"I'm praying for you!"

[Not Applicable 52]

It sounds like you don't mind the phrase as much as you mind the not so subtle critique of your beliefs. That makes perfect sense to me.

[TheOldMeAgain 128]

I admit' date=' some of you definitely have valid points. Positive energy is better than negative energy. But I should probably clarify my thoughts on the matter.

When I made my initial post, I was thinking of family members only. I'm actually only telling about 4 family members, and they're all very deeply Christian. They regularly tell me they're praying to Jesus to speak to me so that I'll finally "grow up" and start believing. As if that's the inevitable eventuality and I have no choice in the matter. So I suppose that, for me personally, it can sometimes feel like a very subtle attack on my way of life for one of these family members to tell me they're praying for me. Of course, I always just reply "thank you, I love you too"and then try desperately to change the subject, haha. (I think I was also mad at them when I posted this because I had only told TWO family members and told them to keep their traps shut, but then suddenly two more family members know, surprise surprise. Dang busybodies.)

This absolutely doesn't apply to strangers or co-workers or anybody else who doesn't know I'm an atheist. With them, I accept the face value positivity of their statement, and move on.

I hope that clears things up, haha. [/quote']

I have to deal a very religious family too. While Im more an agnostic than atheist I understand where your coming from. Last Sunday I had to listen to how the pastor spoke to my mom from the pulpit. That someone they love don't believe and needed prayer but don't worry cause God said He will bring them to Him. I burst out laughing. The messages be so vague and board it can apply to anyone in church. But my family was very sure it was God speaking through the pastor to give her a message to pray for my soul. I have to listen to this kind of rhetoric all the time. One day I got tired of it. I begin to discuss God with them using reason and logic. They couldn't answer my basic questions because what they believe is faith based no reason allowed. It got heated and it wasn't long before the subject got changed. So now every time conversations turn toward religion and non believers I reference Bertrand Russell "Why I'm not a Christian". It does the trick all the time.

[HatheryOnHerWay 603]

I used to have a supervisor who was very religious, and one day he pulled me into his office to ask me if everything was ok. I was very confused and told him everything was just fine. He got this relieved look on his face and told me he couldn't get me out of his head all weekend, thought something might be wrong, and he'd been praying for me. I had NO IDEA what to say, so I just said "Thanks" and awkwardly left the room. So, so weird.

[SerendipityHappens 1,594]

I don't mind if sincere people want to pray for me. It's a way for them to show they care.. I'm not fond of the Zealots who talk of their prayers/relationship with God in an attempt to make themselves feel superior. I can't exactly describe the difference between a nice sincere offer to which I say something like "awe, thanks, your support means a lot to me" or the other kind which makes me want to punch fluffy kittens... but I know it when I see it.

[Canary Diamond 186]

I knew another nurse who said it all the time to patients...

If a medical professional ever freely admitted to having more faith in a higher power than his/her own science-based medical training, I would rip out my own IV and RUN out of the hospital. Then I'd sue for malpractice.

[gamergirl 4,609]

I can't stand that ridiculous statement either. I sure do appreciate the positive thoughts and wishful thinking.

Perhaps that's exactly what they do mean when they say they'll pray for us?

[NoneYa 380]

I am not an athiest. They love you and they love and believe in God and know that you don't. They will and have prayed for you. They have prayed for your soul, your health and your well-being. In fact, the more your reject their beliefs the more they pray for you. You can be annoyed but you'll never be able to stop them. Just look at it as love because thats what its about.

[SuNMooNStaRS816 423]

If a medical professional ever freely admitted to having more faith in a higher power than his/her own science-based medical training' date=' I would rip out my own IV and RUN out of the hospital. Then I'd sue for malpractice.[/quote']

Then you would probably not go to any of the hospitals in my town....lol. The Catholic hospital, the Baptist medical center, or the Methodist hospital. All of which send a nun or a pastor to your room daily to pray for you or with you.

