4 month Sleeve Anniversary: 82 down, 77 to go.

[CrazyJaney 775]

Celebrating today as I've finally gotten past the half way point. Wanted to post to all those on the fence about surgery (as I once was) and for those in the early-early days who can't conceive of the success (as I once did). What a wonderful tool this is! It's still work, and it's getting harder, but it's a tool that really works. I track everything. I still weigh and measure most things. I am struggling to make exercise a part of my everyday life. But I feel so incredibly good. The daily pain of my knees and feet are gone. My blood pressure is normal. My cpap settings are the lowest you can have. My energy is improving. To be certain, surgery isn't for everyone, but if you doubt yourself preop, as I did, I want you to know that success DOES happen. I started at 325. I could barely move or breathe. It's work. Some days are hard. But it's so worth it. Now - to buckle down to get to goal in the next year. It's getting a little harder. The journey is far from over but I'm so glad I booked the trip!

[4me4them 381]

Thanks for posting...I'm still in the 3 month diet phase and I appreciate the honesty....especially today when I'm feeling kind of tired...which is always a food trigger for me. Good luck in the "second act"! Beth

[SherB 220]

Thank you for the encouragement. My surgery is on Wednesday and I am nervous as heck. I appreciate anything that helps to ease my nerves. You are doing wonderfully. Great job!

[GottaDoSomethin' 31]

My surgery is tomorrow and this is exactly what I needed to hear! As I ate my boiled egg, my last whole food for a while, and my husband who has never had weight problems ate sausage, eggs, and pancakes, I wondered if life will always be this unfair when it comes to weight. Hoping my new tool will help!

[onlybroomegirl 250]

Crazeyjaney I completely agree! I'm almost 5 months post op & have lost 70% of my excess body weight. I feel like a new person!! I can buy clothes in regular stores & am off almost all meds! I take 1/2 of 1 blood pressure pill. Previously I took 4 tablets per day. I also have had no diabetes meds since 1 day preop & my A1c was 5.1 three months post op!! I have more energy & am loving life. There are days that are extremely hard. I do believe a lot of it is in my head. It doesn't seem fair that my family eats ice cream & I have a sugar free Popsicle. But that's my new normal & I would take that any day over carrying around that extra 85 lbs!! Good luck to everyone!! This is a tool that can HELP you succeed!

[BladeFox 235]

Can we talk about exercise? Congratulations by the way!!!

I exercise but find no joy in it. My weight loss is slow and frustrating possibly due to peri menopause, age or other things, but how many days a week do you go, what type of exercise are you doing, etc.?

Also since you track calories, how much do you eat daily?

Thanks.

quote name="CrazyJaney" post="3539646" timestamp="1405264136"]Celebrating today as I've finally gotten past the half way point. Wanted to post to all those on the fence about surgery (as I once was) and for those in the early-early days who can't conceive of the success (as I once did). What a wonderful tool this is! It's still work, and it's getting harder, but it's a tool that really works. I track everything. I still weigh and measure most things. I am struggling to make exercise a part of my everyday life. But I feel so incredibly good. The daily pain of my knees and feet are gone. My blood pressure is normal. My cpap settings are the lowest you can have. My energy is improving. To be certain, surgery isn't for everyone, but if you doubt yourself preop, as I did, I want you to know that success DOES happen. I started at 325. I could barely move or breathe. It's work. Some days are hard. But it's so worth it. Now - to buckle down to get to goal in the next year. It's getting a little harder. The journey is far from over but I'm so glad I booked the trip!

[CrazyJaney 775]

I should probably have commented on the "mental" aspect of this journey. It deserves full attention. Honestly, I think the hardest part has been the mental side of it. There are so many physical changes and hurdles but the I think it was actually harder pre op and first month post op. The "new normal" as someone said has been a little hard but not as hard as the preop worries it induced. But the mental hurdles, challenges, changes have been enormous overall. Facing your inner most fears about facing food addiction when you have essentially been in denial for 30-40 years was huge for me. That was my preop journey. I had no idea how preparing for surgery would force me to do that and I think it left me in a much better place emotionally when I was post op. Food/carb addiction, how others see me, how I see myself, feelings of shame, of resentment for things in my past all came up and out on this journey. But I tell you, I'm more at peace now than I've been in 20+ years, maybe ever. This website helped me more emotionally and to prepare mentally more than anything (which is why I posted today). I have a great surgeon and team but it's very "clinical" unlike the fellowship here (although you'll find some gratuitous snarky-snarks) and the accountability is what really helped me. They say denial has to fall to recover from something and for the very first time in my whole life, I felt I had a safe place to admit my failures. Shame is a huge, common theme for many (not all) of us. Reading and posting help me face that preop. So I encourage all those in the early stages to come here, everyday, and treat it like homework. I looked at others who were successful and I saw some common themes. The were honest. They tracked faithfully. They put Protein first always. They plan ahead. They exercise. All those have worked for me too.

