Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How many people kept Weight Loss Surgery a secret ?



Recommended Posts

I have read other post on this subject and there is always a mix, some who told no one, some that told a few and some that told everyone. I chose to tell no one, only my husband knows. Didn't tell my kids , my mom or any friends. I am not comfortable talking about what I consider private things with people. I know other people who had the surgery and have heard the comments like how they took the easy way. This is NOT easy and totally takes over your life , because it is your life. I didn't want to feel like I had to defend my decision to anyone. Why do people think that having the surgery is not ligitiment, thats it "cheating" ? If they discovered a single pill to kill cancer, if you took that pill instead of going thru cemo and radiation would they think that was cheating ? they finally found a medical way to help people who battle weight, people who have never had to fight the weight just will never understand how hard that fight is. Thanks for listening.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're absolutely right, it's no one's business but your own. And IF you choose to tell someone, that's the way it should be - by your choice. I think people say it's cheating out of ignorance, they don't really know what all goes into this surgery, and what is involved for after the surgery. If they say they do know what it's all about and STILL feel it is cheating, then I think they are probably just mean. Maybe I'm wrong, but I can't fathom why anyone would say or feel that it is cheating. Good for you for sticking to what you feel is right for you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No one from work. Told closest relatives and friends.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Told only my immediate family and a handful of very close friends. All of whom only want the best for me. No one at work knows and I didn't tell my in-laws. I tell my husband all the time, my surgery wasn't and isn't a "secret"-- it's private. There is a difference. Congrats on your success.

Shorty54, I am interested to know though-- What do you tell people about how you lost the weight? I'm only a couple weeks out so I haven't had to cross that bridge yet!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Being so excited about having the surgery, I think I've told everyone. I wasn't aware that ignorant people would provide negative feedback and so far, so good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

kndoster, Just like probably you and everyone else on here, many times have dieted and lost and have had the usual conversations about it, including what exercising I was doing like going to the gym almost everyday and walking. So now I just say that I made up my mind that I wasn't giving up this time and sticking to it. When people make comments and my husband is there he speaks right up and says, "she's working hard at it and I help her by walking with her as much as I can" . We also says that its not as much dieting as it is cutting way down on my portions and not snacking, cutting carbs, cutting out soda, ect. . So when I'm around people and we're eating and I only eat a little, it all fits. Every once in a while my husband will say "I can't believe we're getting away with this " lol. Maybe someone suspects, I don't know, but unless they are really rude they're not going to bring it up. All I know is if I had told people I would also feel self concious thinking they were judging me in a negative way behind my back. As hard as I have worked in the past to lose, only to see it creep back on, I feel like I deserve to feel empowered by a sense of accomplishment.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Only fiancee and my kids no-one else in the planet but my doctors. Plan to keep it that way.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...............If they discovered a single pill to kill cancer, if you took that pill instead of going thru cemo and radiation would they think that was cheating ? they finally found a medical way to help people who battle weight, people who have never had to fight the weight just will never understand how hard that fight is.....

Shorty, who is your surgeon? My surgeon uses that exact comparison! :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had planned on not telling anyone but have told a few. I am still preop. Last week I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes so I am eating very different and excercising a lot so in sure the weight will start to come off before I have surgery so I plan on using the diabetes route for my excuse for losing weight!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

And I meant to say......I have only told 4 people and no one from work will be told. If anyone asks my plan is to honestly say that I am moving more and eating less.

I am 7 days out....surgery is 3/17...I've got the luck of St. Patrick going in with me....hahaha.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

just like you... only my spouse. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After a while it's hard to hide , and everyone wants to know how you did it and you have to come clean. I didn't want anyone to know cause I was (A) a little ashamed and (B) if I failed ( down the road ) no one would know that I had surgery but after a year and 125LBS people stRt asking questions. !! I've learned be proud cause it's still a lot of work and mental stress

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've thought long and hard. My surgery is coming up 3/16/15 and my wife is the only person that knows. I want to tell me fried s but they are all SMALL and in good shape. And one friend love him I do, but he is a idiot and just wouldn't understand. I fear telling people for the fact of being judged. I still can't believe I have to have a procedure to loose weight. So I guess it has to do with me being able to confront the facts

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Prdgrdma

      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

    • NovelTee

      I'm not at all hungry on this liquid pre-op diet, but I miss the sensation of chewing. It's been about two weeks––surgery is in two days––and I can't imagine how I'll feel a couple of weeks post-op. Tonight, I randomly stumbled upon a mukbang channel on YouTube, and it was strangely soothing... is it just me, or is this a thing? 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        I actually watched cooking shows during my pre-op, like Great British Baking Show. It was a little bizarre, but didn't make me hungry. I think it was also soothing in a way.