[ElaineB 207]

I say it a lot. I mean it, I do it, and I'm not trying to convert you. That's God's job. It really is said, in my opinion, as a loving, caring statement. And, the great thing is, you don't have to believe for it to make a difference, or for it to work.

[LifetimeLoser 208]

I understand what you mean. It can be frustrating as my family is highly religious also. I also understand that for them because they believe so much in their faith it is hard for them to think out of that box. I don't think people are that on it to remember....oh I shouldn't say that because she is an atheist. They just do what they do.

[MeganES 41]

Hi! So I was raised Mormon, really have fallen away from that line of thinking. Really don't know where I stand in the whole is there a god, isn't there a god thing. I definitely believe in an afterlife, definitely believe in the power of good thought. Often I'll say I'm praying for someone. The reality is that I'm sending good thoughts out to whatever there is in the universe. Specifically, sometimes, so it feels like prayer. "Universe, please let ____ have a successful surgery and healthy recovery." I'm not necessarily talking to god, but I'm not talking to myself either.

Whatever someone says to me, if it results in them thinking positive thoughts in my direction, I'll take it.

[Dani.o.dani 67]

When people say "I'll pray for you" to someone they know is a nonbeliever it is a subtle attack on the atheist's way of thinking. When someone says it to another person who they don't know what their religious beliefs are, they are projecting their own religion onto that person. Either way it's a way to force religion into the conversation and it's also a way for the religious person to assert their "rightness". What may appear as well wishing is actually a form of manipulation. This manipulation becomes clearer when we substitute the word pray for the word sacrifice. "Hey June, heard you are having surgery soon, I'll make sure to sacrifice a dog for you." The religious person is actually excluding June's beliefs and wishes and indulging in their own. It would be far less offensive to say "Hey June, heard you are having surgery, is there anything you would like for me to do?" keeps the well wishing focused on June and her actual experience, not the belief system of the religious person. "You'll be in my thoughts" is still selfish false sentimentality from the point of the believer, but it doesn't thrust their own religious perspective into the conversation so it functions as a better phrase.

[gamergirl 4,609]

When people say "I'll pray for you" to someone they know is a nonbeliever it is a subtle attack on the atheist's way of thinking. When someone says it to another person who they don't know what their religious beliefs are, they are projecting their own religion onto that person. Either way it's a way to force religion into the conversation and it's also a way for the religious person to assert their "rightness". What may appear as well wishing is actually a form of manipulation. This manipulation becomes clearer when we substitute the word pray for the word sacrifice. "Hey June, heard you are having surgery soon, I'll make sure to sacrifice a dog for you." The religious person is actually excluding June's beliefs and wishes and indulging in their own. It would be far less offensive to say "Hey June, heard you are having surgery, is there anything you would like for me to do?" keeps the well wishing focused on June and her actual experience, not the belief system of the religious person. "You'll be in my thoughts" is still selfish false sentimentality from the point of the believer, but it doesn't thrust their own religious perspective into the conversation so it functions as a better phrase.

Your point about "sacrifice" is an interesting one. It does put a different perspective on it. Nonetheless I honestly think people mean well when they say it and haven't given it the thought they should.

For me. I am a devout agnostic. It's possible there's a God out there that responds to prayers and I guess I'll take the positivity in every form that it comes. This is one of those instances I'm willing to look beyond the words and into the intentions of the person and call it a day.

[kyrickchick64 468]

I always say I'll be sending healing thoughts your way. I appreciate anyone's positive thoughts in any way I can get them.

[Trillium 50]

Great discussion, as I've been vexed by the presumption in Facebook support groups that everyone belonging to one believes in God, and worse, that everyone believes in the same deity. Note that I am not offended by people praying for me (I honestly think prayer helps healing, not because it moves a God's hands, but because it helps us feel supportive and supported). I welcome all sorts of religious prayers or nonreligious prayers or positive thoughts and wishes, but I would appreciate some humility and cultural sensitivity around the conversation. We live in a multicultural country full of believers and nonbelievers of all kinds, and people need to get with the times. Asking "how can I support you" and not making assumptions would be a huge step forward.