Essentially, I eat 800-1000 calories a day. At least 60 G Protein. I aim for 50 or less of carbs but a few days a week I'm closer to 70. I struggle to make exercise a priority but I do Water aerobics and treadmill/weights (typical gym stuff). I've also started riding my bike (which I suck at). Basically I MOVE! At 325 I avoided moving. Now I'm game to try anything. Unfortunately I am so not athletic. I wish to God I had that natural inclination but it's always been hard. My energy was GONE the first 6 weeks post op. It's much better now but I still fatigue a lot when I exercise. I do feel better after, but during is a challenge. I use My Fitness Pal every day. Even when I don't eat clean. I hate the word "cheat". I struggle between 2 mind sets of "NO CHEATING EVER, EVER. EVER" and "moderation". The good thing about the sleeve and WLS in general is you have a forced moderation. I have good restriction. I hope that my new habits are reinforced for when I don't feel the fullness so much. My habits are good. I have a bite of something "bad" every now and then but it's literally one bite and I'm done/satisfied. The true miracle for me is the way my brain senses hunger. Before, my hunger would feel like a 12 out of 10, truly a panicky feeling. I still get hungry and feel a need to eat, but it's more like a 5 at worst, usually less. I have cravings, but nothing like I had before. I make good choices. That's a mantra I've used. I MAKE GOOD CHOICES. That and food IS NOT LOVE. FOOD IS NOT COMFORT. Those have helped. My goal is 165. I'm 5'6. I started at 325 (332 was undocumented but I know I was there once). I'd really love to ski again so 165 might be not low enough but no matter what, I don't think I'll get there without exercise.

I have absolutely no regrets other than I waited until 45 to have surgery. I'm so unbelievably thankful today. A year ago I was miserable beyond words. Life is not perfect but boy, it's pretty good! Wishing you all good luck. Reach out if you need help and post when you need to.

[Tammylb 174]

Blade fox the only time I enjoyed my treadmill was when I had a tv in front of it and a tape of a walking trail on a natural florida walking trail.

[Andrea K 33]

Celebrating today as I've finally gotten past the half way point. Wanted to post to all those on the fence about surgery (as I once was) and for those in the early-early days who can't conceive of the success (as I once did). What a wonderful tool this is! It's still work, and it's getting harder, but it's a tool that really works. I track everything. I still weigh and measure most things. I am struggling to make exercise a part of my everyday life. But I feel so incredibly good. The daily pain of my knees and feet are gone. My blood pressure is normal. My cpap settings are the lowest you can have. My energy is improving. To be certain, surgery isn't for everyone, but if you doubt yourself preop, as I did, I want you to know that success DOES happen. I started at 325. I could barely move or breathe. It's work. Some days are hard. But it's so worth it. Now - to buckle down to get to goal in the next year. It's getting a little harder. The journey is far from over but I'm so glad I booked the trip!

I should probably have commented on the "mental" aspect of this journey. It deserves full attention. Honestly, I think the hardest part has been the mental side of it. There are so many physical changes and hurdles but the I think it was actually harder pre op and first month post op. The "new normal" as someone said has been a little hard but not as hard as the preop worries it induced. But the mental hurdles, challenges, changes have been enormous overall. Facing your inner most fears about facing food addiction when you have essentially been in denial for 30-40 years was huge for me. That was my preop journey. I had no idea how preparing for surgery would force me to do that and I think it left me in a much better place emotionally when I was post op. Food/carb addiction, how others see me, how I see myself, feelings of shame, of resentment for things in my past all came up and out on this journey. But I tell you, I'm more at peace now than I've been in 20+ years, maybe ever. This website helped me more emotionally and to prepare mentally more than anything (which is why I posted today). I have a great surgeon and team but it's very "clinical" unlike the fellowship here (although you'll find some gratuitous snarky-snarks) and the accountability is what really helped me. They say denial has to fall to recover from something and for the very first time in my whole life, I felt I had a safe place to admit my failures. Shame is a huge, common theme for many (not all) of us. Reading and posting help me face that preop. So I encourage all those in the early stages to come here, everyday, and treat it like homework. I looked at others who were successful and I saw some common themes. The were honest. They tracked faithfully. They put Protein first always. They plan ahead. They exercise. All those have worked for me too.

Essentially, I eat 800-1000 calories a day. At least 60 G Protein. I aim for 50 or less of carbs but a few days a week I'm closer to 70. I struggle to make exercise a priority but I do Water aerobics and treadmill/weights (typical gym stuff). I've also started riding my bike (which I suck at). Basically I MOVE! At 325 I avoided moving. Now I'm game to try anything. Unfortunately I am so not athletic. I wish to God I had that natural inclination but it's always been hard. My energy was GONE the first 6 weeks post op. It's much better now but I still fatigue a lot when I exercise. I do feel better after, but during is a challenge. I use My Fitness Pal every day. Even when I don't eat clean. I hate the word "cheat". I struggle between 2 mind sets of "NO CHEATING EVER, EVER. EVER" and "moderation". The good thing about the sleeve and WLS in general is you have a forced moderation. I have good restriction. I hope that my new habits are reinforced for when I don't feel the fullness so much. My habits are good. I have a bite of something "bad" every now and then but it's literally one bite and I'm done/satisfied. The true miracle for me is the way my brain senses hunger. Before, my hunger would feel like a 12 out of 10, truly a panicky feeling. I still get hungry and feel a need to eat, but it's more like a 5 at worst, usually less. I have cravings, but nothing like I had before. I make good choices. That's a mantra I've used. I MAKE GOOD CHOICES. That and food IS NOT LOVE. FOOD IS NOT COMFORT. Those have helped. My goal is 165. I'm 5'6. I started at 325 (332 was undocumented but I know I was there once). I'd really love to ski again so 165 might be not low enough but no matter what, I don't think I'll get there without exercise.

