Lesbians more likely to be obese

[Sunta 4]

So, could there a group of women who might not really be gay, but would rather be in a psuedo-lesbian relationship, albeit not the ideal situation, than alone?

I highly doubt it. Why would a straight woman go for a woman rather than attempt to meet men who like heavy women? Nowadays they have entire online dating services strictly for heavy people, so no, I doubt this is the case.

Is it that easy to "switch" sexual orientations? If so, there must be a whole lot of stright people who just haven't found the right same-sex partner yet!

[amy 0]

I don't know the answers, but my friend seems to have settled in a comfortable place for her and if she is happy, that's what really matters.

[Lap_dancer 8]

sleepyjean love your avatar. Nice retro girl there.

.......................

Well the research is published in a respected publication, the study was done at Boston U. It says they looked at data collected, not sure where or who collected it to get the conclusion.

My niece and her partner are a family with my nephew Edison being born a few months ago!! My niece was freaking out because her belly was so big. She is a health nut. Very fit, very into organtic eating as well as her partner. They are professional women who have done substantial studies on bad foods and kids. I think we live in a time when people in general are overweight. So with that in mind, perhaps that is why the study reveals obesity at the rate it does.

The flip side to this is a friend of mine told me that she feels more comfortable with her body as is around women, gay women. She is overweight.

[Wheetsin 714]

So, could there a group of women who might not really be gay, but would rather be in a psuedo-lesbian relationship, albeit not the ideal situation, than alone?

I have known women who "became gay" after an abusive relationship. I don't think this means they were gay all along and just sort of realized one day she was hoosexual. I also don't think it means that, out of the blue, they suddenly found themselves attracted to women. I think that, through a series of events that changed behaviors and "what we're looking for", they found what they needed most in another woman. There are things that can happen in one's life that condition them to seek relationships with the same sex. This is neither something to fear or be ashamed of. It's a matter of finding someone who gives you what you need most at a particular point in time.

[Daisalana 33]

Well.. some might say I'm a "fag hag", because 9/10 of my best guy friends from high school are now gay. My sister is a lesbian, and I hang around her crowd. One thing I've noticed.. and since the idea hit me, I have asked all of them (the ones I get to know as for my sister's girlfriends/friends)...100% of the gay people in my life, were sexually molested/abused/raped as children. I don't think it's coincidence, and I believe like Wheetin, it can be a result of something. I don't think they were all born gay, if any. My sister, when she first 'came out', she was 13 or 14 and me and my mom were convinced she was just lashing out. She had extremely low self-esteem, and I knew of boys she had crushes on, and they would all make fun of her. I think it was safer to be with a girl, to say she didn't want them anyway, etc. Even up until she was 15, she would talk about my boyfriends.. "He's hot! Does he have a brother?", but then she really started having 'girlfriends'. They didn't reject her like guys did. She was molested when she was 7 by a neighborhood boy. I'm really up in the air about these things. Me and my mom decided by time my sister is 21 she'll be straight again. Once she gets out of high school and gets away from the self-esteem issues that come with it. But now, if you looked at her (she just turned 18 in April), you would think she was a boy. She's extremely boyish now. And she's got a really hot girlfriend..and as a straight girl, I'm saying I go WOW. LOL. And now I don't think she'll "turn back". We don't care if she's gay or straight, it's her life kind of thing, we just saw how it transpired. Rambling on...

[Sunta 4]

100% of the gay people in my life, were sexually molested/abused/raped as children.

I just want to clarify that although this is your experience, it is actually coincidence. There is no evidence to suggest any correlation between being molested and sexual orientation. (I don't count "studies" put out by conservative Christian groups).

Homosexual behavior has been observed in over 1,500 species. It's a natural variation of animal (including human) sexuality.

Here is a link to the article on Gay animals in case anyone is interested:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6066606.stm

[Lap_dancer 8]

Well.. some might say I'm a "fag hag", because 9/10 of my best guy friends from high school are now gay. My sister is a lesbian, and I hang around her crowd. One thing I've noticed.. and since the idea hit me, I have asked all of them (the ones I get to know as for my sister's girlfriends/friends)...100% of the gay people in my life, were sexually molested/abused/raped as children. I don't think it's coincidence, and I believe like Wheetin, it can be a result of something. I don't think they were all born gay, if any. My sister, when she first 'came out', she was 13 or 14 and me and my mom were convinced she was just lashing out. She had extremely low self-esteem, and I knew of boys she had crushes on, and they would all make fun of her. I think it was safer to be with a girl, to say she didn't want them anyway, etc. Even up until she was 15, she would talk about my boyfriends.. "He's hot! Does he have a brother?", but then she really started having 'girlfriends'. They didn't reject her like guys did. She was molested when she was 7 by a neighborhood boy. I'm really up in the air about these things. Me and my mom decided by time my sister is 21 she'll be straight again. Once she gets out of high school and gets away from the self-esteem issues that come with it. But now, if you looked at her (she just turned 18 in April), you would think she was a boy. She's extremely boyish now. And she's got a really hot girlfriend..and as a straight girl, I'm saying I go WOW. LOL. And now I don't think she'll "turn back". We don't care if she's gay or straight, it's her life kind of thing, we just saw how it transpired. Rambling on...

