Why I am choosing not to share my WLS with the world.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Since the topic was so eloquently brought up, I thought I would share MY reason for not telling the public at large about my decision to have WLS. No, I am not ashamed, embarrassed nor am I being dishonest with myself. I am not protecting myself from ridicule or dissension and I do not care if my decision is a popular one or unpopular. I know I've shared this before, so pardon me if I bore you with a repeat.

I am a mom, a wife and a successful business owner. I am the VP of my HOA, I have held dozens of positions on the PTA both locally and nationally. I work with my sorority undergrad group, I volunteer at a women's shelter, I work with special needs children. I do mud runs, zumba and am a training instructor at my martial arts school. I organize charity 5ks, lock ins and I used to be a girl scout leader. I was a theater major before I wizened up about my talents and now I am a theater mom. I can't sing, but I can dance when I've had a few cocktails. I can cross one eye while leaving the other one straight. I've been skiing double black diamonds all my life and I am a diamond certified gemologist. I am currently writing a book on my field of business. I have broken my nose 4 times doing stupid things and still don't have a bump. I had a brain tumor. Both of my kids attend special high schools for extremely gifted children and they obviously get it from me, not my husband whom I've been married to for 20 years. I drive a minivan but I prefer to go offroading in a jeep. I am white Water certified in a kayak and a canoe. I have a wicked sense of humor and I hug strangers randomly. I am pro-choice, a libertarian, and a gay right's advocate. I could bore you with more, but I am sure that is more than enough to digest for ow.

I am *so much more* than someone who has had WLS. I would much prefer to learn about the person I am with than explain what a sleeve is. I don't care for my weight loss to be the center of conversation every time I see someone nor do I feel the need to be the advocate for such a personal decision.

When people ask, I tell them the truth. I sought the advice of a doctor and nutritionist. I follow a low carb, high Protein diet. I shake my ass a *lot*. I am eating healthier and have made the right choices for *me* to be successful at weight loss. I owe no one any more than that.

It is up to me to choose how I want to be defined. My choice is NOT as a WLS patient. If you choose differently, so be it. I will not judge you or shame you nor will I try to decide for you. Your body, your choice. Run with it.

[*Lexie* 1,486]

I can't sing, but I can dance when I've had a few cocktails.

I can sing like Madonna when I'm alone in the car. When other people are around, I sound like Alfalfa.

[Babbs 14,680]

I could play devil's advocate and say WLS is also part of what makes me, well... me. Along with many, many other things I have done and experienced in my 47 years of life that make me the person I am today. My struggle with my weight has been a part of my whole life and I'm sure, hell I KNOW, it has shaped me in ways both positive and negative. It has for all of us. If not, why would any of us do something so drastic as to get surgically altered to lose weight? No, this surgery does not define me or who I am, but it's part of this wild and crazy journey I call my life, and I don't mind letting people know that this is part (one of many) of who I am.

Edited October 20, 2014 by Babbs

[sophie'sChoice 269]

Standing ovation for Lipstick Lady......I didn't let my weight define me (although I did have my moments from time to time), why should I let my weightloss solution? I never knew how to reply to the threads where there were opinions that suggested I had ulterior motives for keeping my choice as private as I have. BRAVO! and thank you!

Edited October 20, 2014 by sophie'sChoice

[Beni 1,484]

A standing ovation to LipstickLady. I too want my life to be about me not my WLS.

[notgonnafindit 22]

I can see both sides of why someone would choose to or choose not to tell. I myself am still undecided. You all bring up excellent points :-)

[sophie'sChoice 269]

Although I stated I didn't know how to respond to those threads it seems that I have responded to that thread as I found it after yours LOL. It is quite a verbose response too....oops. Anyway, to each their own. I still like how you remind us that we are so much more than our surgery. I struggle with that sometimes because it seems to be all people say to me anymore....wow, you are losing weight, wow, how much have you lost.....argh...

thanks again!

[Dabliss111114 180]

LipstickLady should be applauded. I'm not nearly as accomplished as she is, but i also have had a rich full life, and at one time enjoyed being "fit" and able to do many things. Life can deal us hands of crappy cards sometimes and we all handle those issues in different ways. I handled (mis handled) some of mine by overeating. I miss the person I used to be and want that person back before I get too old to do all the things I used to do.

