Anyone else feel like everyone is against you?

[LisaLou30 34]

When I first started this process my hubby was super supportive and very encouraging but the last few days that has changed. Yesterday I had my first meeting with the surgeon and we were discussing what he had said and I asked him how he felt about all this and he told me that since I am too lazy to do it the healthy way then I guess this is what I need to do. What the heck kind of comment is that?

Then to top it off I had my first supervised diet appointment with my primary care doctor this morning and he told me that he thinks it will help me lose the weight however he worries that I will not be able to maintain it 2 years down the line and started pushing weight loss pills on me. I have tried him all and it doesn't help.

How are you suppose to believe in yourself when no one else will? I feel like I just got kicked when I am already down.

Has anyone had this happen and how did you move forward?

Thank you for listening.

[SleevedSharon 24]

When I first started this process my hubby was super supportive and very encouraging but the last few days that has changed. Yesterday I had my first meeting with the surgeon and we were discussing what he had said and I asked him how he felt about all this and he told me that since I am too lazy to do it the healthy way then I guess this is what I need to do. What the heck kind of comment is that? Then to top it off I had my first supervised diet appointment with my primary care doctor this morning and he told me that he thinks it will help me lose the weight however he worries that I will not be able to maintain it 2 years down the line and started pushing weight loss pills on me. I have tried him all and it doesn't help. How are you suppose to believe in yourself when no one else will? I feel like I just got kicked when I am already down. Has anyone had this happen and how did you move forward? Thank you for listening.

Hun it sounds like you need to find a new primary soon, one who supports and understands wls. He sounds pretty uneducated in that area and any sort of diet pills are 100% more ineffective as wls. The same goes for your husband, he isn't in your shoes so it may be hard for him to understand how hard it is to lose weight. Everyone on the other side of "overweight" says that by doing the surgery we are either lazy or taking the easy way out. You have to do this for YOU, not your husband, not anyone but YOU or it will never work. Find a local support group and attend it. I attend one once a month through my hospital and love it!! It wouldn't be a bad idea to have your husband attend as well. My husband goes and sometimes mingles with the spouses of those who have had wls and they support each other on how to support us Sleevers lol stay positive!!

[Katcloudshepherd 630]

LisaLou30,

I agree with SleevedSharon. I don't believe your primary care doctor understands that if you could use pills to lose weight you wouldn't need the surgery for goodness sake! It never ceases to amaze me the ignorance of some of the medical community. IF we could do it without a surgical tool---DUH we wouldn't be seeking the surgical tool! I'll never forget going to a gynecologist about ten years ago for a yearly pap smear and ALL she talked about was how I needed to loose weight. First and LAST time I saw her.

I think your husband could definitely benefit from support group meetings, especially seeing other males there that have had WLS.

Good luck,

Kathleen

[JamieLogical 8,684]

he told me that since I am too lazy to do it the healthy way then I guess this is what I need to do.

Punch him in the face!

[LisaLou30 34]

Punch him in the face!

LOL! I really wanted to! Thanks you made me smile.

[Recycled 2,182]

Tell Hubby that you can't believe he is so lazy that he has to drive a car to get somewhere........

It's a tool....A means to and end.!! No different than a car. Sure.........the ole fashioned way will work. If you actually can tolerate it. I no longer can. Why not? I don't know. What I do know is I don't have another lifetime to figure it out or change. I need the weight gone now. And I will use whatever I can. Nuf said about How to lose it.

Now, about other people's imput. Who cares. It's your life. And you're the one that has to live it. However I lose the weight, I will obtain the same benefits of MY improved lifestyle regardless of what anyone else had to say about it or how I went about doing it. Make your own decisions and tune out and avoid the negative.

[Arlene G 31]

First of all the husband; I agree, punch the guy. I assume he is supportive most of the time, just not now. Maybe he is scared the relationship may change when you lose the weight.

As for the doctor, I do agree that I would find a new doctor. Why in the world is he pushing weight loss pills on you?

I had the same issue with my doctor, only it was with his PA.

He told me to start diet pills first, I told him I suffer from anxiety and would try them...I lied. I was told by the pharmacist not to take them because of my anxiety disorder. So I went back to the doctor and told him I couldn't take them because they made me feel awful.

Why doctors push this option to a morbidly obese person, I have no idea.

Be persistent with whomever you see as your primary care doctor. Do not accept less than what it is that you want.

Best of luck to you. We are here for you.

