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Welcome to the Fan Forum: for WLS Family and Friends! This is the space in BariatricPal that is specifically for spouses, other family members, and close friends of weight loss surgery patients. Unconditional love and support get WLS patients through their journeys, and close family and friends are the main sources for many WLS patients.

I introduced this forum to welcome all WLS supporters and give you the support you need to keep being strong for your own WLS patient. This forum is for family members and friends of WLS patients. I also encourage potential and post-op WLS patients to post here. You can provide first-hand advice on how to be a more effective supporter.

These are some of the suggested topics for this forum.

  • What are the most important steps you can take to support someone who is preparing for weight loss surgery or who is following the weight loss surgery diet?
  • When do WLS patients want your input, and when do they want you to be a silent supporter?
  • What you need to know to know about the weight loss surgery diet and lifestyle to be able to encourage the best choices.
  • Where can you go for more information?
  • Taking a break from being the strong one…because sometimes supporters need to be supported.
  • What to do when you need a little attention instead of focusing completely on your loved one’s weight loss all the time
  • How can you prevent frustration with the new lifestyle? You support your loved one’s efforts, but you have made your own sacrifices, such as spending less time with your spouse because he or she needs to exercise, or giving up your favorite foods because they are no longer allowed in the house.

Enjoy the forum! I hope it helps us all become better aware of each others’ needs and ultimately helps us all become healthier.

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Welcome to the Fan Forum: for WLS Family and Friends! This is the space in BariatricPal that is specifically for spouses, other family members, and close friends of weight loss surgery patients. Unconditional love and support get WLS patients through their journeys, and close family and friends are the main sources for many WLS patients.

I introduced this forum to welcome all WLS supporters and give you the support you need to keep being strong for your own WLS patient. This forum is for family members and friends of WLS patients. I also encourage potential and post-op WLS patients to post here. You can provide first-hand advice on how to be a more effective supporter.

These are some of the suggested topics for this forum.

What are the most important steps you can take to support someone who is preparing for weight loss surgery or who is following the weight loss surgery diet?

When do WLS patients want your input, and when do they want you to be a silent supporter?

What you need to know to know about the weight loss surgery diet and lifestyle to be able to encourage the best choices.

Where can you go for more information?

Taking a break from being the strong one…because sometimes supporters need to be supported.

What to do when you need a little attention instead of focusing completely on your loved one’s weight loss all the time

How can you prevent frustration with the new lifestyle? You support your loved one’s efforts, but you have made your own sacrifices, such as spending less time with your spouse because he or she needs to exercise, or giving up your favorite foods because they are no longer allowed in the house.

Enjoy the forum! I hope it helps us all become better aware of each others’ needs and ultimately helps us all become healthier.

Good morning!!! Great minds think alike but I guess yours works faster!!! This morning my husband and I began to discuss an episode of Dr. Phil that he watched because the topic was She had weight loss surgery, now I want a divorce...he began to question and look for reassurances this morning so adamantly. I told him that he should make a page and explore the site. His suggestion was, there should be a space for spouses to exchange with other spouses about their experiences. I said, Alex has thought of everything, let me go and message him and see if he can work that out...but when I picked up my phone, hit the app and scrolled down....there was this!!!!! Absolutely perfect. My mom, my daughter and my husband are getting together this afternoon and we will make them a family page for all their questions and concerns. Reading the forums will be exactly what they need to calm their nerves since it worked for me!!

Thanks for everything you do. This site is amazing and when I tell people about it, I also tell them how attentive you are to the community. You are appreciated!!

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How do I get my 18 yr old daughter to support me, she is almost angry with me about doing it and it makes me feel awful but I'm still going through with it, my new life is the most important thing going for me at the moment. At one point she was ok with it till she found a 'new' juicing diet that is foolproof so now she's saying I'm just giving up and resorting to wls because I won't try it. I know her heart is in the right place, but she won't even listen or read about wls she only knows the crap she hears. On my own with a small handful of people that do understand is good enough for me, I love my daughter, I just wish she was supportive.

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How do I get my 18 yr old daughter to support me, she is almost angry with me about doing it and it makes me feel awful but I'm still going through with it, my new life is the most important thing going for me at the moment. At one point she was ok with it till she found a 'new' juicing diet that is foolproof so now she's saying I'm just giving up and resorting to wls because I won't try it. I know her heart is in the right place, but she won't even listen or read about wls she only knows the crap she hears. On my own with a small handful of people that do understand is good enough for me, I love my daughter, I just wish she was supportive.

oh and all of you here are amazing, thank you Alex <3

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How do I get my 18 yr old daughter to support me, she is almost angry with me about doing it and it makes me feel awful but I'm still going through with it, my new life is the most important thing going for me at the moment. At one point she was ok with it till she found a 'new' juicing diet that is foolproof so now she's saying I'm just giving up and resorting to wls because I won't try it. I know her heart is in the right place, but she won't even listen or read about wls she only knows the crap she hears. On my own with a small handful of people that do understand is good enough for me, I love my daughter, I just wish she was supportive.

This one is rough... I didn't even tell my 17 year old. My life would have been hell, before, during & after. I'm interested in any answers to your question. I wish I had the answer.

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I told my 13 yr old and she is so supportive. She didn't really understand the impact it would have on my eating until I started the pre op liquid diet. Now she says ya that part about not eating really sucks but I'm so proud of you and cant wait til you're skinny mom. Brings tears to my eyes.

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I'm preop and I've told my kids (23 20 14) and I got mixed reactions. My oldest lives away and said 'you like going under the knife huh' but she is supportive and wants me to be happy. The 20 yo is a fitness nut and told me I'm not so fat (his words) but is excited about sharing Protein drinks with me. He uses a lot. The youngest said ok and moved on. Too busy with his own social life! Lol

As a mom I'm trying to learn not to worry so much if my kids don't like me or my decisions. I try to explain why I'm doing stuff so they'll understand but it comes down to my decision

I'd talk to her and simply tell her that the doctors think this will be your best chance of getting healthy and then acknowledge her feelings are different. Tell her you think her opinion is important but that you are doing what is medically required.

Good luck!

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Thank you Gingersnaps, I will try this when the subject comes up again :)

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      So I guess after gastric bypass surgery, I cant eat flock chips because they are fried???  They sell them on here so I thought I could have them. So high in protein and no carbs.  They don't bother me at all.  Help. 
      · 1 reply
      1. NickelChip

        It's possible for a very high fat meal to cause dumping in some (30% or so) gastric bypass patients, although it's more likely to be triggered by high sugar, or by the high fat/high sugar combo (think ice cream, donuts). Dietitians will tell you to never do anything that isn't 100% healthy ever again. Realistically, you should aim for a good balance of protein, carbs, and fat each day. Should you eat fried foods every day? No. Is it possible they will make you sick? Maybe. Is it okay to eat some to see what happens and have them for a treat every now and again? Yes.

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      1. NickelChip

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      1. NickelChip

        Well, there is actually a formula for "Ideal Body Weight" and you can use a calculator to figure it out for you. This one also does an adjusted weight for a person who starts out overweight or obese. https://www.mdcalc.com/calc/68/ideal-body-weight-adjusted-body-weight

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