You know you brought something up here that is cause to think. It's not something anyone likes to talk about but but the abuse thing is one thing and to feel safer with women, yeah, I've heard that. But you know I work at a middle school and one week a girl will be a lesbian, the next week she's straight. It's like it's a fad but I really think it's more for attention. You know, let's see how extreme I can be. My daughter had a friend back in elementary school who looked like a boy, acted like a boy. I swore she would grow up and be gay. She didn't. She is in the military and got married a few months ago. Another friend of my daughters was a young boy she was sweet on in 7th grade. He LOVED to dress up, loved his white jeans. We would drive them to the movies because he lived far out from town and his family wouldn't drive him anywhere. He graduated high school with top honors, moved in with my daughter's girlfriend and then came out a few years after high school.

Back on topic, I also think if your circle of influence tends to be obese, you hang with who you are most comfortable with.

[Lap_dancer 8]

**Homosexual behavior.

My daughter's dog (male) is about a year old. He tries and tries to mount the other male dog we have in our house. It's to the point where I'm questioning his makeup.

[Daisalana 33]

Sunta- That's why I made sure to put in my experience, I do believe it is just coincidence, but it's an odd one to me. I have to say all the guy friends I had, I did not see it coming. The people you say "Oh they're gay, they just don't know it", never happened for me. I dated some of them (ongoing joke with fiance, he says I turn men gay.. hrm), some of them had the hottest girls in high school (one was with the prom queen), they were all extremely popular, athletic.. and then it was a little disturbing, right out of high school, they all came out, and they took dangerous roles in the gay community. 2 of them became predators.. I don't know if it was 'built up' from all the years of repressing... or what. I know this is getting away from the topic, but when it comes to being gay I really have a lot of mixed feeling. I 100% believe some people are BORN that way. Just like there are people born with both sexes (serious brain fart and don't feel like looking it up), and the parents get to 'pick one', and so what if they pick wrong? I saw a special on that once. Or the people who believe they're born into the wrong gender. There's been plenty of proof that genes play a role in our genders, and the confusion in our gender as well. The Meta-Female, etc. I just know in the scenerios in my life, I think some of it could have been different. I think, if my sister had NOT had such low self-esteem, if she had found a clique, if one of those guys she ever had a crush on gave her the time of day instead of picking on her.. I don't think she would have been gay. I really do not believe she was born that way. I think her being a lesbian has to do with finding a compatible relationship, whether it be a guy or girl. And she lives with her girlfriend and they really love each other. But if it was a guy who treated her as well as her girlfriend does, I think she'd be equally happy.

[Daisalana 33]

Woops, hit enter..

Lap-Dancer:

The dog humping thing is actually a dominance thing. That's just one way dogs show their ranking, has nothing to do with sex. :target:

My female boxer (who has never been around a boy dog), knows how to hump. And she humps my fiance's leg all the time. She's never tried that with me. I'm the alpha, and in her eyes they are playmates. So she is constantly trying to outrank him. She will also do more subtle things, like putting her paw on him to push him down, etc.

[Sunta 4]

<tt><tt>I think, if my sister had NOT had such low self-esteem, if

she had found a clique, if one of those guys she ever had a crush on

gave her the time of day instead of picking on her.. I don't think she

would have been gay.

</tt></tt><tt><tt>I will concede that since there is no definitive "cause" of being

Gay that science has identified, that perhaps some people

could be influenced by environmental factors, while others are

most certainly born Gay.

I for one was never molested and I am married to a man, but I am

mostly Lesbian. Believe me, if I could choose to be straight, I

would. It would make my life a heck of a lot easier! But I don't want

To repeat the same story I've already told on other threads at the

risk of boring people.

I am curious as to your sisters feelings on her orientation?

I also wanted to address your comment on dog dominance. That is

very true, it is about dominance for male dogs. However there are

many other species in which it is not dominance but in fact sexual

and in many cases, animals of the same sex actually partner together

for the long term and even raise children! Given your obvious

intellectual curiosity, you would really like the article if

you haven't yet read it.

