just break the news and whoever didn't like ...well you know what they can do. People were mostly supportive, at least to my face. There were a few who gave me funny looks and I knew they gossiped about it. I didn't care though. About 6 months later those same people were staring for a different reason. :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You really don't owe anyone an explanation about anything so do what is comfortable for you. I was very open and honest with my boss about everything. She was very supportive which helped me not stress so much about work. At first, I didn't tell anyone (other than my boss and a close co-worker) anything but I later began to open up about it and told some people. For those I do tell, I use my story as a testimony. Someone asked me if I was "sick" and was that why I was losing weight. I was shocked they asked this. I told them I was sick but was losing weight so I would no longer be sick. One thing I have realized is that people aren't dumb. If you drop a lot of weight in a short period of time, they know something is going on. They just don't say anything. However, there will be some people that will ask. What you tell them is entirely up to you. You don't owe them any explainations.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My boss is a guy. He was concerned of course, and I just said it's ok, don't worry... just "abdominal surgery", nothing "major". Kept it light. (my first thought was to say it was girlie stuff, and he'd run away, lol)

I did file FMLA in case there was a complication and I needed more than the two weeks I put in for. Otherwise I wouldn't have told anyone about anything, and left it at that. But I felt better knowing I would have had the FMLA to fall back on if I needed additional time.

HR just files it away - claim they don't even look at the form. So who knows. All I do know is that I've never heard a peep from anyone.

And just FYI - big picture, I REALLY don't care who knows. There's no shame. I just have enough going on in my life that I don't need to deal with someone else's BS over my choice to have WLS. All of my family, and tons of folks out side of work know. It's all your choice. :)

Edited by amazon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I personally did not feel the need to tell my work anything other than I will be out for medical reasons, It is none of their business. I had my doctor fill out my paper work for FMLA and your doctor doesn't legally have to state the actual reason you need leave other than it is for medical reasons.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a very good relationship with my boss as well. I didn't think I could walk in & tell her, so I actually wrote her an email. First thing I did was tell her why I was writing instead of talking (that I couldn't talk about this without getting emotional). I told her that I had done a lot of research and had been contemplating the surgery for a long time. I'm taking sick & vacation time both.

She wrote me back the sweetest note telling me that she loved me as I am, but that she supports my decision. After that we've been able to talk about the particulars of dates, etc.

Do whats best for you,but like the others, I'd try to avoid lying. Good luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wouldn't lie about it, especially if you have any kind of medical leave available to you in the event that there were complications. I was completely honest with my boss & informed HR, who has paperwork ready in the event anything were to happen. My boss is very supportive & I actually have a pretty strong support system at work. There hasn't been any bad stigmas associated for me. The people that were more worried were at ease when they were more informed.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 2 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×