Christian, single mom's, I need to talk to you!

[Jesus68 0]

Hi, I am new and i am in the need of hearing others stories that are similar to mine and what you chose to do. I am a single mom of three beautiful daughters. the ages are 21,14,12. I am 40. I have had the lap band and it was a nightmare, to say the least. I had it removed in '07, I am now at my wits end again with my weight consuming my life. I swore i would never consider weight loss surgery again, but i have been researching the sleeve and am impressed with what i have learned so far. Here is my delima... my insurance will not pay for this surgery and i can not afford it. I am doing a lot of praying for God's guidance on this. it is a situation where i can take my tithing away from God to pay for surgery (by getting it financed and having a monthly payment) that will eventually give me more energy to be able to serve him in the way that he asks of me. And it will also give me the energy to be a better, stronger influence and example for my daughters. (The main thing I want out of surgery is to have more energy to be able to do more for God and for and with my daughters.)So is it right to take one of God's requirements of me away from him in order to give him another? I am so torn. Has anyone else faced this situation?

Any outloook would be greatly appreciated.:biggrin2:

[Jesus68 0]

ok, maybe i put to much of a description on who I wanted to here from. even if you are not single or a mom, if you have crossed this path in your journey, please tell me your story.

thanks!

[shanda7182 5]

Hi,

Welcome to the site. I am not a single mother but I am a Christian (hope you dont mind me posting). What you are dealing with is a sticky situation and I see both sides. I have battled with weight all of my life and I have been in some situations, where I have had to make choices about do I give to God or do I do x, y or z. I think you and both know the "biblical" answer to this. But the real answer comes from "what you feel comfortable doing" and can you live with your decision. I made the decision to have WLS, after loosing weight on my on several times and coming to the conclusion that I could no longer continue doing that to myself. I would just say pray, our GOD knows our heart. I took this money from my 401k and some of my savings to finance the surgery. I am taking a risk as well because I will have to be on a super tight budget and I am also planning a wedding BUT I had to prioritize based on what was important to me. Yes my wedding is important but I can marry the love of my life in a box and I would still do it, so I just decided to put my extra money towards making my health and future better for me and my future husband.

Here are some option to consider:

1. Have you considered an appeal through your insurance company, many people have done that.

2. Can you take money from your retirement? I was able to take money out on a "hardship" and since it was a medical procedure that I was having, I did not have to pay the money back. (FYI- im only 27 and I figured I would have enough time to build it back up, just throwing out options). So they took a little tax from the money and had it in my acct within 10 days.

I would def. advise you to pray about and ask GOD to show you what to do. Sometimes, he gives us a sign or sometimes he speaks through other people. None of us can tell you the right thing but he can, he is our provider, protector, etc. I will keep you in my prayer as well as I am going through some stress right now dealing with my procedure but I am putting it in GODs hands.....

Be blessed and let us know:biggrin0:

[Jesus68 0]

Shanda7182,

thank you, thank you, thank you. I welcome any advice i can get. I probably shouldn't have put such a strict title on my post. It is good to here from someone who has had a similar situation. I have not checked on my 401K, I will definately check on this Monday. This is the first i have heard about taking money out on a possible hardship. That would be such a blessing. I am praying continously that God will give me the answer, but like you, i know that he speaks through other people, he has done this for me many times in my walk with him. I am trying to just be still and know that HE IS GOD, and let him minister to me.

As far as an appeal to my insurance company... i did this when i went throught the lap band procedure and revision of the lap band and removal of the lap band... no success.

I truly appreciate your prayers and I will be praying for you as well. have you had complications with your procedure?

Your kind words mean so much to me. I do not have any one to talk to about this. no one understands. I learned that through my lap band nightmare. Everyone would be so dissapointed in knowing that i was considering another weightloss surgery.

God Bless you Shanda7182.

[Tiffykins 672]

Hi, and first off welcome to the board.