</tt></tt></pre>

[Daisalana 33]

I just read it, it is an interesting article to say the least. And a clever exhibit, I'd have liked to seen it! It is against 'nature', because 'nature' gives us the drive to reproduce. It's odd to acknowledge it in animals, simply because in humans we have outside factors.. gender roles in society at the basic level. I wouldn't know where to find the information now, but there's very little animals that get 'pleasure' from sex.. so I don't understand the correlation of, they are bisexual vs. they are friendly. Also, in humans, even if not gay, there are people who go 'against' nature. There are people who DO NOT want kids.. and that's against nature's design. But again, how much of that is their genetics and not their surroundings? You can argue our life would be better without kids.. we'd have money for ourselves, we'd be able to go on trips on a whim, etc. So is that a genetic flaw, or is it your surroundings? Just more food for thought while we're on the topic :target:

---

Edit to add Sutra, I did say I believe 100% some people are born gay! I'm not saying everyone has had a traumatic incident, everyone *I* know in RL that is gay has had a traumatic incident.

[Afrykanvyolet 0]

I guess its time for me to come out of the closet on here.

I am a lesbian overweight female that have NEVER been reaped, molested, or abused. ALthough I was always a bigger girl, I never had poor self image of myself. I was not teased growing about my weight. I believe my weight had more to do with genetics than anything.

I cannot factually say that I was "born gay" but I do believe that many are. I went to catholic schools from k-12 and never really experienced a friendship with a gay/lesbian/bi. If I did, I did not know about it.

It wasn't until I was around 24 that I became familiar with the "lifestyle." That did pique my curiosity. I began dating both women and men (never at the same time - too complicating).

5 years ago, I met a wonderful female and we have been together ever since. She is my biggest supporter and I lover her dearly. She is by no means overweight - very athletic shaped. She said she always knew she was gay and was Never raped, molested, or abused.

I care about my appearance, I always have. I am a girlie girl - love clothes, shoes, makeup, jewelry, perfume, etc. My man decision for getting the lap band was to be healthy. We are going to have children in a few years and I want my body to be healthy.

I consider myself a beautiful African American female. I do not subscribe to the idea that you have to be skinny to be beautiful. I love being plus size but want to be a smaller plus size. I don't care about anyone's chart (weight/BMI) to tell me that I am healthy or beautiful.

SO........I guess I have to add myself to another statistic that is absolutely meaningless to me. I am fat because I am a woman, black, and now lesbian. Damn...lol...

[kity 2]

Ok, here is my story:

I've always been "chubby" and boy crazy. That is why when I told my family about my partner, they were confused. I love men...always did, always will. I think they are physically beautiful (the winkie has always facinated me;) ). But in my late 30's after I took care of terminally ill mother for 8 years, I decided to "try" sex w/ a woman. I had thought about it since I was 14 from time to time. Always wondered what that was like. All the while I was completely fulfilled w/ men, and had a number of wonderful relationships w/ great men.

I had no, no, no intention to become gay. I was just in a place in my life where I thought, why not. And as many of you many know...your desire intensifies in your late 30's. So I met her...and the rest is history.

It was mindblowing, intense, and more fulfilling than I could've imagined.

I feel blessed to have this person in my life. I live in the second "gayest" city in California. So many people argue that gays are born that way. I agree this is true for many, my partner included. But some of us DECIDE to be gay. Plain and simple.

And on a final note, how do I put this delicately...if your inclined to have a full sexual relationship with a woman...then your lesbian. I don't think true straight women would even consider having sex w/ a woman if they weren't a little bit gay. I don't know if I made my point, but I doubt women become gay because of low self-esteem. Maybe they do...I don't know every gay woman in the world, LOL!

[Sunta 4]

there's very little animals that get 'pleasure' from sex.. so I don't understand the correlation of, they are bisexual vs. they are friendly.

You're right. It's dolphins and Bonobos that engage in sex for "pleasure", besides humans.

But it brings to mind an interesting observation: Being Gay isn't strictly about sex.

Of those animals who don't have sex for pleasure, what are they doing when they partner with a same-sex mate? Not for dominance as in the case of male dogs, but for example, in the case of two male penguins who raise a baby penguin together?

To further that thought, if a Gay man is paralyzed from the waist down, and he can't have sex anymore, he is still Gay.

An 80-year old Lesbian couple who don't have sex any more because of lost sex drive are still lesbians.

Being Gay is more than physical activity for pleasure. It's who you connect with, who you fall in love with, who you feel attracted to mentally, spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally.

There are Gay people who are celibate for whatever reason, but they are still Gay.

So there is Gay "behavior" in nature besides sexual activity. Animal couples who are of the same sex.

And then we should address the dolphins and the bonobos, because many of them are bisexual and Gay, for pleasure and with long-term mates.

With all the rampant homosexuality in the animal kingdom, it makes me question how anyone could say it's not "natural".