[New nana 30]

Don't worry about these people! The want for surgery and to be healthy has to come from you and you alone. Maybe your hubby and yourself can go to some therapy sessions? I agree with above that you need a new PCP. Mine is completely on board. I had my VSG on Monday 8/18. No regrets. I am doing this for me because I want to LIVE and be a part of my children's and grandchildren's lives. DEVIL defeated <3

[Rogofulm 2,440]

Hey LL30... Wow - your post really pissed me off! Does your husband frequently say stuff like that, or is this kind of out of the norm? Like someone said above, he may feel threatened at the thought of you successfully losing weight. Even my uber-supportive wife has made cracks about my getting thin and leaving her for a younger model. That would never happen, of course, but the fact that she even makes jokes about it shows that it's a tough adjustment for our spouses as well. If he's only been a d**k this one time, maybe you can give him a break. But tell him that you need and expect his support from here on out. You don't need to hear about losing weight "the old fashioned way" ever again. I agree that bringing him to support group meetings would be helpful and enlightening for him. As for the doctor.... It's time to sh1tcan that a$$h0le and get a new PCP who's up with the current trends. WLS has been shown to be the most effective tool for permanent weight loss. Do some people fail? Sure. But many more succeed long-term than through any other method. I've lost (and found) nearly 100 pounds at least three times in my life. But this time, they're gonna stay off. Why? Because I have the best tool available for keeping myself in line. A smaller appetite! And as for the supervised weight loss program, you don't need your PCP. You can go to a surgeon/hospital-referred nutritionist, or even to Weight Watchers meetings (at least in my state). Good luck in your journey! Sounds like for you the hardest part will be just getting the train rolling. Be strong. You have an incredibly supportive community right here, and if you can attend bariatric support groups, you'll get even more strength in person. Best wishes!

[haleytrim 244]

You said it Rog. Lisa, maybe you could suggest that your husband try one or two days of the liquid diet both pre-op and post. Just to get an idea of how "easy" it will be for you. As for your doc...SWITCH!

[LisaLou30 34]

Thank you everyone! I am overwhelmed on this process but having this website and the support is amazing! I have called my surgeon and asked if he had a recommendation for a new doctor that is more open to surgery and he provided a few names. For my husband he usually isn't such a butt so I am going to give him a break but I told him at lunch that those comments are not welcomed and his attitude needed to change.

Thanks again everyone for your words of advice and support.

[Rogofulm 2,440]

Good for you, Lisa! That wasn't easy. You should be proud of standing up for yourself!

[CocoPebbles1030 59]

Hey there. I'm also in the beginning stages -- just met with the surgeon on Monday. Forget abut the primary care physician. Remember, doctors make more money when we're sick and on medications. Of course he/she doesn't want you to lose the weight. Hubby sounds scared. Don't sweat it. He is just a bit nervous of what will happen when you do lose the weight. He will come around. Get your support from friends here and support groups. Keep your chin up. Do it for you, even if you feel like you're doing it alone.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

When I first started this process my hubby was super supportive and very encouraging but the last few days that has changed. Yesterday I had my first meeting with the surgeon and we were discussing what he had said and I asked him how he felt about all this and he told me that since I am too lazy to do it the healthy way then I guess this is what I need to do. What the heck kind of comment is that?

Then to top it off I had my first supervised diet appointment with my primary care doctor this morning and he told me that he thinks it will help me lose the weight however he worries that I will not be able to maintain it 2 years down the line and started pushing weight loss pills on me. I have tried him all and it doesn't help.

How are you suppose to believe in yourself when no one else will? I feel like I just got kicked when I am already down.

Has anyone had this happen and how did you move forward?

Thank you for listening.

Just smile LisaLou and focus on your plan. We get rather tense about the surgery and I think negative comments just irritate us. Smile and say I plan to prove you wrong LOL, and you know what, you will. This is the greatest thing my husband have ever done for ourselves. There is so much joy in our life compared to before. I look forward to hearing about your success, and please ignore anything negative. My husband insisted his business (surgery) was not to be spread by me, and I am very thankful. No one knows we had the sleeve and we never had to listen to anything negative. I was in the hospital less than 24 hours. Was shopping within a week. You will be fabulous!

[JCP 619]

OMG I would ask your surgeon for a pcp referral stat. Then I would tell that stone age doctor to forward your records and tell him exactly why. As for your husband? I am absolutely speechless.