Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Serious question seeks serious answer!



Recommended Posts

I am not single but I am not blind so am I am allowed to look lol . I can also give perspective from when I was single . I fall in the in between category as far as what I like in a man. I like big men but not "fat" men they don't have to be buff i don't care if they are slightly over weight but too much weight and not enough weight are both turn offs too me .My husband was a 220 lb. 6'2 gym rat when I met him and every guy before him was in the 6'-6'4" r 200-240lb range.I have never been skinny but have always wanted to be thinner so for me it was about being with guys who hadn't "given up" and would support my efforts and maybe even work with me to achieve what I wanted.I dated one "skinny fat" guy and it was annoying because his eating habits were worse than mine on a very bad day.I generally like my men bigger than myself though I think it is my sensitivity and wanting to feel small lol I am 5'2 and it is also why I only like tall men.I so don't get the BBW&Skinny man thing I would feel like I was gonna break somebody lol.I would think there have to be more BBW that also like Large Men maybe just not on those particular sites.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For what it's worth, I think each person has different qualities that they look for. While I agree that for some men their infatutation with BBW is strictly physical (and kind of creepy, imho), I know other men who have told me that they've been attracted to bigger women because they feel as though they're getting someone real, who isn't afraid to be themselves, be funny, etc. Granted, I think they were probably also attracted to the confidence some of those women projected (I agree with the person who said that confidence is a big part of it).

In the end, everyone needs to find a way to be happy with themselves and whomever they choose. Keep on doing what you're doing and don't lose that confidence, and you'll find your way to someone who's a good fit for you :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Even though I've had surgery - I still consider myself a big woman & I am attracted big men. In fact, skinny/slender men aren't my preference. But don't get me wrong whether slender/big, short/tall - physical appearance isn't a ruling out factor for me. I'd rather take an interest in someone who accepts me for me & treats me well regardless physical qualities. So I'm not sure how to answer your question.. Just figured I'd go against the grain here lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've always dated guys who where not so thin or even large. But that's my preference I wouldn't feel confident with a skinny guy because I'm big as hell. Lol. I also do have low confidence in talking to guys so.. But I don't think all woman are like that or bwws. In all sincerity I want someone who will love me for who I am and have the same amount of love to give as I do.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

After my divorce, I was approached by one guy that was pretty big. We hit off for a while. He was good looking and had a great personality, but it was his confidence..the one that made him come up to me in the first place....that started it off. Yes, I am traditional. I do not like to initiate. (For all you horndogs, I am not talking sex right now. LOL!) I think its best for the man to start the conversation if he is looking for more than just idle chit chat. But that is me. MY preference. My weight made me less confident and feel less desirable (not to mention the emotional abuse my ex husband put me through). It wasn't until a healthy body kind of guy showed me how desirable I was to convince me that no matter what, I was beautiful too. I didn't seek him out, he came after me. ;) Perhaps heavier men need that kind of attention too, and we ladies are failing in that aspect? food for thought.

I like all types, as long as they take care of themselves and dont look like they just crawled out of bed. Blech. :P

Anyway, don't forget that many men and women are still subconsciously brainwashed by social standards. In developed countries, we are told to like the healthy/skinny types. In lesser developed countries, the larger the woman the more desirable she is because she can birth babies and she's rich enough to be well fed. This mentality isn't as prevalent as it once was, but it still lingers. As an archaeologist and world traveler, I have seen this first hand. Just more food for thought. 0 calories!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm a BBW (well, big, idk about beautiful) that is insanely attracted to tall fat guys. Like John Goodman status. I'm 5'10" and I've always been very fat in an area where most people are both shorter than me and skinnier by a good chunk. I've never really felt feminine and always kind of feel like a freak. Being around a guy that is both taller and heavier than me makes me feel like an actual woman instead of an awkward Amazon, which is such a rare feeling because in my area there are very few men that match that profile.

