Food Addiction and 12 Steps

[Guest rickydee]

I notice that this thread has been out of commish, but I know that's not because there aren't plenty of recovering people getting WLS.

Think food addiction is going to go away more quietly than alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling or smoking? Don't kid yourself. Addicts of the eating variety, who don't work a program for overcoming food as a medication, shouldn't count on a little nip/tuck to quiet the rage of issues hiding behind that midnight binge.

My name is Ricky and I am a food addict.

[MlkPas 5]

I think you make a great point, Ricky. I don't participate in 12-step myself, but I've been in therapy for more than three years and it's helped me tremendously in dealing with that "rage of issues." My therapist is all for the surgery and we are going to be working hard on the issues that arise as my weight goes down and eating isn't a self-comforting option any more.

I sometimes worry about people who get their surgeries without having to have ANY psych consult or clearance at all. I can't imagine how tough it would be to be full-on, practicing food addict and all of a sudden find it physically impossible to overeat!

[Guest rickydee]

Yeh, that's where a lot of failures come from. Exercise and issues are the bugaboos! Gotta deal with both. I have a hard time believing that anyone who is appropriate for WLS is not a food addict...jus sayin...lol

[LAN2k 18]

I notice that this thread has been out of commish, but I know that's not because there aren't plenty of recovering people getting WLS.

Think food addiction is going to go away more quietly than alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling or smoking? Don't kid yourself. Addicts of the eating variety, who don't work a program for overcoming food as a medication, shouldn't count on a little nip/tuck to quiet the rage of issues hiding behind that midnight binge.

My name is Ricky and I am a food addict.

Hi Ricky, Lis here and I'm a grateful recovering compulsive over-eater in other words, food addict. Grateful because the surgery is forcing me to face myself. I have felt like a tortoise stripped of its shell. Anxious, I went home from the hospital and sank into a most morbid depression. I was so bad that I didn't care about losing weight. My life as I knew it was over and I was left stripped of my identity, alone in my disease and terrified. Terrified because my drug of choice, food as I knew it, was history. My aging parents came to me and stood by while I was paralyzed with fear, I dwelt on death. I went for counseling. I went to 2 psychiatrists. I went through 2 anti-anxiety medications and finally was put on an antidepressant that stimulated my appetite enough so I wouldn't end up back in the hospital, (I was repulsed by food). Now I am working the 12 steps. Years ago, in spite of my lifelong addiction to food, I snubbed the 12 step OA program. Not any more, although I'm still afraid, I'm grateful because the effects of this surgery, (withdrawal from food as I knew it), made me realize my addiction and how years of addiction to food stunted my growth, (joke unintended). For me, shedding the weight is not enough. As I now see it, I've no choice but to work the 12 steps and heal inside. I'm on step one and it's taken me half a lifetime to get there. Thanks for your post.:smile:

[MlkPas 5]

Ricky, I don't think everybody who qualifies for WLS is, as I put it, a "full-on, PRACTICING food addict." I think there are a lot of people, including myself, who have dealt with their food issues to one extent or another, but have done such damage to their bodies that they (we) can't maintain a normal weight without WLS.

But if it pleases you to label us all as addicts, be my guest. :thumbup: As I said, I have been and will continue to work on my own issues, whether or not you approve of my method for doing so.

[LAN2k 18]

Ricky, I don't think everybody who qualifies for WLS is, as I put it, a "full-on, PRACTICING food addict." I think there are a lot of people, including myself, who have dealt with their food issues to one extent or another, but have done such damage to their bodies that they (we) can't maintain a normal weight without WLS.

But if it pleases you to label us all as addicts, be my guest. :thumbup: As I said, I have been and will continue to work on my own issues, whether or not you approve of my method for doing so.

I definitely agree with you MlkPas. I've been communicating on this message board a few months before I had the VSG. There are many very healthy minded and productive people who are thriving post surgery. I am not there yet. I have only begun to deal with my inner core which hid behind my food addiction. I know this is the truth for me. I also believe that many people who have WLS will need to come to terms with their lives without the ability to eat to excess. There are so many variables that have to do with being overweight.. It's not so simplistic or black and white.

[Guest rickydee]

>>>I can't imagine how tough it would be to be full-on, practicing food addict and all of a sudden find it physically impossible to overeat!<<<<

I simply responded to this statement...:thumbup:

[MlkPas 5]

You said:

"I have a hard time believing that anyone who is appropriate for WLS is not a food addict...jus sayin...lol"

I took that to mean that you do not and would not believe any WLS patient who claims not to be a practicing food addict. Including me. Which means, basically, that you are claiming (after being on this board long enough to make THREE posts) that you know the situation of every single WLS patients better than they themselves do, and that I must be either lying or deluded in my post. I find that pretty offensive, although sadly not uncommon from very enthusiastic 12-steppers.

I totally agree with you that almost all of us have complicated issues around food and weight that need to be looked at before and after surgery. I just don't happen to agree that having those issues automatically requires that the label "addict" needs to be slapped on each and every one of us.

How 'bout you take care of labeling your own self and let the rest of us take care of our own labels, if we want them?

[Guest rickydee]

>>>it's helped me tremendously in dealing with that "rage of issues"<<<

Only you can say what modality is best for you, the rage speaks for itself...no one has the right to disapprove of your therapy, least of all me, a career therapist....

[MlkPas 5]

Okay, then. Carry on. :thumbup:

[Tiffykins 672]

Ricky, I don't think everybody who qualifies for WLS is, as I put it, a "full-on, PRACTICING food addict." I think there are a lot of people, including myself, who have dealt with their food issues to one extent or another, but have done such damage to their bodies that they (we) can't maintain a normal weight without WLS.

