bearhugs1975

So I am scheduled for revision to sleeve on the 20th of October. I have no fluid in my band and haven't since July. Last night dinner was baked chicken breast (was not dry at all) and steamed Veggies. I got so stuck at dinner last night that I was sliming and vomiting for an hour. I can't seem to eat what I should and it just doesn't want to work with me. Unfortunately I over the past 4 years have resorted to sliders to tame the hunger monster. I back up a little with my story, I was banded on June 9, 2010. On the day of surgery, I weighed 188 (I am 5'2). I was losing pretty good with the band with the occasional blockage which I attributed to user error on my part. On my 6th month Bandiversary 12-9-10, my only brother (age 30) was found dead in his bed. He just didn't wake up. It was determined (oh they were so great and made us wait a month to tell us the outcome of the autopsy) that it was sleep apnea. He didn't know he had it. Anyway, back to me. My band closed up that day. It took everything I had to eat anything, but I don't remember caring. Actually, I don't remember much for the next 6 months, it all is a blur. At the one year point, I weighed 130. Great that is awesome, except I was subsisting on Cheetos. That was seriously the only thing that would go down and I was starving. I was finally coming out of the grief fog and wanted to be able to eat something healthy. I longed for chicken. I went for a unfill of a couple of cc and started to gain instantly. For the last 3 years, I have played the fill/unfill game to no avail. I have been filled to the point of barely swallowing water. It all sucks. I am currently back to 180, almost where I started before. I know I must have more muscle this time because I am smaller in. Clothing size (18 vs 12) than I was when I started the band journey. What I would like to know from newbies and most importantly veterans is how this surgery is different to you. My brothers death could have been prevented by some weight loss so I am determined to not meet the same fate. I just know I can't keep this devil device in me any longer!