I am not single, but am of the Christian faith. I truly believe that God is in control, and there are no unanswered prayers. You may not get the answer you want, but your prayers will answered.

I have not been in your exact situation, but I truly believe this " Trust says God can, Faith says He will." I live by that every day. Your reasons for considering WLS again are very valid. I do empathize with you on that point. I wanted to feel better so I could be a better mother, I wanted to be more active. I will definitely keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know God will bless you.

[Jesus68 0]

Thank you Tiffykins,

I appreciate your prayers so much! I love that quote! I will be hiding that one in my heart and reminding myself of it every day, thank you. I know God will show me the way. Thank you for the reply!!

God Bless you Tiffykins.

Edited September 13, 2009 by Jesus68

[shanda7182 5]

Im glad that my words could be helpful to you. Definently check out your 401K plan, I was all ready to take "a loan against" mine and pay it back over the course of a few years, however, after I spoke to them over the phone they told me that I qualified for the hardship request because my reason was for medical purposes. I felt finding that out was truly a blessing for me! I mean, it is my money, but they can be so strict with how and when you can take your money.

I have not had my surgery yet but I am scheduled to have mine this coming Tuesday, 9/15/09. When I went in for my preop workup, some of my labs were slightly elevated, which required me to recieve some injections, to stimulate my PT and INR values. I am scheduled to follow up with them on Monday to see if my labs have stabilized.

For the life of me, im baffled, I have never had such a problem with my labs but like so many have said, nothing is an accident. I am actually at peace with whatever happens at this point. If I go in on Monday and things havent resolved maybe its not meant to be at this time or ever, who knows. But I would love to proceed with the VSG.

This whole weight and weight loss surgery thing is such an emotional rollercoaster......its a constant battle. However, I will keep the boards abreast of with my surgery situation on Monday.

May I ask, what happened with your lapband (reason for removal), just curious.

Otherwise, I really pray that things work out for you. Maybe you can take a hardship out on your retirement. That would be great because you are not required to repay the money.:lol0:

I see that you are in Cleburne, TX, where exactly is that? Im in Houston.

Please keep in touch.

Shanda

[Tiffykins 672]

Thank you Tiffykins,

I appreciate your prayers so much! I love that quote! I will be hiding that one in my heart and reminding myself of it every day, thank you. I know God will show me the way. Thank you for the reply!!

God Bless you Tiffykins.

I just noticed you are from Cleburne, Tx. I'm from a little town near Weatherford, and call Bedford, TX my home because I lived there for so long after getting out of school, and my parent's home.

[Ky.hen 5]

Hello and welcome.

I have a little thought that you may want to consider. My doc told me this surgery could add 15 years to my life, God willing. Think about what you could do with an extra 15 years to serve God. It would be awsom.

If your 401k money don't work out and you decide to go ahead with the surgery, you could write an IOU out to God and place it in your bible. Don't forget to do things to serve Our Heavenly Father while paying back your Heavenly Loan. Just something to think about.

[Jesus68 0]

I am so sorry i haven't replied. I have had computer issues. I have prayed and prayed for God to lead me in the right direction. I have decided to go forward with the Sleeve procedure. I feel peace about it and God revealed to me several different things. one of wich is that i am worring about something that hasn't happened yet. I know in my heart that God wants me to be happy and productive when it comes to him and my family. God knows me more than i know myself and he knows my heart. I am His child and i have to think about the love I have for my child to be able to even touch along the same lines of the love My God has for me. Thank you all for your comments, I have taken them to heart and they have helped me very much. Thank you Ky.hen for your thoughts as well, you are so right. I have discussed things with my daughters to see what they think as well and i have their 100% support which gives me peace as well. I was so affraid that they would not understand and would be upset for me even thinking about surgery again. I am so blessed to have them by my side.

I think i have a tendensy to over think things because of my fear of dissapointing God. But He created me and knows me inside out. He sees me for who i am in HIM. I Love Him so much!

I am tentively scheduled to have my sergury on October 1st. I will keep everyone posted as to how it goes.

As far as my story about my lap band procedure... to put it simply, i had the procedure (evidently with a Dr. that is now know to not be so great)(Dr. Robert Powell) in Novemeber of 2004. I had my fills with someone other than my surgeon who was closer to where i lived (Dr. Fred Mease). He was very aggressive. everytime i got a fill, i was sick and throwing up and back in his office for an un-fil. eventually i was throwing up blood. I had band revision surgery in July of 2006 by the same surgeon and then stayed with him for the fills. I experienced what i believe to be the way the band was supposed to work for one month. I lost about 15 pounds that month, no problems. then, i went in to get another fill and he would not give it to me. After that point, i started to gain weight back and decided to see a surgeon and follow up DR. in Fort Worth (Dr. Michael Green). he filled me too tight, I threw up blood... ended up in and out of emergency rooms of two different hospitals for two weeks begging that same surgeon to take my bank out, I had had it. He kept putting me off, found out that my galbladder needed to come out, did the surgery, sent me home. Went back in for a last time to see him and said i would not leave that hospital with that band in me. He said OK. That was on a Friday, On Saturday morning they informed me that the Dr, had gone out of town and was unreachable and sent me home. I got home and called my first surgeon and he had the band out of me that afternoon and i have not had any problems since.

The biggest nightmare ever. Dr. Green is still billing me for all the visits even after i begged his office to write it off considering he had done nothing but blow me off for two weeks instead of doing what I had requested to begin with.

I am sorry this is so long. I wanted to answer that question and i am not sure if i will get back on in the next couple of days.

I am sure praying that every one on here has success with what ever choice they are making in there lives. God Loves Everyone of us. We are HIS children. Trust in Him. Have Faith in Him. He is right there with you.

God Bless each of you!!!

Thanks!!!:party4:

[Jesus68 0]

Sorry, I forgot something....my 401K plan didn't work out. My Employer doesn't allow any withdraws at all. I will be getting a loan for it and Trust in God.

[Ky.hen 5]

I'm glad that you are at peace with your decision. I'm going to have surgery on Oct. 1st also. I took a loan against my car to get the money. Our Heavenly Father knows that I am weak when it comes to dieting. He loves me anyway. I know that he will be beside me through my journey. I can feel the spirit of his love surrounding me.

Where are you having your surgery? I look forward to keeping up with your progress.

ps-I am having my surgery by Dr. Aceves for $9000 total for everything.

[Malaika 50]

Sorry, I forgot something....my 401K plan didn't work out. My Employer doesn't allow any withdraws at all. I will be getting a loan for it and Trust in God.

God will provide.

[Jesus68 0]

I am having my surgery with Dr. Castro either in Dallas or Fort Worth (not set on location yet). I really thought about going with Dr. Aceves because of the cost, but being a single mom and no family to depend upon, I just couldn't bring myself to go to Mexico. So many "what if's". What if something happens, what about my kids, i am so far away. It was too scary for me. I would if I had family to take care of my girls. I look forward to keeping up with your pogress as well Ky.hen!! Are you doing any pre- op dieting?

Vegas Angel, thank you for your kind words. I trully know that God WILL provide.

It hit me last night while i was saying my prayers to God... The first commandment he gives us is "Thou shalt have no other gods before me". I have placed food above God , therefore, it has become a god to me in my life. I truly believe that God is blessing me and giving me peace about this decision because it WILL be a way to put God FIRST in my life instead of food and therefore, i will finaly be in line and able to obey Gods first commandment. I just broke sown and cried like a baby when God revealed that to me last night. He is such a loving God.

[Malaika 50]

He definitely IS a loving God and a forgiving God ... He puts up with so much from us; but then again, He knows all our weaknesses as He created us.

Let go and let God. He will bring you through this and provide for you.