But if it pleases you to label us all as addicts, be my guest. :thumbup: As I said, I have been and will continue to work on my own issues, whether or not you approve of my method for doing so.

You wrote everything I wanted to say, but were much more eloquent.

I know that I had/have food issues, but my little nip/tuck took care of it for the most part.

I've dealt with addiction for most of my adult life. Be it, men, booze, dope, or food, but I haven't had to walk around with a sign that says " Hi, I'm an addict." I deal with my demons in ways that work for me.

I haven't ever sought professional help for my demons. Would it have helped? Possibly, but I have survived, and continue to thrive without counseling or therapy. Not that I would never seek counseling if I felt it necessary, but sometimes people are capable of finding renewed faith, and success without labeling themselves for the entire world to see and judge.

[LAN2k 18]

After my surgery I walked into a 12 step OA meeting for the first time in many years. (I went to one meeting years back and walked out). Today, I really need to be around people who also need people. My surgeon offered group support for WLS, but only once a month and once a month was/is not enough for me. There is also 12 traditions of any 12 step program and anonymity is once of them. For my circumstances, it's helping me more than one on one psychotherapy. These are real people from all walks and professions who allow themselves to open up, share and trust one another. I am slowly learning what it means to live in the moment and finding it helps me. I also find this message board a great source of support. But I need the addition of person to person contact and although it may not be for everyone, the 12 step group of OA is a very good thing for me. I'd also like to add that this message board in another way has been like a life-line for me especially when I was at my worst.

[ishary 0]

After my surgery I walked into a 12 step OA meeting for the first time in many years. (I went to one meeting years back and walked out). Today, I really need to be around people who also need people. My surgeon offered group support for WLS, but only once a month and once a month was/is not enough for me. There is also 12 traditions of any 12 step program and anonymity is once of them. For my circumstances, it's helping me more than one on one psychotherapy. These are real people from all walks and professions who allow themselves to open up, share and trust one another. I am slowly learning what it means to live in the moment and finding it helps me. I also find this message board a great source of support. But I need the addition of person to person contact and although it may not be for everyone, the 12 step group of OA is a very good thing for me. I'd also like to add that this message board in another way has been like a life-line for me especially when I was at my worst.

Hi Lan!

I too find a great source of comfort in those rooms.

I attended CEA How a spin off of OA and actually lost 70lbs by following that program. I never could find my way back to the program and thats why I chose WLS first with the band - and when it slipped and I had to have an emergency removal- I swore to myself that I would go back to the program- I didnt - couldnt and then about a year later after gaining almost 100 lbs back I opted for VSG. I am thrilled with my sleeve and I have absolutley no regrets- anymore (I did the first month out) I will say that I have thought about going to a meeting for the support though.

I wish there was a 12 step group for Post WLS people?

[Tiffykins 672]

After my surgery I walked into a 12 step OA meeting for the first time in many years. (I went to one meeting years back and walked out). Today, I really need to be around people who also need people. My surgeon offered group support for WLS, but only once a month and once a month was/is not enough for me. There is also 12 traditions of any 12 step program and anonymity is once of them. For my circumstances, it's helping me more than one on one psychotherapy. These are real people from all walks and professions who allow themselves to open up, share and trust one another. I am slowly learning what it means to live in the moment and finding it helps me. I also find this message board a great source of support. But I need the addition of person to person contact and although it may not be for everyone, the 12 step group of OA is a very good thing for me. I'd also like to add that this message board in another way has been like a life-line for me especially when I was at my worst.

I agree that it works for some people.

I happen to one of the few that attending these type of meetings only upset me more than help.

I seriously loathed WW meetings, and I attend alanon meetings when I was younger due to my father's alcoholism. I am not sure if I can pinpoint why this type of setting doesn't work for me, but I've been hesitant to even attend our monthly support group because of my past experience. I promise I wasn't trying to say that it doesn't work for some, but for me and my personal demons, I have to work on them through different venues.

[Guest rickydee]

There is nothing magic about the 12 Steps, they are just a set of principles that seem to free many people from the bonds of dependency. I am not a BigBook thumper at all.

The first step says it all: I am powerless over food and my life has certainly become unmanageable. That is my definition of "addiction." It seems to fit for the overeater, food dependent person, or whatever is the most comfortable concept. No one can tell anyone if they are "an addict." Only that person knows if they are powerless and their life has become unmanageable.

The main reason I think this is so important to discuss, is that at 5 -10 yrs out, the impact of WLS goes back to the individual's ability to control the eating. That is an awful time to have to finally face food dependency, if it exists. I am going into this process knowing that I need the structure of other's support and some kind of higher power, as I understand that term.

I am supportive of other people and their efforts to overcome obesity and would not try to label them against their will. The 12th Step is to try to carry this message to help others. After 15 years of sobriety I know the importance of reacging out to those who are suffering "outside the rooms" as we say.

I would just remind anyone that this is a 12 Step Thread and that talking about eating in terms of addiction is appropriate here and that those who are not comfortable with 12 Step program terms and concepts might be uncomfortable posting here...

The 12 Steps (Higher Power Version)

Step 1 - We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable

Step 2 - Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

Step 3 - Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of a Higher Power as we understood It.

Step 4 - Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves

Step 5 - Admitted to a Higher Power, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs

Step 6 - Were entirely ready to have all these defects of character removed.

Step 7 - Humbly asked a Higher Power to help us remove our shortcomings

Step 8 - Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all

Step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others

Step 10 - Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

Step 11 - Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with a Higher Power, praying only for knowledge of a Higher Power and the power to carry that out.

Step 12 - Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs