10 month Post op - the whole story possible tmi

[sapMegan 79]

I spent years using food as a comfort source. I had three children, lost the weight and then immediately put it back on plus some. I tried diets. They never worked for longer than a month or two and I always rebounded back. When I found myself forcing myself to vomit I knew that I needed to do something different. I decided in October 2013 to do the surgery (I had been researching for over a year). My husband's cousin had gotten the surgery with great success so I set up my appointments and got scheduled to do the surgery November 5th 2013. Mine wasn't a case of many health problems or inability to do physical things. I got up to 285 pounds with a bmi of 43.31. I still ran around with my kids, went swimming, climbed around on rocks, rode bikes. I had to force myself to do it though. My problems were mental health and emotional. I could not do ANYTHING without feeling embarrassed. I want to dress up... ha ha ha. I can't look pretty. I go to ride the bike and spend the whole time thinking that everyone is disgusted by the fat lady on the bike. I have problems with anxiety and depression... It was time.

I had no doubts whatsoever. I felt terrible about spending the money because it was self pay and spending $18,000 on myself is just selfish right? I was so wrong. I'll get to that later.

A week before surgery I go on the sugar free diet. Vitamins, Protein shakes, sugar free popsicles, Jello and drinks. It was a tough week. I had one bad day, Halloween. I ate a lot of candy. But even with that day I lost 13 pounds that week.

The day of surgery comes. They are doing the sleeve and repairing a hiatal hernia. I'm fine with my husband but then they wheel me back to the pre-op room and I sit there waiting for my turn ALONE. THAT's when it all hits me. Oh crap, am I doing the right thing? Could I lose the weight on my own? Is it too much money? OMG THEY'RE GOING TO CUT OFF MOST OF MY STOMACH! I managed to sift through the craziness and calm myself down. I needed this. I deserved this. Surgery comes and goes I wake up in the recovery room. They immediately start shoving cups in my face. Lovely little one ounce cups. They have about a hundred of them all stacked up. Only 8 have Water. My mission. To drink them. But the nausea! HOW can I drink them?!? They have these lovely contraptions strapped to my calves, they aren't uncomfortable, kind of comforting actually, consistently hugging my calves and they keep my legs warm. The only problem is that I can't get them off because I am SO out of it! I can barely do anything but lay curled up in the fetal position in absolute misery. I have them move the table around so I can reach the Water and I convince myself I can do this. I drink a cup. Wow... I didn't realize I could feel WORSE! I drink the nasty potassium crap they give me and that does it. I am going to throw up. I call the nurse, tell them I need the things off my legs I'm going to throw up. They don't make it in time. Now those of you who have had children know a certain amount of bladder control is lost. When I puke, I pee. That simple. So they come in the room and I am crying because it hurts to throw up and I am dry heaving because I really didn't have much in my stomach and it can't get the stuff out that it wants out. And of course I'm peeing at the same time! It's not fun walking to and from the bathroom or standing up but it's more nausea than pain. And the IV ugh I hate those things. After then next time that they didn't get there to get the things off my legs they just left them off and I would just go sit on the toilet with a puke cup in hand whenever I tried to drink anything. The surgeon was very impressed with how much I drank. I don't think he realized most of it came right back up! Getting discharged the next day was a huge relief. I was ready to get away from the never ending cups and demands that I puke drink.

The drive home was not fun with the constant stop and go. Keep in mind it wasn't pain. I actually don't remember much of any pain. It was the nausea! I should have expected it. My stomach has always been finicky. Car sickness, throwing up 8-10 times a day when pregnant, motion sickness. Should have seen it coming. I got home and slept. I was literally hiding up in my room for about 5 days. Didn't even bother going downstairs. I slept, peed, tried to drink but eventually just figured out I should just sit in the shower and try to drink in there. I would sit on the floor of the shower and forced down my liquid pain med (I liked it because it made me sleep REALLY well) and drink some water. Then I would continue to sit there as I heaved. I was supposed to take my Vitamins immediately. I couldn't stomach the chewables and my prescription Vitamin was huge. I would get into my stomach and I would feel like I had something stuck there and be even sicker. It took me the next 2 months to get up to my 3 vitamins a day. Meanwhile my stomach HATED me. Everything made me sick. Plain water made me miserable but the taste of anything sugar free was too sweet. I spent the next month living off of a maximum of 40 calories a day. I couldn't get all my vitamins in, couldn't stomach Protein Shakes and gagged on the foods I was allowed. I tried having different things but well, I gagged on most everything, or threw up. I was able to function (for short periods of time) after the first week. I would get kids off to school, cuddle with my 2 year old, pick kids up from school and then went to bed as soon as hubby got home. I would sleep until morning. I didn't get back to making it a full day until probably 3 months later. Even then I would crash hard on the weekends and often spent the whole day in bed. My husband was an angel through all of this and didn't complain once. Even when I stopped crashing on the weekends regularly I would randomly have a day I just couldn't do it. Meanwhile I STUNK. If you haven't read posts about stinking... you WILL stink at some point. My skin oozed a bitter nasty smell. No matter how much a washed, what I washed wish, how much lotion I rubbed on I STUNK to high heaven. Apparently it's a good thing, a sign that you are burning fat but it was miserable and made me feel super gross.