My only boyfriend was 6'4" and weighed 160lbs when I weighed 270. I always felt like I was going to snap him like a twig and was constantly self conscious about it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it depends on the individual and is a matter of personal preference. I would never want to go out with the guy who I thought I may accidentally injure during "sexy time" lol. I typically gravitate toward athletic types, And some have been larger and some have been relatively thin guys. However I will say that smaller guys approach me much more frequently than larger ones. In fact, is relatively rare for BBM to even talk to me. I would not go so far as to think that it is the result of some sort of self-loathing. Arguably, it may be the grass is greener scenario----however I still stick with personal preference.

Jennifer

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

As a BBW, i only dated BBM for a long time. I met my partner in a weird circumstance and was drawn to him inexplicably. He's 6'3" and weighed 190 when we met.

Sometimes I miss having a big guy. They're soft to snuggle with!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My boyfriend is a thin guy. He's about 170ish and at my heaviest. I was 303. I'm down to 279 for per op weight (pre op appointment 8/15). But before him I dated bigger guys just because I never thought I was worthy of anyone else. My boyfriend now showed me differently for liking me just the way I am. I also liked those heavier guys for who they were but I would never even try to go for someone who isn't overweight. I still tell my boyfriend sometimes that he is a 9 and I'm like a 4... Horrible I know. He's amazing though.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm v self conscious about my weight when big. Always gravitated towards big blokes (tall and solid) but as it turned out married a shortie with skinny thighs - my personal idea of hell, body shape wise. Love him to bits by the way. And he eats "worse" (more fat) than any big guy I ever dated. Which of course has done nothing for my waist line over the years.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've always (even in my slimmer days) been attracted to the bigger (height and weight) guys. I'm a shorty (5' 1.5") and the tallest guy I dated was 6'8". My current SO is 5'11" & 290. Gotta love them teddy bears!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't understand these attempts (by women) to shame women out of talking about sex, as if it's not a vital part of any relationship. Discussing this does not make one a "horndog," merely a human. I'd like to thank those women who spoke frankly about why they might have been attracted to a particular body type in a man; for being proud of their sexuality. I believe the points they brought up were perfectly relevant to the OP's query.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love a big man..like 6ft'ers and 275ish..big men not fat.. It's a difference.. Like a lot men don't like BBW...

Sent from my iPad using VST

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've ALWAYS been attracted to bigger guys, and I've not always been a big girl. There is no way I could date someone too thin or shorter than I am. I'm just not attracted to them at all.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My dad was thin...big James Vivien fan....I don't do big just personal taste...but my hubby likes big girls...he is gonna struggle with me thin.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Onedayatatime365

      Looking to connect with others who are also on the journey of better health. Post-Op Gastric Sleeve (4/11/24).
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • jparadigm

      Happy Wednesday!
       
      I hope everyone is having a lovely week so far! 
      It's been a bit of a struggle this last week...I'm hungry ALL the time.
      · 1 reply
      1. BlondePatriotInCDA

        Have a great Wednesday too! Sorry you're hungry all the time, I'm pretty much the same..and I'm sick of eating the same food all the time.

    • ChunkCat

      Well, tomorrow I go in for an impromptu hiatal hernia repair after ending up in the ER over the weekend because I couldn't get food down and water was moving at a trickle... I've been having these symptoms on and off for a few weeks but Sunday was the worst by far and came with chest pain and trouble breathing. The ER PA thinks it is just esophagitis and that the surgeon and radiologist are wrong. But the bariatric surgeon swears it is a hernia, possibly a sliding one based on my symptoms. So he fit me into his schedule this week to repair it! I hope he's right and this sorts it out. He's going to do a scope afterwards to be sure there is nothing wrong with the esophagus. Here's hoping it all goes well!!
      · 3 replies
      1. AmberFL

        omgsh!! Hope all goes well!! Keeping you in my thoughts!

      2. gracesmommy2

        Hope you’re doing well!

      3. NickelChip

        I hope it goes well! Sending positive thoughts for a speedy recovery!

    • jparadigm

      Hello lovlies!
      Today is a beautiful day in west Michigan! I hope you all have a beautiful Tuesday and rest of your week!! 🤗
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×