    • Clueless_girl

      How do you figure out what your ideal weight should be? I've had a figure in my head for years, but after 3 mths of recovery I'm already almost there. So maybe my goal should be lower?
      · 3 replies
      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

        I would use that as a starting point, and then just see how you feel as you lose. How you look and feel is more important than a number.

      2. Clueless_girl

        I did find different calculators but I couldn't find any that accounted for body frame. But you're right, it is just a number. It was just disheartening to see that although I lost 60% of my excess weight, it's still not in the "normal/healthy" range..

      3. NickelChip

        I think it's important to remember that the weight charts and BMI ranges were developed a very long time ago and only intended to be applied to people who have never been overweight or obese. Those numbers aren't for us. When you are larger, especially for a long time, your body develops extra bone to support the weight. Your organs get a little bigger to handle the extra mass. Your entire infrastructure increases so you can support and function with the extra weight. That doesn't all go away just because you burn off the excess fat. If you still had a pair of jeans from your skinniest point in life and then lost weight to get to the exact number on the scale you were when those jeans fit you, chances are they would be a little baggy now because you would actually be thinner than you were, even though the scale and the BMI chart disagree. When in doubt, listen to the jeans, not the scale!

    • Aunty Mamo

      Tomorrow marks two weeks since surgery day and while I'm feeling remarkably well and going about just about every normal activity, I did wind up with a surface abscess on on of my incision sights and was put on an antibiotic that made me so impacted that it took me more than two hours to eliminate yesterday and scared the hell out of me. Now there's Miralax in all my beverages that aren't Smooth Move tea. I cannot experience that again. I shouldn't have to take Ativan to go to the lady's. I really looking forward to my body getting with the program again. 
      I'm in day three of the "puree" stage of eating and despite the strange textures, all of the savory flavors seem decadent. 
      I timed this surgery so that I'd be recovering during my spring break. That was a good plan. Today is a state holiday and the final day of break. I feel really strong to return to school tomorrow. 
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • BeanitoDiego

      Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I'm getting a into a routine for my meals. Every day, I start out with 8-16 ounces of water, and then a proffee, which I have come to look forward to even the night before. My proffees are simply a black coffee with a protein powder added. There are three products that I cycle through: Premier Vanilla, Orgain Vanilla, and Dymatize Vanilla.
      For second breakfast on workdays, I will have a low-fat yogurt with two tablespoons of PBFit and two teaspoons of no sugar added dried cherries. I will have ingested 35-45 grams of protein at this point between the two breakfasts, with 250-285 calories, and about 20 carbs.
      For second breakfast on non-workdays, I will prepare two servings of plain, instant oatmeal with a tablespoon of an olive oil-based spread. This means I will have had 34 grams of protein, 365 calories, and 38 carbs. Non-workdays are when I am being very active with training sessions, so I allow myself more carbohydrate fuel.
      Snacks on any day are always mixed nuts, even when I am travelling. I will have 0.2 cups of a blend that I make myself. It consists of dry roasted peanuts, cashews, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, pistachios, and Brazil nuts. This is 5 grams of protein, 163 calories, and 7 carbs.
      Breakfast and snacks have been the easiest to nail down. Lunch and dinner have more variables, and I prepare enough for leftovers. I concentrate on protein first, and then add vegetables. Typically tempeh, tofu, or Field Roast products with roasted or sautéed vegetables. Today, I will be eating leftovers from last night. Two ounces of tempeh with four ounces of roasted vegetables that consist of red and yellow sweet peppers, sweet potatoes, small purple potatoes, zucchini, and carrots. I will add a tablespoon of olive oil-based spread, break up 3 walnuts to sprinkle of top, and garnish with two tablespoons of grated Parmesan cheese. This particular meal will be 19 grams of protein, 377 calories, and 28 grams of carbs. Bear in mind that I do eat more carbs when I am not working, and I focus on ingesting healthy carbs instead of breads/crackers/chips/crisps.
      It's a helluva journey and I'm thankful to be on it!
       
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×