A lot of foods tasted different for me. I would have cravings and try to eat it and be really disappointed because it didn't taste the way I remembered it. And pretty much anything I put in would make me sick. I discovered string cheese and apple juice. They were all I wanted to eat, the only things that tasted good and didn't make me sick. Let me tell you, it makes it REALLY hard to cook dinner for your family when you know all you're going to do is reach in the fridge for a string cheese! I lost 50 pounds in the first 2 months. After that it slowed down a lot. I lost 10 pounds a month, I lost 5 pounds. Now I tend to drop unexpectedly 4 or 5 pounds, go back up 2 and float, go back down to the "lowest" sit there for a while and then it will start over again. In case that was confusing.... 9/2 I was 181. by 9/5 I was 177.5, 9/19 I'm 179 and in the next week I will probably be back down to the 177.5. I don't really watch my food a lot. Well let me rephrase that. I have accepted there are MANY foods that don't make me feel good so I don't eat them. I mostly eat string cheese and drink sugar free koolaid. I take my vitamins but Protein Shakes still don't work for me. It was emotionally hard for a while. I couldn't eat anything, much less the food I WANTED to eat. Food was my comfort and it was no longer available. It took a little adjusting but watching the weight change helped a lot.

I hoped that losing all the weight would help with my back. It did, for a while. It quickly came back with a vengeance and hurts in different ways. I started going to a chiropractor and getting massage therapy and that helps a ton but does not fix everything.

A lot of people would read this and feel overwhelmed and discouraged and think it was one of the horror stories. NOT SO. This surgery was absolutely the best decision I have ever made. It is so much more than losing weight. It is being able to run and play and be stupid and silly with my children without feeling like everyone is disgusted with me. It's being able to have my husband actually reach around my body and not be squished well beyond comfort. It's being able to twist my legs up however I want in a restaurant booth. It's feeling beautiful again and not doubting it like I did when I was younger. Honestly I feel more beautiful now than EVER before. It's being able to dress cute again and buy the clothes I like. It's not being embarrassed for being me. It is freedom.

I have lost 106 pounds in 10 months and 12 days, I am 19 pounds from my goal but I'm not sure it's really my goal anymore. I went from a tight size 20 pants to a size 12. I can now wear medium men's shirts and large women's, I used to be in a 2xl men's. My boobies for the ladies wondering. I was a 42J and am now a 38G. They are very flat, long and wide. I lost inches in places I didn't think I had inches to lose. I wish I could give you details but I lost my paper My joints don't cause me any pain now days except for my hips but it is VERY rare.

My next step it plastics. My boobs are causing a lot of neck pain so I'm hoping my insurance will cover them. I'm planning to get a reduction and then I'm going to be going in for a circumfrential lift (LBL). I have a lot of excess skin and fat in my stomach and a lot of skin on my hips. Honestly if I can take care of those things then I don't feel the need to lose even one more pound.

I don't know that I remembered to include everything but hopefully this helps SOMEONE out there.

[sapMegan 79]

I forgot to mention I did lose hair, a LOT of hair. The loss started around 4 months and lasted for about 2 months! I just chopped it off so it wouldn't bug me so much to have a thin ponytail! Still worth it!

[Inner Surfer Girl 12,015]

Thanks so much for sharing your story! How far along were you when you were able to get in your Protein?

[finediva 979]

Congrats . You look healthy, happy and pretty. Thanks for sharing your journey.

[jessiquoi 623]

wow, that's the first i remember reading about smelling bad! thanks for sharing everything. you look wonderful!

[gypsylynn 11]

Thanks for the information. I enjoyed reading your story. I am just beginning on my weight loss journey but I enjoy reading other people's experiences.

[motherof5 364]

Wow, what a story. But look at you now!

[beautysleeve559 69]

Wow thanks for sharing your story. I am just 4 days post op and I have a little pain in my right incision site. No more nausea but I can't move the way I want to. I am still trying to get my fluids and Protein in. At times I think "oh god what have I done to myself" because of the pain and I think because I am getting tired of the liquid diet. But after reading your story I realize I have done the right thing and there is happiness and success at the end of the tunnel.

And u look amazing by the way..congrats to you and your success

[JamieLogical 8,684]

This is going to sound horrible, but I'm glad you posted this, because it makes me feel SO MUCH BETTER about what I'm going through right now. I just had my surgery on Sept. 1 (19 Days post-op) and while I've had some challenges, they all PALE in comparison to what you went through! My god, if I had to endure what you went through I don't even know what I'd do with myself. Here I am feeling sorry for myself trying to figure out how to start getting 800 calories a day in by Monday (I'm at 650-ish now) so I can start exercising. I struggled with Water some in the first few days, but I've been getting my 64 oz. in for close to a week now. I only had dry heaving the very first day after surgery. I started my pureed stage yesterday and so far so good, just have to eat SUPER slowly. Took me over 45 minutes to eat a scrambled egg yesterday.

But I am right on track. Been taking my 3 multi-Vitamins a day for well over a week now. Also taking 2 Probiotics, B12, Calcium + D3 (only getting one of those instead of the 2 I'm supposed to), as well as all my old supplements from before my surgery.

So, I'm super sorry that you had to go through all of that, but it makes me feel like I should definitely be able to "suck it up" when it comes to the minor problems I've had!

[Luvin_Life125 558]

Congratulations on your amazing success and sharing your honest experience. It is so important to know the negative aspects along with the positives. Thank you for having the courage to share the entirety of your post op experience.

[finediva 979]

What month did the stinky smell start? I wonder if this happens with a lot of people? Two months out, no smell yet>

[BarnGirlWK 98]

Thank you, you've helped many. And you are beautiful.

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Beautiful, honest, and so inspiring. Best of everything to you!!! Enjoy your new life!

[sapMegan 79]

Thanks so much for sharing your story! How far along were you when you were able to get in your Protein?

I still haven't found one I can stomach. They just don't set well with me and set off my gag reflex big time (which is super sensitive since surgery)

[sapMegan 79]

What month did the stinky smell start? I wonder if this happens with a lot of people? Two months out, no smell yet>

It may be that it was due to my SUPER low calorie intake. I started stinking within the first week and it kept up for a few months! Crappy to stink but nice to drop weight so fast.