I don't want my surgery to define who I am either. With the exception of my family and a couple very close friends I haven't told the entire world. That's why I joined this group. Here we can all be open and honest and give and get the support we need or want without making the WLS the center of our day to day life. We'll hopefully make new friends along this journey within this group, and that'll be a lifelong bonus as far as I'm concerned.

[McButterpants 2,846]

You're my girl crush, @@LipstickLady!

I couldn't agree more...I just posted again on that other thread.

I am nearing one year post op - this process has been so much more difficult than I thought it would be, but it has given me back more than I expected. I am so much more than the sleeve - I'm a wife, mom, daughter, sister, crazy aunt and loyal friend. I love to work out, I do hot yoga 4-5 times a week, hike mountains, and love taking my dog for walks. I'm looking at renting cross country skis this winter to give that a whirl for the first time in 20 years. I also just signed up for a 5K Turkey Trot.

Just as I don't stand up in the mall and proclaim that I had weight loss surgery, I don't tell people about the other stuff I do...But, I don't bash people for deciding they want to tell everyone they had WLS. I don't see why people think that not telling people is lying - I just don't get that. I admire people that can strike up a conversation with someone and tell them about their WLS - that just isn't in my DNA. I will talk to a stranger and ask all kinds of questions and show interest in their lives, I am just a person that doesn't share stuff with others.

[Jencathen 16]

I didn't share it just like I don't share most of my medical issues with people. Also, I don't need to explain myself to anyone. I'm a 41 year old adult and if I am perfectly capable of making a decision and do not need or want to hear about your cousin's second cousin twice removed that died. So, I have spared myself the inevitable conversation where I tell them I'm a nurse and know how to research and have done so for 2 years prior to my decision and any procedure has the risk of death. The couple of people I did tell after I was asked directly pretty much reminded me why I don't volunteer information.

But at the end of the day... each individual has the right to disclose or not disclose that information. There is no right or wrong answer, just personal preference.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I could play devil's advocate and say WLS is also part of what makes me, well... me. Along with many, many other things I have done and experienced in my 47 years of life that make me the person I am today. My struggle with my weight has been a part of my whole life and I'm sure, hell I KNOW, it has shaped me in ways both positive and negative. It has for all of us. If not, why would any of us do something so drastic as to get surgically altered to lose weight? No, this surgery does not define me or who I am, but it's part of this wild and crazy journey I call my life, and I don't mind letting people know that this is part (one of many) of who I am.

Good for you! I totally support your decision. I hope you would never attempt to shame me for making mine.

[kvlasy 195]

When someone asks me how I lost weight, each time I decide how to answer. I choose, on the spot, how much or how little to share.....about myself. I equate it to sharing how many kids and grandkids I have or how long I've been married. It depends on my comfort level with the person asking. Over sharing isn't overt honesty. In my opinion it's just over sharing. And just because someone steps over a privacy line of mine by asking how I did it, doesn't mean that I'm being dishonest by omitting every detail. I share what I want and only with those I choose.

Edited October 20, 2014 by kvlasy

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I think you had way more freakin fun then I ever did @@LipstickLady I never knew you were such a wild card! But I agree with you. WLS does not define me either. I like to think other things have and that they have made me who I am. No how much I weighed or weigh now.

I do think that helping other WLS patients is a must. And you do that as well.

Bravo for your exposure of the real girl behind the lips!

[TheCurvyJones 721]

I didn't want anyone watching me and playing audience participation in trying to be a part of my journey. I know what to eat and when. You don't need to ask if I can/should have what I am about to have. Mind you, I got me taken care of.

I told very few people. SOme of my closest friends don't know. Because it's none of their BUSINESS and people can think that's BS all they want. Not all of us are open books and not all of us want to live this journey out loud.

I got ME and MY JOURNEY handled. You worry about yours.

[MisforMimi 760]

@@LipstickLady,

You did all that fat???? Dang!

Did you have co-morbid conditions? Or was your surgery more to avoid them down the line? Mobility certainly did not seem to be an issue.

I'm way more impressed by your accomplishments than your surgery! But I guess that was the point, huh? LOL

Cheers!