I have absolutely no regrets other than I waited until 45 to have surgery. I'm so unbelievably thankful today. A year ago I was miserable beyond words. Life is not perfect but boy, it's pretty good! Wishing you all good luck. Reach out if you need help and post when you need to.

@@CrazyJaney - sure needed this as surgery is 4 days away. I am so close to having the fears overtake me an back out of surgery. i needed to hear of another success story.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

@@CrazyJaney ...

This is one amazingly wonderful post above. Thank you for taking the time a few weeks ago to type that. It has really made my afternoon.

I love your point about treating this forum like homework. And your honesty comment. And the comment about shame.

I think there's a lot of learning ahead of me.

Edited July 27, 2014 by VSGAnn2014

[CrazyJaney 775]

Andrea K my friend! You are gonna do fantastic! Have faith and go with it. I know the fears. You were there for me when I was stressed preop. You got this! So many good things lie ahead. I won't lie, the first week, not so good. But you get through it. So excited for you!

[CrazyJaney 775]

@@CrazyJaney ...

This is one amazingly wonderful post above. Thank you for taking the time a few weeks ago to type that. It has really made my afternoon.

I love your point about treating this forum like homework. And your honesty comment. And the comment about shame.

I think there's a lot of learning ahead of me.

All of my attempts at weight loss have been in good faith and with, what I thought, was a fairly educated mind about how to do it - yet I always failed. What I didn't do, until I was getting ready for WLS, is to address the emotional part of HOW I GOT to 330 pounds. I mean, how does that happen to someone? How can I be college educated, seemingly successful in other areas of my life and be squarly on a path to an early grave at my "own doing"? I had never really let go of my ego. I always had that bargaining voice in my head that rationalized and minimized dieting and weight loss. What this site did was to help me see that I AM NOT ALONE! There was power in that for me. I can't explain why, it just was. My parents are both alcoholics. My mom has 30+ years of sobriety and has dedicated her adult life to helping others with addiction. My dad has never gotten free from his addiction. I was exposed to the tennant of AA and the 12 steps a long time ago. As a teen, the foundations were laid but I NEVER really embraced the concept of accountability. I think this surgery MAKES me be accountable. It also gives me a control I have never experienced. That concept of "control" is one major difference between food and alcohol addiction. It is not a one size fits all. It's not like there is a perfect recipe for how to be successful in this BUT there are similarities of how people become successful. For an alcoholic, you don't go to bars, you don't take the first sip. For a food addict, it's not as simple. But there are lifestyle changes that support my goals. Again, I had NEVER, EVER considered the emotional side of weight loss (except for attending one, solitary OA meeting at age 23 in which I was so full of shame I could never go back). This time, at 45 and in a very different place in life, I was able to say "I am a food addict and the data (weighing 325+ pounds) supports that. I can't run from it." And all of that self realization brought a huge amount of shame in the beginning. I am coming up on my one year anniversary for my first doctor appointment (mid August). It's gotten easier to think about my failures in the past without shame. It's still there but it's less and less. I do know that if I get too far away from this site, the voices in my brain that tell me "it's okay to cheat today" start to creep back. This site, belonging to a community, helps me stay focused and accountable. I am far from perfect (I ate a half piece of cake yesterday) but I have come so far. People tell me how great I look and I minimize it. Not because I am not proud of myself, but because it doens't support success. When I say I have so far to go, they say "but you've come so far you should be proud". I have started explaining to people that I can't "celebrate" in the same sense of before. Celebrating tells my brain that it's ok to reward myself with an extra calorie or two or two hundred. It's a slippery slope and always will be. I still have a LONG way to go to get to a goal of "normal". The hardest work lies ahead. It scares me but I have some tools for success and I am going to keep coming back here checking in and being accountable. Thanks to all who commented - it helps keep us going!

[tsangia 7]

I love love love this site! I just had my first ice pop and it was amazing! Sleeved 7/28 thank you all for sharings your deepest feelings it helps me to know it's all normal

[ChaoticBliss 113]

What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing it so eloquently. My mental struggle is of course ongoing, but this has been the best tool for redefining myself both mentally and physically. I wish everyone the same success, even if their road takes them a different way to get there.

[bullymama 8]

Reading everyone's stories, life's journeys and pain touches me. I have a little part of each of you inside me, I just never realized it before. Always thought that my thing was eating.....now I'm thinking maybe it shouldn't be. I need to make something new and exciting my thing. Thank you everyone for your courageous good and sometimes sad/bad stories!